scared for sex

[GirlGreen]

i admit it. i am a virgin. and i now have a boyfriend that i love and that i believe i want to lose my virginity to. he is not a virgin and he deffinitly wants to have sex but the thing is, i am very nervous. i am scared that it will hurt a lot and the thing is, even when he fingers me, sometimes it hurts. what can i do to not be so nervous about this? i just want to keep putting it off because i am nervous even though i know i am ready.

[4ever]

i think it sounds like you are not completely ready for it. when you are you wont be that nervous.

if you are not ready then dont let it happen no matter how much HE wants it.

[gfein347]

I agree with 4ever. Though it's completely understandable to be a little nervous, being as nervous as you are means you probably aren't as ready as you think. Have you talked to your boyfriend about how you feel?

[Layword]

I'd wait til marriage, but maybe i'm just old fasioned.

[southerngirl]

Well, dont do anything until you are fully ready to do it.

 

Also make sure you use birth control. Possibly go to the health department in your area, or planned parenthood and seek out birth control pills. This way you are protected against pregnancy.

 

This however, wont protect against sexually transmitted infections and deseases so also be sure to use condoms. You can buy these at any pharmacy or grocery store. Use them if you do have sex. Everytime you have sex.

 

Just to be nosy, and keep in mind this is anonymous here so feel free to talk openly about it

 

How long have you been dating your boyfriend and how old is he? You are 17 right?

[gfein347]

Wow, I overlooked your age when I posted my first reply. At 17, I don't think you're quite ready to have sex. I'm only 18, and I personally feel that teenagers have no business having sex. However, if you do decide that you're ready, please be safe!!

[Cardinal]

I'd work to become more comfortable with your partner first. Some couples like to get used to oral sex and spend time getting comfortable with each others bodies before starting intercourse. That might benefit you. Contrary to what other posters say, it seems like you are there mentally, but you are concerned about it hurting? If you have never been significantly penetrated, would using a dildo help get you used to being filled up? A lot of it could be first time jitters and nerves.

 

I don't know many women whose first time was completely and totally painless. It takes some getting used to.

[musicguy]

I would wait until you are really ready to have sex with him and he should respect that you are not ready yet.