Any advice for this over thinker??

[ignited83]

hello everyone...

 

just wondering what you guys think of my situation to date and any possible advice that can be passed along my way.

 

after about a 6 week absense from eachother 3 weeks of it being NC ive now been seeing my ex for the past coupld weeks, doing things like going for lunch, taking her to school, we've done the deed a couple times, and last night we went out for martini's... about 90% of the time spent together is her asking me to come out and see her. we've done other things such as shoping going for coffees and we do quite a bit of kissing and hugging.

But this has me perplexed due to the fact that when i first started seeing her she told me not to get the wrong impression, that she doesnt want to get back together. that we should take it slow, but in 2 weeks ive seen her about 10 out of the 14 days 2 weeks has to offer.

 

i always keep things light and happy, i make her laugh like no other, but she always notices when im a little upset, usually when i take her home cause i dont want her to leave i guess, cause im so happy around her.

 

i no theres another guy that is really interested in her, but she doesnt want anything to do with him appearently, he doesnt get the hint. and she seems to want to hang out with me and wants me to go over to her place above anyone else, excpet for when she goes out to party with her friends, last night being an acception, which i gotta say, it caught me off guard.

 

anyways, im just wondering something. why is she wanting to spend so much time with me now? after ive been such a jerk to her during the 6 weeks of not seeing her or talking to her? plus the 3 weeks of NC..... and is it possible that her feelings could have changed in the span of 2 weeks? being that she said she doesnt want to jump into anything..... and shes just to shy/scared to say something being that she was the one to dump me.....? i dont really want to push the question on her or get into details like that cause im scared it will push her away. but at the same time i kinda wonder if she is just using me.....? so many thoughts go threw my head and i have this problem of really over thinking thing......

 

thanks in advance......

[nadine_3110]

I know you don't want to push her, but I think you should start talking to her about what's going on. She can't just use you like that. You're making the effort of bringing her out and going to see her and so on, but is it leading to anything more? Do you want to get back together with her? It sounds like you do with all the kissing and hugging, but make sure that's what you really want. And tell her that it's not fair for her to lead you.

Good luck!

[ignited83]

the reason why i say i was a jerk is because i was a jerk lol i know i was, i said a lot of mean things to her, and i was rude to her, cause i would talk to her online and give lots of attitude, then from one day to the next i just stoped. something in my head clicked.

 

yes i do want to get back with her, i did the NC for 3 weeks to step back and clear my head and work on myself. she can see that im different from what i was like before at the end of our relationship. and ive taken lots of time to really think things threw as in if i really do want her back, and i cant see myself with anyone else but her. i no shes scared to commit again... fear of me falling back to the way i was, and no trust according to her due to the fact she says i wasnt there for her enough. i try my hardest to not kiss her and sometimes im strong enough not to, she will kiss me but i dont kiss back or i move away. and both times that we had sex was started by her.

 

i agree things shot off to fast, she wanted to take it slow and like i said both times having sex she started things, and 90% of the time its her asking me to come over, go shoping, go for lunch etc.....

 

i think i will force a slow down for a bit, not be there for her so much, get her to miss me a bit, and see what that does for me.....