I cant stop crying...comfort me

[naughtycowgirl]

Hey guys...me and my boyfriend have been arguing for 2 wks now and we are now taking a break. and i have cried for 6 days and i am so confused. i love him so much and dont know what to do. he says he dont think this being apart is gonna take long cause he already misses me. but i am still upset and confused. his ex girl has been calling since this whole ordeal and i am real scared please comfort me and talk to me. tell me what to do

[Cloud802]

I don't think anyone can tell you what to do, all another person can do is give you their advice. First, what have the arguments been like, is he just making a big deal out of something not that important, and why has his ex been calling?

[Survictor]

Sorry to hear you are so down and feeling insecure.

 

You do really need to sort out the problem you are arguing over. I also wonder if it was he who initiated the break and whether he is simply mollifying you. I am sure you suspect much of the same thing and I am sorry that will upset you to hear it from someone objective.

 

I think you should step back a little or ask your b/f to give you the courtesy of his honesty at least.

[naughtycowgirl]

he says he hasnt been the same person lately and he isnt happy. i told him to take this break if it is that important. i said if your gonna let me down, let me down easy. and if your gonna be with me make me stop crying. so he brought me my horse home today and talked to me and told me to stop crying and not to worry he has just got to figure himself out and reassure hiself of some things. so i said okay. he was happy to day but he started crying when i couldnt stop. so he cried with me. he told me he didnt know how much he cared about me until he saw me break down today. so i really dont know. i am upset but i am happy and reassured just a little that he might not break up with me. i never had anyone care about me like he has and he is the best i ever had. so tell me what you think

[kellbell]

Hey there naughty,

 

Is this same guy that is 7 years older than you?

[naughtycowgirl]

no he is 19 and i am 15 he will be turning 20 here soon and i will be 16 here soon also

[need2bme]

Um, 19 & 15? Regardless of age of consent (and I have been slammed for posting my feelings about this before), should you even be worried about him? I always believe that anyone over the age of 18, should not date a 15 year old. It just seems wrong.

 

That being said, you are young and there are so many guys out there. Really. I see them out there all the time. I even spent time wondering if we are all in a club, where are all the girls.

 

Look, I understand how you feel and hate that you are crying about it. My daughter seems to have a new guy beating down her door every other day.

 

Let it play out. Do you have any friends, guys or girls, to hang out with?

[Survictor]

Is it possible that he feels terrible for making you cry and you are manipulating him a little with your tears? Please do think about this because if you are, the aim of 'keeping him' this way will eventually destroy any relationship you do have.

[Cloud802]

need2beme is right, I know you love him but you might fall out of love with him. He is almost twenty and you're just starting High school.

[naughtycowgirl]

yeah ya'll are right but i dont care about the age. age of consent here in alabama is 16 so it is pretty much legal. but i will post later on tonight when he calls me and let you know what is going on thank you guys so much i feel a tad bit better

[kellbell]

Ah,

 

I see. Well, perhaps you both were spending too much time together causing you both to fight so much. Was your fighting like "nit-picking" or was it over major things?

 

Perhaps a few days apart will help things a lot.

 

(((hugs)))

[kellbell]

"age of consent here in alabama is 16 so it is pretty much legal."

Well, pretty much legal and WHAT IS legal are very different things. You are still 14, yes I know you are almost 15 but still, you have ANOTHER year until you are 16.

 

But in any case, I feel a small break might do some good, give you both a chance to cool your heals.

[naughtycowgirl]

no i am 15. fixin to be 16... yeah i think a few days apart will help alot and yea some of the time it was major things. and some of it was small things.

[kellbell]

Ah, I see. Like I wrote before, a break might be a good thing.

[need2bme]

"Fixin'". What a funny word. I grew up in the South so it is nice to hear (see) someone use it.

[naughtycowgirl]

yeah i was raised and born in the south. Never left it either. well anyways we are taking the break and he like wont stop coming and seein me. he stopped by again today to see me. i mean he was happy and all but the meaning of a break is not seein one another and i am confused. so tell me about that one. He has called me and came and seen me but like i said he was happy. and he was goofin off. but what was the meanin of a break when you still see one another?

[Survictor]

I would request a clean break for the time being.

[naughtycowgirl]

well explain what that means

[BeStrongBeHappy]

a break usually means not seeing each other or dating at all, that you are not boyfriend/girlfriend anymore and he can see other people if he wants to. and that you may or may not get back together.

 

are you sure he is not using this break to see or date another girl? i would just be sure that he didn't just ask for this break so that he could date someone else and not feel guilty about it, but still see you too.

 

it really doesn't make sense to declare you two are on a break when you see each other all the time... i would ask him what exactly he wants from this break, and why he asked for it.

[Ninako]

yeah ya'll are right but i dont care about the age. age of consent here in alabama is 16 so it is pretty much legal. but i will post later on tonight when he calls me and let you know what is going on thank you guys so much i feel a tad bit better

 

 

Just relax. If he says he needs some time to figure things out, and you havent broken up yet, then the best thing you can do is be supportive of him. Its possible he may still talk to his ex, and she may know whats going on. Remember, its also possible she still has feelings towards him & may try to take advantage of the situation. OR, like in most cases, she may really just be there supporting him as well. Sometimes when people go through these situations, they turn to others instead of you for advice. This is where you need to be strong & show him that you are there to support him. Dont try to put him on a guilt trip because that will only bring him back to you out of pity, and you both dont need that. You two should be together with no strings attached. Remember, he's putting forth the effort to talk to you & still see you. You two should talk things out, even until your blue in the face until your both satisfied with your answers. They may not be the answers you like, but if you have quesitons, ask them. As for the age difference, I believe love will find all types of couples, despite their age.However, When its a definate gap, there WILL be some eyebrows raised, but the only thing I say on it is, he needs to be sure as well as you, that your capable of such a commitment. He's in college, and your still young. You still have a life ahead of you with many things yet to learn. If you want him as your life, thats ok, but dont forget to enjoy yourself and your friends as well & enjoy growing up!!! Just remember to be strong, and dont force anything, you may regret it in the long run.