My 17 year old sis and a 31 year old guy??

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Ok.

Well my sister goes to gym and has been for a while.And she meet this 31 year old there and they were friends but i axidently heard her talking about him to someone else and then i asked her about it later.Shes only 17 (turning 18 in september next year) and his about 31.My mum very much disapproves about it and so My sister told me that when she finishes school they might go out propley and now shes finished and i asked her and she she there not 'offical' yet.My sister sneaks out to see him all the time by saying shes going to her mates and yeah.She told me not to tell any one but i dont want her to date him.

 

What should i do??

[AwdreeHpburn]

Let her make her own mistakes......

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

But he is 31 (probley 32 now i think) and he is as old as my other sister

[shikashika]

yeah right she is just sneaking out to see him as 'friends'... why does she have to sneak out?!?!

 

 

There is something wrong with a 31 year old letting a 17 year old hang out with him.. no matter how 'mature' she is... or thinks she is...

[melrich]

Yes unfortunately there is probably little you can do right now. The more you hassle her about it the more she will probably want to se this guy.

 

I don't think it is appropriate but if it is not illegal I think she'll probably not listen to sense on the matter no matter what you do.

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

I know if i serousily talked to her and told her how much i care about she might back down.But im the only one who thinks its wrong!!!

 

He's to old for her and she just finished school and i dont want her to get hurt

[AwdreeHpburn]

How do you know - what makes you so sure he's too old for her?

 

Maybe he's really immature and not very bright for his age. Maybe he's more like a 17 year old, mentally.

 

Is she under the age of consent where you are? Cos if she is, than that's an issue. But if she's "legal" there's not a lot you CAN do.

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Well the legal age to have sex over here is 16 i think

 

But he is letting a 17 year old sneak out and my mum talked to her about it a while ago when they went to the movies as just friends and she didnt like it all and then my sister to him of what my mum and dad strongly think

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Liza, what country do you live in? If you're in the USA, what state? (Don't give out the exact location, just the state!) I could look up the law of consent for you, wherever you live. This is possibly illegal. If not technically illegal, it's still unmoralistic in my mind. It's very mature of you to be concerned. You should be proud of yourself.

[AwdreeHpburn]

well - there's no doubt he's being disrespectful of what your parents think - but your sister is too.

 

I think you should let her make her own choices. I tihnk your role is to warn her and then be there to support her as she deals with the consequences of her actions. But she IS 17 and has to make her own decisions and take responsibility for them. You can only do so much, ya know....

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Yeah i live in Australia QLD (were having a drought here

 

Thanks ta ree saw well ill just keep updating what i know

 

And thanks everyone else

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Well, I just googled it, and it's legal in Australia, but I'd still say a bit unethical being that he's well, 31. Far too old in my opinion to be dating a 17 year old. There's plenty of women in their 20's and 30's for that matter. Why would he want a teen? Being that it's legal though, there's nothing much you could do. Your parents would have a say though, if she's living under their roof.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Again, it's good to see someone so young who already has moral boundaries and questions whether certain ethical issues are right or wrong.

[Mythical_Suicide]

By no means am I saying it's right (nor wrong, I am not the one to be judging) but hun, as every other posteer has said there isn't much you can do about it so don't stress yourself so much, K?.. Myself being in an age gap relationship no where near the age of gap of these two but 7 years to be exact. I started dating my bf at 16, he was 22 we have now been together 3 years and have a kid together and we are happy, of course we have our problems but who doesn't? and it never is about our age difference. Okay, to quit my rambling my point is while I think it's oddly strange that a 30 year old would want a relationship with a teenager they could see something in each other (as someone else said, he could be very IMMATURE! for his age, who is to say). The more you, and your parents try to stop her the more she's going to do it. You are going to just have to make her own mistakes and hope she either moves on or doesn't get hurt in the situation.

[unface]

Tell her to make sure he uses a condom.

[shikashika]

doesn't matter if he's immature... there is a reason why a 31 year old is hanging out with a child..... and thats what she is....a child!!

 

Of course, no one, including myself at that age, likes to think they're a child... but she is..

 

and if he is immature... who wants a guy like that?!?

 

That guy is an idiot!

[rthiaugpuf]

I think you should tell your parents, I think it might be dangerous having an older man interested in such a young girl. Go ahead and tattle, your sister will forgive you eventually.

 

when my older sister lost her virginity to some douchebag guy, she told me about it and asked that I wouldn't tell my parents, but I told him within an hour. everything worked out just fine, sure she was mad at me at first, but it was a situation kinda like yours (cant really get into it) but it had potential to become a very dangerous situation, and my sister now thanked me for it, because I just might have saved her life.

[Mythical_Suicide]

there isnt much her parents can do except "forbid" her to do it and it is just going to make her wanna do it more.

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

I think you should tell your parents, I think it might be dangerous having an older man interested in such a young girl. Go ahead and tattle, your sister will forgive you eventually.

 

Dude my sister would never forgive me.Like ever

 

I know i should maybe tell them hbut i love her and she will never talk to me again

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

there isnt much her parents can do except "forbid" her to do it and it is just going to make her wanna do it more.

 

Yes that is so true

[bitbit]

i was in that same situation a while ago. i dated 39 y/o when i was 17. you can't help who you have feelings for... and in the nicest way, i know she's your sister, but it's none of your business. i know you're worried about her, but if you tell her she shouldn't date him or anything, you become the enemy, like your mom and dad are now. but if you're supportive, she'll talk to you about whats going on and you'll know if something really does go wrong (he becomes abusive or controlling) and you'll be able to step in if and when it actually becomes a problem. be understanding so she'll trust you enough to tell you what's going on b/w the two of them.

[lil_unique_me]

I dated a 32 year old when i was just 16....

yeah i was emotionally immature but i was legal, and to be honest, if two people like each other why on earth stand in their way

yeah sneaking out is bad but with you stressing her about it more and more shes just gonna go running to him, let her make her own mistakes and stop trying to protect her, everyone needs to make a few mistakes, otherwise, how on earth do you learn?

You learn from the past

Catie x x x

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Well i talked to her yesterday when she was driving me to shays and she said it was kinda sad that they cant go out cause he knows her better than her own best friend and just stuff like that.

she sounded really hurt.I know it sounds stupid but i blame himfor doing this.I know she couldnt help how she felt about him and she cant stop what she feels but he must of known it was going to turn out like this cause he knew from the beggining but still he continued with it

[pregnantkitty_1985]

doesn't matter if he's immature... there is a reason why a 31 year old is hanging out with a child..... and thats what she is....a child!!

 

Of course, no one, including myself at that age, likes to think they're a child... but she is..

 

and if he is immature... who wants a guy like that?!?

 

That guy is an idiot!

 

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I don't even have to type a word.