Am I too jealous?

[nycagent]

My boyfriend and I have been together for ten months. I love him very much and were planning on moving in together in a couple of months. We spend every night together in one of our homes or another. About a month ago I was at his office surfing on his computer and came accross a website specifially designed to meet people for sex. When I first asked him about it he denied it. I then decided to create a fake screen name with a fake photo on this site. He responded to my ad which horrified me. I confronted him again and after a little while and me almost walking out he confessed and cried saying that he was bored one day so he created a bogus screen name. He said he never intended to meet anyone and that he felt embarrsed to tell me the first time I confronted him. He hasnt visited that site anymore nor any other related sites, I've checked. He constantly tells me that I'm the only one for him. Last night I found a number on his floor from a local bar. He told me it wasnt his and that he hadnt been there in months and had never met anyone there. I had just cleaned his apartment that week and found no such item so I find it hard to believe it came out of nowhere. He let me rip it up and that was that. I'm a little concerned that hes cheating on me and a little more concerned that I'm too jealous and theres nothing to worry about. Any thoughts?

[friendindeed]

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is putting precious time that he should be focussing on you elsewhere. I have a girlfriend who has experienced the same behavior from her boyfriend. It was very hard for her to believe that he could be searching online for someone else, but ultimately she came to the conclusion that he was, not only because of that, but also because of other signs (staying up late at night on the computer, finding pornography in his house, and feeling neglected overall).

 

I have to agree, if it talks and walks like a duck, then it is a duck.

 

Everything in this world happens for a reason. Maybe the man you are meant to be with is lurking right around the corner just waiting for you to dump this jerk.

 

Learn a valuable lesson from this relationship. The man you are with should be 100% loyal, on and offline. Saying that he is just pretending to be cheating(like your boyfriend said to you) is an insult to your intelligence.

 

Take care,

Jenna~~~

 

[talk2me]

Fortunately, you caught him red handed the first time. He only confessed after you could prove that he was guilty. He would have denied until then, right? I've heard all the excuses and in my experience, don't be nieve, this isin't a case of being too jealous, it is about trust. Listen to your gut feelings, not your heart or his lines " your the only one", they all say that. I realize you love the guy, but this is only the beginning. I know it is easier said than done, but remember once a liar, always a liar. Good Luck and listen to your instincts.

[Nobody]

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through but it's best that you found out when you did - not later on in your relationship. I agree with both talk2me & friendindeed's replies. This is probably only the beginning. Once a liar, always a liar. Trust yourself, your feelings and examine what you get out of being with this guy. You are a smart woman and deserve a loyal, respectful partner.

 

Take care of yourself and good luck...

[gsxr104]

You deserve better than this.

[Jd1983]

To be honest, I don't think that you're too jealous. In fact, your feelings are justified.

 

I would definitely hold off on moving in with him, in fact I would even reevaluate the relationship if I were you. It sounds as though he is a liar, and a possible cheater.

 

There is definitely a cause to worry. How can you possibly trust him when he is online looking for sex, getting numbers from women etc? He is just feeding you b.s., things that you want to hear.

 

I'm sorry but if this was my bf, he would have been long gone.

[wildchild1]

His stories sounds highly unlikely.