For how long could you keep it as a LDR?

[audrey]

hi everyone, just wondering how much time would you like to keep distance between you and your loved one.

 

i have almost 2 years now, and it have been not easy at all. But i really want to be faithful and i now it will.

 

well, so what do you say? i'd like to hear some opinions

[melrich]

Personally I think one of the most important things for the success of an LDR is that you have an end game, that you know and have plans for when you are going to be together.

 

If you are in different states or different countries and you're just "in" an LDR with no real plans for the long term I think it would be hard to sustain it for too long.

[Blue Skittles]

It would depend on the distance and how frequent the visits were. I could keep a LDR going for a year as long as we visited at least once a month. After that year I would expect that we would at least have plans made for living in the same place.

[dnozzle]

I just had a 1 year LDR that had a 3 year total timeline. The distance was hard, but daily communication helped that a lot. I think the key to surviving a LDR is to make good use of the time you do have together. Appreciate that time and treat it accordingly. Don't bicker about petty things but just realize how nice it is to be able to spend a little bit of time together talking each day.

[RayKay]

Well, ideally, none!

 

 

That being said, I have had two LDR's. One was for about 14-15 months while he was on the other side of the world for school, and the other was for about a year while he was about 9-10 hour drive away. Obviously in the latter I saw him far more than in the former one, but the first relationship lasted years after we were back in person (until he passed away) and the second ended a few months after he returned.

 

Both started off as in person relationships, the first for a year and a half beforehand, the second only for a few weeks.

 

I would say in LDR's the main thing is to have a goal to be together not only regularly, but also at some determined point, permanently. I think an indefinite LDR is nearly impossible, or if not impossible probably not satisfying for either or one of the parties involved and over time will add more and more complications to things. Just my $0.02 though.

[rikka]

I am looking at a year timeline for my relationship. If things haven't changed or the end isn't near, then it maybe time to re-evaluate things.

[audrey]

all of you are very fast eh!

 

well, i agree with you. it's important to have an end game as melrich says, actually i think that no one would accept something as a LRD knowing that there is no end to this situation.

 

Also really important the visits, how many times you both are able to go to see the other one.i see my bf twice a year and we talk every single day, maybe those things are the key to succeding in a LRD

[revitalized]

mine lasted about a year and 2 months. Shouldn't have lasted that long. She changed and just disrespected me so I am glad it's over. but daily communication is definetely a key. and also, atleast every 2 weeks or so a phonecall is very helpful. and yes, always remain faithful.

[booberry]

we've had an LDR since October 2005. I wouldnt be in a LDR longer than three years, after that, I think you two have too many excuses for not being together.

[anydaynow]

I've been in an LDR for about 4 years now, but it is only a 3 hour drive and we see each other every weekend.

 

I think if it was longer, like not a weekend drive away, I could not have dealt with it as long as I have.

 

I'm okay for about another year, I think.

 

Oh- it's been about 8 years total, 4 LDR, 4 non-LDR. Except the first 4 non-LDR were LDR during the summers, but only a 1-2 hour drive. Oh, the many phases of LDR we've been through... Thank goodness they are all pretty 'light,' as far as all LDRs go.

[aymee_lee]

I've been in a LDR (2 hr drive) for about 3-4 months now. It's already driving me crazy! It's really hard. I'm a teacher, and in Aus, the school year ends in Dec. We're tentatively looking at us living together at the end of next year's school year. (It would just be easier to look for another job at the end of a school year for a teacher, rather than half way through the year).

 

Some people might think that it's a bit too early in the relationship to make calls like that, but I agree with the above posters. If you have no end point, it becomes very difficult. We have talked briefly about the possibility of us living together next Dec but obviously with it being a relatively new relationship, nothing is set in stone. But if it got to, say, half way through next year and plans weren't seriously being made, I'd start to get a bit edgy. Mainly because unless I broke contract, if we didn't more in together next Dec, it would most likley be the Dec after that, which I think would be too long (2 and a 1/2 years). I guess the distance makes you evaluate how much you really want the relationship. I realise you can't ever say 'We are together, and that will never change' but we have both said, we need to be in this, really in this, or it's not worth it.

 

It's different when you live in the same town, not everything has to be so planned out and formal. But when you live far away from the beginning, it's hard to be casual about it. That's me, anyway.

 

It's hard to say, really. The teaching situation makes it hard for me too. But after almost a year and a half apart, I think I'll be well in my rights to expect the LDR thing to end (as he would be too!).

[PhilliesFan001]

I've been in one for nearly a year. And, if all goes as planned, will be for another 3 years (I'm in college).

 

Ideally if we're still together, my plan is to move to the UK after I graduate (but not because of him, I've been wanting this for my entire life.)

 

During the next 3 years, one of them will be spent in the UK on study abroad, but the other 2 will pretty much be the same LD as it is now. And I'm perfectly fine with it.

[elaineska]

I've been in an LDR for two years now (500-mile distance). I've been accepted into the college he's going to, so I will move close to him in the summer. So... 5 more months. Then NO MORE LONG DISTANCE!!!

 

The fact that I know the distance part is going to end soon keeps me going. It's really important to have that.