I cut quite a bit

[musicguy]

I usually use a plastic knife or something just to bleed. I don't cut deep because I'm not a fan of a lot of pain...but anyway, I always seem to cut when it involves girls or relationships. I showed some people at work my cuts and even some online friends with my camphone and now some of those friends don't talk to me anymore. I dunno, it's hard to stop.

[stillwantinhim]

i dont think thats a good thing to do maybe you should talk to someone and get some help maybe you need a friend posting your problems can help get what ever you are thinking about off your mind....stop before you kill your self

[musicguy]

I want to kill myself though

[stopit]

Everyone has their own reason to cut: there are different types of cutters. If you're not in it for the pain, what exactly are you trying to achieve? Do you want to make your emotional pain tangible by transferring it onto your skin? Do you want to take control of your body by inflicting pain on yourself? Think to what events trigger it and explain a little more in depth.

 

Cutters may be suicidal, but they resort to cutting in an attempt to ward off their suicidal urges. It's impulsive behavior, but not quite as extreme, and hence satisfies the need to "do something." Though of course, this varies from person to person which brings us back to why you cut. In any case, cutting is a defense mechanism and the fact that you pursue it shows a willingness to live. But in order to help you further, you need to give more info.

 

I'm concerned about your motivations for telling people that you cut. You're clearly not telling people you can trust, but the question is why? Do you want to impress them or something? If you just show someone you don't trust your cuts, due to the stigma surrounding cutting you're going to get far from positive results. And to show people at work your cuts is another story. It's concerning because you need people to support you right now, even if your impulses tell you to push them away. Isolating yourself isn't the solution.

[musicguy]

I've been cutting since I was 13...my parents divorced back then, my brother left and my dad was hardly around when I was growing up AND girls/relationships make me wanna cut a lot, just because I keep on getting screwed over by them because I'm a nice guy and I'm being myself

[doyathink]

Have you tried the rubber band around the wrist thing yet?

[AngelEyez]

If your intention isn't to kill yourself, then I don't see why you would cut yourself. If you wanted to kill yourself, you wouldn't use a plastic knife. I used to use broken glass. I felt like I wanted to kill myself, but I could never just do it. It was too painful. Blood on the carpet, mom would probably complain [just a joke]...Anyways, my ex-boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago...and I went to OD on my anti-depressants. I didn't take TOO many pills, of course, because I'm still alive typing this post.

 

I just finally realized that I shouldn't sacrifice my life just because things aren't working out for me. Life sucks. Nothing is fair. 99% of the time you won't get what you want. You have to accept the facts and move on. In my opinion, I'll keep myself alive to help others. I like helping people and seeing people happy. I'll live for temporary happiness. It seems like if I'm happy it only lasts a week or so. Then everything just screws up. It's bound to happen.

 

Musicguy, your friends probably stopped talking to you because they think you only want attention by showing your cuts. I don't know if this is your intention or not, but most people in this world don't give a damn, and they don't want to get involved. I know, because I've lost friends like this too. People are just selfish.

[unface]

I showed some people at work my cuts and even some online friends with my camphone .

 

Why do you show people?

[Newo Ikkin]

Why do you show people?

 

I was about to ask the same thing. I respect your situation, but I dont quite understand that.

[musicguy]

I don't know why i showed them. I wanted people to care

[NKP]

yeah i understand that.

 

How about like DYT said the rubber band around you wrist

 

Or an ice cub hold it in you hand as hard as you can

 

Exercise, go for a walk, bike ride, run, jog, swim, etc

 

Do something for yourself, buy something, or so something you enjoy

 

Talk to someone, let them know how you feel

 

life sucks and life will always suck if you never get help

[musicguy]

i write poetry and play my guitar. I do talk to people, but they seem to think that I'm a freak or get turned away cuz i talk about hurting myself everyday

[Survictor]

That's a pretty dark place you're in at the moment and it is obvious that you are crying out for help and attention.

 

However, you will get attention but it will be negative and then you will use that negative to turn it around to get what you want from a person and they will feel manipulated and back off???? Perhaps this is why they think you are a freak?

 

If you want attention and you want people to care then you need to start thinking about that rather than focusing on all the negative aspects in your life. Look to the things that are good about you and show that instead of your self inflicted wounds.

[musicguy]

I'm trying to, but it seems like people like to tell me the negative things, than the positive things about me

[stopit]

For the longest time I thought pain was beautiful. For the longest time I admired the blood that spilled from cuts because it felt so real. It only felt so real because it was disgusting, from the flap of open skin, the acrid smell of blood, the texture of blood as it congeals, to the very heat of blood... And in a way, it is beautiful, but only because it's so uncommon and "unique."

 

But cutting is not a healthy expression of pain. It's shocking and appalling - you're not going to get recognized for being a good cutter. You can transfer your pain to other areas, any of the arts (as you said, music and poetry). That will get you attention, and people will respect you for it.

 

You've had a lonely history, but cutting doesn't make you any more real or "valid" a person. It doesn't make you more visible to others and it won't make you friends. It does exactly the opposite and pushes everyone away (it's much more self destructive than most people would imagine). I think you know that talking to people about hurting yourself is going to push them away and make them judge you, but it seems like you do it either consciously or unintentionally to drive them away. Work on being more social - you're a talented person and people will admire you for that.

 

Also, work on coping techniques - writing, music, even aggressive things like certain sports. Being apathetic towards yourself won't help - you need to do something physical and concrete in order to ease the pain. Everyone handles things differently; you just have to make sure that you're actually handling it and not avoiding the issue (e.g. through cutting).

[doyathink]

Musicguy, I think you need to start talking to lost&broken. She knows what you are going through and can be a lot of help for you. Listen to what she says has helped her, it may help you too.

 

Showing ppl what you do is going to mark you in their mind, they will think you are a freak.....thats been proven. There are other ways to get someones attention and this isn't one of them. Are you showing a positive persona? Maybe you are giving a negitive image about yourself.

 

You are crying out for help, attention and love. Try showing help, attention and love to someone and see if it's reciprocated. Please try to stop inflicting pain on yourself, try a different approach.

[musicguy]

the thing is. I don't cut all the time, just once and awhile. I get tattoos as my therapy

[doyathink]

See, thats the kind of thing to NOT say for positive attention. Who else do you know who says that sort of stuff?

[AngelEyez]

If these friends stop talking to you when you show your cuts...they are obviously not TRUE friends...On the other hand, I don't think you should show your cuts just to get people to care...The fact is...most people DON'T care because it's not happening to them...I'm sure if you asked your relatives for help...they would help you because they love you.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Musicguy, attention can make you feel so great and like your finally loved for the first time. But thats the good attention, when you have done something great and not something that will bring you down. People turn their backs cuz they don't understand and many people don't want to. As the others have said put your talents to use don't waste them. No one expects you to be perfect. Please its obvious you want help or you wouldn't be posting on here. So go out there get help and then you might just be able to be the person you want to be!

[doyathink]

It's not always that ppl dont want to help, it's that they don't know how. Most ppl have no idea why someone would cut themselves let a lone show them the cuts. They may be speechless.

[stopit]

the thing is. I don't cut all the time, just once and awhile. I get tattoos as my therapy

 

Then you have to evaluate what events trigger your actions. If you're not doing it all the time, then there's something in you that's preventing you from cutting. Tap into that. Use that for your benefit. You need to realize that cutting isn't going to get you positive attention or friendships. Why do you think cutters live in shame and wonder once they stop cutting how to hide their scars? It's the last thing you should be proud of, and to idealize cutting as some sort of therapy is not going to help you in the long run.

[musicguy]

I didn;t do any cutting today cuz i was in my recording studio recording the band I manage and that was really fun

[doyathink]

Thats wonderful MG, keep focusing on the positives in your life....

[musicguy]

I'm trying