Petrified about Her...

[confused.fallen]

Hello,well. I have this girl, and I have made, at least by my standards startling progress this year. I never used to be able to talk to people let alone girls in the eye, I'd have to look away from them. Now i can look at their eyes and really get a feel for the person and its made life so much eaiser.Now i find it easy to talk to girls where as before it was merely a pipe dream.

 

My problem is, theres a girl who im crazy about. I know her decently well but nothing major, im at the stage where I can tell what kind of person she is and jsut like, shes smart and funny, caring and loyal friendwise and relationship wise I assume. She dosnt know it but she helped me through a really rough time, like I knew of her before, but it wasnt until my friend took his life that i saw her myspace page and read a poem and realized i kinda liked her. Im not goingn to lie and say im madly in love becasue im not, i dont believe in love at first sight because love is made out of memories in my opinion. But i do care for her plenty and lover her in a plutonic way ( I love all my friends).

 

 

The main problem i have now thouhg is becasue I like her so much I get flustered sometimes. I never have liked somone so much before that i forced myself out of my shell. I think recently she may have read something,( my friend who commited wrote me a letter, i sent this letter to a friend of mine who i think in turn sent it to her) that might have sparked some,feelings or at the very least interest in me. I dont know what to do, how do you know if someone likes you? How can i pursue her or at least talk to her, its not that big a deal to her, im just a friend but i dont want to be just that, I need help badly becasue ive never felt this way before. on top of that there are girls interested in me now that ive come out of my shell that wouldnt have gave me the light of day before. i dont want to shut them down but how do i react to all this changing scenery?

[Alabama]

Okay, first. The girl who you like. A good way to tell someone likes you is by body language. They may stare or get nervous around you. It may not seem obvious, but once you notice the signs, it can become pretty obvious. As for the girls that like you now, I think the best way to deal with that, is if they ask you, just politely turn them down. Don't be rude, and be honest witht them, if you just want to be friends. It may hurt them at first, but they'll heal in time.

[addictedblue]

i can't tell you generally how you know when a girl likes you, because its different for everyone, but i am a girl and when i like a guy i find reasons to talk to him, think about him a lot, stare like the person above said, and also get nervous like you said you do. if she seems to do any of this, she might if not be totally into you, she might be interested. talk to her as much as possible, ask her questions, ask her to go somewhere. show you're interested. she could be waiting for you to ask, you never know. and congrats on coming out of your shell, that's good.

[Taomagicdragon]

You're petrified of her because she is a friend and you'd rather not risk it or are you petified because you've put her on a pedastal?

 

Here's a clue: She's human!

 

She is capable of being as nimwitted and bumbling as you appear to be and for all you know she's feeling the same. Though for all we know you're seeking permission of anonymous people in order to feel like you are allowed to do something... that's why most people ask for advice actually; to get permission and to feel validation in their want to pursue something to drag them out of their present rut.

 

You like her then let her know in your own fashion or pray for the vice versa to be true and that she gets her act together if you're not going to bother.

 

If you're not going to do something with your feelings then there is no point in having them. Unrequited love went out with jousting and the Thirty Years War. Go for it or you shall go for nothing and when you do the latter rest assured you'd get it.

[sparkly]

when i like a guy i get nervous around him, and sometimes i cut him off for whatever reason. i' m like you though i never could really talk to people that i had feelings for and look them in the eye.thats until i met someone with great maturity who wouldn't give me a hard time for it and he knows too because i couldn't have made my feelings anymore obvious.this has made things alot easier. i'll also want to talk to him about anything or i'll go completely silent if i have nothing to say. theres some signs that i like a guy.