Cold Hearted

[raegottamoveon]

I'm new to this site...Hi everyone...Umm...Well my boyfriend or should I say "ex-boyfriend" just broke up with me. We were together for almost two years. I'm only 17, and this has been the longest relationship I've been in. The longest me and this guy have ever broken up "on and off" was 13 hrs. I hope he doesn't call me or contact me saying he wants me back and he's sorry.

 

The funny thing is

 

He just joined the Navy about six months ago right after graduating High school (so its been a long distance thing)

 

He's underway close to Pakistan

 

And yesterday I told him I WAS pregnant but I miscarried

 

He has always wanted to have a child and I kinda figured I was pregnant but by the time I went to the doctor I was miscarrying at no more than a 1 week and 1/2 of pregnancy.

 

I found out I was pregnant on Monday but I didn't tell him right away because the doctor figured I was miscarrying but wasn't sure and I knew my boyfriend would be worried so I decided to wait until the doctor knew for sure I wasn't pregnant before telling him...

 

We've been contacting each other via email because he can't talk on the phones over there...Today when I got home I see an email from him saying "this is bye not talk to you later" all because "I can't give him a child" or "I can't give him what he wants" (quote)...I was just waiting because I knew he would act rash but I didn't know he was this cold hearted. It hurts

 

I've been in and out of the doctor's office and hospital all this week due to the miscarriage and it kinda saddens me that it happened (I feel even worst about then he does even though it wasn't a planned pregnancy), but couldn't he sympathize with me? Yes he could have and I can't believe he just up and left me when I needed him in this most trying time.

 

I'm so angry and upset. I didn't even bother to email him back because I know it'll just fuel him if I respond. I'm pissed and I guess I'm hurt but I don't feel it right now because I'm so mad but it will find me later...

 

I never knew a person could be so cold hearted. I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. Even if he was upset about me losing the child, there was no good reason why I should be treated like that. I think cheating would have been better than this. I'm kinda glad I had that miscarriage because he's immature and ungrateful of the love I've given to him. All my hard work was worth it because it now leaves me with a life's lesson

 

Now I'm going to burn all the he's ever given me so that his vivid memory can be vanquished and maybe it will help my broken heart mend a little better. I don't want anything that relates to him near me (no pictures, no gifts, clothes he bought, NOTHING!)

[The Law]

*hugs* that's a most terrible experience, basically he gave you the cold shoulder, because he drew a line and wanted nothing to have to do with you anymore. Personally i think that thereforeeee the miscarriage is a blessing if you take in aspect that a horrible future which begins with a shattered relationship and you being a single mom ,isn't the best of future to start out with for neither you or your would be child. I would see it as you getting a second chance to meet someone wonderfull in your life to have a child with who truelly DOES care about you, and takes your feelings in aspect. What you have to do now is to find support with your family and friends as wel as in here. i recommend you take theraphy sessions to talk out your problems too.

 

Im a little upset with how the things went , the rule is future first, children later. Basically you went with him, having a child while you weren't married , i doubt you two had a house together, and the relationship wasn't stable. You should definitly first find the stability in your life before you undertake something as important as being a mother. I think you can be a great mother, you just have to get your act together, and make sure to provide the best possible future for yourself, and placing in securities in your life. Because quite personally i hope something horrible as this never happens to you ever again.

[blender]

I know you are hurting so much but now is time for gratitude, God took care of you on this one, all of this happened for a reason so that you may finally see a CLEAR PICTURE OF WHO THIS GUY IS, and thank goodness you didn't put anymore years or energy into this relationship only to find out way later what a coldhearted insensitive man he is.. This is not abot you, this is about him, his lack of character, his immaturity, his cold heart, his issues of jerkiness, that is who has REVEALED HIMSELF TO BE, and YOU would never willingly "choose" to be with a man like this..

 

Good riddens to him, you can now cry, mourn the loss of "who you hoped' he could be, and instead grow and be in acceptance of "who is actually is" and that guy does not deserve your love, or energy

[Survictor]

Lucky escape!

[chai714]

Rae,

 

Sorry to hear about your loss. My sister miscarried last year and it was an emotional experience for her and her husband. I can't imagine going through this alone - hopefully you've shared this with your family or friends.

 

It sounds like your boyfriend wasn't even a decent person. He offered no sympathy and told you bye through an email? You can't get much worse than the way he acted toward you. Meanwhile, write him off and out of your life forever. I think it's wise to burn all memories of him if it makes you feel better.

 

Hang in there.

[agent1607307371]

raegottamoveon, as cold as it sounds, 1 in 4 pregnancies miscarry before the woman even knows she is pregnant and many women miscarry multiple times before managing to carry to term. Your ex sounds like an absolute b****** with no idea of the realities of having children and what goes with it. You are well rid.

 

That said, take care of yourself, as your hormones might be a bit woozy for a while - do nice things for yourself that make you feel good. If there is someone you can talk to about this, who is closer to you than an messageboard, do. No amount of strangers sympathising is as good as a hug.