Forgiveness, What is the point? Please give your input.

[crookster_man]

Hello enotalone, I have a topic that I would like about: Forgiveness. Far to often in our journey of healing and self-discovery, we forget the importance of this critical action. Perhaps we do not understand what forgiveness is or maybe we assume that if we forgive someone we become weak. Either way this is completely wrong. In fact without true forgiveness you will never be able to fully move on from the pain you have suffered.

 

It is for this reason that I wish to bring this topic to light. I will give my explanation of what I feel forgiveness is, and then I would ask that you add your own thoughts about forgiveness.

 

To Forgive: The original meaning of this word was to "Forgo the Giving". Which means, to cancel/stop the giving. In this case what is given is guilt, pain, anger and a desire for payment. When someone wrongs us we desire for them to hurt, to "Pay" for their actions. We swell up with anger and dwell upon a situation because we feel that if we let go of the anger then the other person would have gotten away with their "crime". We demand payment for the hurt we have felt.

 

However, no matter what they do. No matter how much times passes, if we do not eventually forgive the trespasser, we will never fully heal and get over the incident. The actual pain and hurt of the crime is very short. Maybe only a few moments of our lives, yet we dwell on the sadness and hurt which causes us to be victimized over and over. We swell up with anger and cloud our minds, dwell in melancholy and exist as a victim.

 

So by holding onto your anger and not releasing it you are in fact hurting yourself and no one else. The person who has harmed you doesn't feel the pain and hurt of your dwelling. They do not suffer because when you say, "I hate you". They move on and live their lives, you however are self victimized.

 

We must all learn to forgive those who have harmed us and forgive ourselves for whatever crimes we have caused another. I must stress this. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you accept, tolerate and are "okay with" the action. Nor does it mean that you have to befriend the other person or even allow them back into your life. Forgiveness does not in any why belittle the crime against you, nor does it lessen the sadness felt.

 

Forgiveness allows you to experience the sadness without the anger, so that you can truly heal and move on.

 

Please express what you feel about this topic. This is something we all need to understand and experience. So please share your thoughts.

[Heatrae]

Very well said, Crook! I experienced this with my mother back in 1996 and she recently passed away, I am very happy I was able to forgive. I hope a lot of people take your words to heart.

[sisterlynch]

It is hard to give up on the pain that we have grown accustomed to having. Everyone expects you to behave in a certain way, but you need to slow down and make new choices, this is the only way that you'll learn to change and grow.

[swift44]

To me forgiveness is a step towards peace in the world and inner peace, we must learn to forgive others to free our souls from anger and sorrow, we must to follow in Gods glorious footdsteps and learn to forgive as he has done for us. i have a post about this subject, pleez feel free to visit it and reply.[/b]