is she crazy or am i?

[hoppy26]

my god my ex is crazy. i had to "enlighten" her on asking me to get into bed last weekend at a party. she was waisted to the point she cant even remember asking me. this past weekend i find out she has a boyfriend for the last month. she has been telling me all kinds of things like "i want to be with you...just i cant right now". etc. the list goes on. im got to the point i had to tell her i will not stand for her dishonesty and manipulating me anymore. she has the nereve to think she is not? who's nuts here?

she outright said to me "i dont want a boyfriend right now" and yet she has had one. she isw freeking crazy in my book. if thats not decieving someone i dont know what is. do you think this girl trully gives a crap about me or respects me at all? i dont. how come she cant just tell me the truth? why does she beat around the bush? i told her i didnt want people like this in my life. did i do the right thing? she is only causing me alot of anger and disgust. i need reosurrance ive done the right thing here.

she obviosly isnt a good friend anyway.

[crookster_man]

She sounds like bad new for you. So why didn't you take up the opportinuty? I would always hop in the sack with an ex, for some jollies. Even the ones that screwed me over. It's some good times, but I guess if you are still grieving right now then it is best to avoid such situations.

 

Anyways, to address your question. If you feel that she is a negative influence in your life then you did the right thing. If you looking for reassurance, you have found it. I don't know if she is nuts or just a little confused about the situation. I'm sure in her mind; everything that she says and does is completely normal and makes sense.

 

Remember, there are two sides to every story. Not that your side is any less important or correct. Just that, your Ex wouldn't see herself in the same light you see her in. I doubt she sits there and says, "Boy, I'm quite the nutter!"

 

That being said, you made it quite clear to her (and you) that you do not what people in your life who lie, betray and manipulate. She is someone who either consciously or unconsciously proscribes these methods. So if you want to stand up for what you believe in, I would advise you stick by your ethics.

 

You have no one to answer to accept yourself. If you aren't happy with your self and your choices, you will be living a pretty sad life. So stick by your guns and stick by your morals. They are the only guide to living you have. If you break your own rules, it may not hurt anyone else, but you will know.

[Suavo]

Want her back? Stick that pride of yours up your ass. Basically, do this, tell her that you understand why'd she break up with you and become friends with her. Be A GOOD friend and always make your consversations with her small but nice. She obviously wants to be with you and misses you a lot so, give her space. She'll be crawling back to you. Support her and she'll see that you're trying to make her happy. As to deal with her bf; he'll eventually get jealous of you two together and problems will arise > Date again, as this will crush her ego and will see you as boyfriend material for her once again. Oh yeah, always agree with her as that's the quickest way to her heart. 8)

[crookster_man]

Hmm, that's good advice if you are looking to sell yourself out. Sometimes you have to read between the lines, when someone asks for advice. Do they really want the answer to that question or are they asking another deep question that needs addressing.

 

Things like "swallow your pride, crush her ego, cause problems in the relationship..." Are not things you probably want to be advising people to do? Would you do the same? Just a thought.

[hoppy26]

want her back..............no!!!! what i want is for her to realise how she has hurt me. she left me hanging without any real good reason why she left.

all she says is "i dont know why...i just freaked out". in the next sentence shellay "i never stopped loving you". in the next sentence shell say something like "i want to be with you just not right now". after that shell say "im crazy right now.....for your own good move on". ok??? my question is..........if you guys/girls were being told things that would believe you to think they wanted to recinddle things.........then they say and do things of the total opposite wouldnt you feel alittle decieved, manipulated and lied to? remember from the start she stated she "just needs a break....dont you think it would be good for us". what is good about a break? it has done nothing but cause alot of hurt and heartache.

whats good about her giving herself to another man during this so called break? is this girl playing me for a dumby? i need help. she says she has been upfront with me from the start. is telling someone you need a break and then acouple months later she has a boyfriend being upfront and honest? i didnt think so. any other thoughts. at this point i dont want this girl back. im still in shock from her actions. but she is a differant person i dont reall want to be with. ive cut ties with her completely for the second time in 5 months. i feel ive done the right thing. would you guys allow someone to do this to you. why does she not feel that she is doing anything wrong at all??????????? shes driving me crazy.

[Suavo]

If you want someone back, you'll have to forget about the harm that is done. Dating again, not only does it boost YOUR ego, let's the pressure off her back. Her ego? She doesn't want you loving her, so do that for her. she dumped you and she should have expected this. Causing problems? Heh, if her boyfriend has some jealousy issues, he doesn't deserve her. He should be happy regardless if that person is with another. All this is meant for her to see that you're someone to be attracted to. If she doesn't after all that you've done, you'll be able to move on seeing that she wasn't the person you thought she was. Oh, of course, the time of giving her space is to find "yourself" before the relationship so she may fall in love with you again. Right now, she probably thinks of you as someone very dependant on her(a loser in her eyes) and she see's that as only pressure to get back with you.

[reborn]

Hoppy,

You sound really hurt right now. You actually sound outraged. It sounds like you feel you have been treated unfairly by this girl. I had my ex boyfriend do a short comeback telling me he loved me and then hours later practically telling me he loved me as a family member. Ex{s sometimes act very amvibalent, unfortunately by she telling you all this things and then seeing someone else meanwhile she has really broken your trust and inflicted a wound on you.

I think you have been deeply hurt by this person. It doesn{t sound like you are ready or willing to have her back in your life right now. It sounds like she may have "I want to be back with hoppy" feelings flying around in her mind from time to time, yet her actions are not consistent with her words. And you know that old saying: Actions speak louder than words...

I think people and those in the position of having dumped their ex act very selfishily sometimes. I don{t understand what the heck happens in their heart or mind, but sometimes act as if they didn{t realize or forget that people have feelings. I think the dumped need special consideration, after all we carry the burden of the most painful emotions in a breakup as rejection, no matter how you see it hurts like hell. On top of that we often have to put up or be subjected to the mind/heart fickleness of our exs. whatever! not fair!

I think you have to take care of your heart now. Though you sound a bit bewildered, I think you have taken the right course of action for you to have no contact. This person{s actions have hurt you deeply, and even disgust you. Keep out of harms way, take care of your self. And find someone who really loves and appreciates you and won{t be with someone else behind your back. You don{t deserve any less than that.

Best of luck to you. Hope this helped.

-Reborn