Friendly or Interested?

[Aurian]

So... how do you know if someone of the opposite sex is being friendly or might be interested in more? I'm afraid my flirt-o-meter is rather broken and I have absolutely no idea...

[hk87]

The touch you, look into your eyes, make exuses to talk to you, try find you all the time.

Although, some friendly people are very like that. It really depends on the situation

 

Hk87

[atraceofblood]

I find it all boils down to eye contact. If they blush, look everywhere BUT at you, when they FINALLY do connect with your eyes, they have that sheepish WOW factor going on.

 

Wouldn't it be nice if you felt that way about your SO for all time?? would be nice...

 

hmm, sometimes I feel that way, but how do you know that's for reals and not just a temporary infatuation?

[Batya33]

I know only when he asks me out on a proper date he plans in advance. Anything else could be friendly or he could be attracted to me but not interested in dating me. If he's attracted but not interested in dating me I might be slightly flattered but it's something that is irrelevant to me and off my radar. My approach keeps me sane because I do not overthink or analyze all the so-called "signs" of interest - there is only one relevant sign for me.

[Aurian]

So I should stare at guys to see if they blush?

 

And wait for them to ask me out? Eh, not working to well, hey? I've only been asked out on a date ONCE in my life. I think I am pretty friendly, and not too bad to look at either. Maybe I am just sending out friendly signals instead of flirty ones. Few times I asked out a guy... didn't work out too well. Apparently they were just being friendly.

[Lansing]

What exactly is a "proper date". I.e. , if I invite a girl out for coffee, does she know it is a "date" or is she thinking it is a friendly get together? Context: I meet the girl at some event or some place, I get her phone number and say I would like to keep talking with her, I call her up the next night and suggest we get together for a coffee in a few days. She accepts. Is it a "date"? Or.. maybe she just thinks I am friendly? Like, a girl in one of the other forums posted about how she wasn't sure what a guys intentions were who asked her out for a drink. And she wasn't sure if it was "Friendly" or more... (the thread where she didn't know if he had a girlfriend)...

 

 

 

I know only when he asks me out on a proper date he plans in advance.

[Batya33]

If a man asks me out for coffee I don't assume it's an official date but I assume I will learn more when we meet for coffee. There's a fine line of course but if I get invited out during the work day for lunch or coffee I am not certain it's a date - it also depends how and where I met him as to how I gauge what it means. I was once asked to have lunch with someone in my same industry during the day. I thought he meant it to be a business lunch he hoped it would be a date. That was ok - I knew by the end how he meant it (and he didn't assume I knew).

 

If a man I recently met calls me and asks me out for an evening plan I will assume it's a date - because that's not a business thing.

 

when do I assume it - when he calls mid-week or earlier and says "would you like to go to dinner with me on Saturday night?"

 

I would not accept an evening plan since i have a boyfriend unless I clarified his intentions.

[coooolsome]

To make sure the girl knows its a "date", make sure you use the word date, when you are asking her out.

[atraceofblood]

do you have to go out on a "proper date" to start a relationship? lol I have a hard time seeing it "always" work that way. But then again date could mean different things to different people.

[Batya33]

I suppose we could start a relationship just through hanging out where he makes a pass at me - but I would not assume he was interested in a relationship with me until he asked me to be in a relationship with him. If he asks me out on a proper date, and from there we start dating (he keeps asking me out) his intentions are far clearer than if he just asks me to "hang out." If he just asks me to hang out I will assume actually that he's not interested in a relationship with me.

 

Until there is some sort of invitation to spend time that is like a date I will basically assume all stares, comments, flirting means he might be attracted and might be interested in dating me but there is no way to really tell and it is a waste of time to overanalyze when there are men who are willing to step up to the plate and ask me out if they are interested.

[wexmen]

you should carefully sense any unusual thing he has done before like , talk something you find weird such as " one has a such a good girl like you must be very lucky " , '' do you have boyfriend ? do you think i am a good guy or not ? or i am a good lover ''

 

of course, the above statement will be said when you have a steady friendship with him .

[Aurian]

So if he doesn't make big hints, then I assume he's just friendly and not interested?

[Batya33]

So if he doesn't make big hints, then I assume he's just friendly and not interested?

 

I would say if he doesn't ask you to have lunch or coffee, to go for a walk, or out on a date assume he is just friendly - and if he does ask you to coffee, assume he is just being friendly until he tells you otherwise.