How do you find hope?

[terk2021]

Most of us that post out here have gone through some form of loss, mostly in a relationship. For some of us, we thought it was with the person we were going to spend the rest of our lives with.

 

Especially around holiday times, it makes it that much harder. For me, I have been spending time with family and friends, and actually started dating again. I suppose I have come a long way since where I was 4 months ago, but I would like to hear your stories as to how you moved on, got your strength, and find yourself living a happy life again.

 

Happy Holidays to ALL!!!

[Survictor]

It took a long time for me. I took time to be my own person and to ensure that I also considered my own needs, not just the other person's. I became stronger, I think. It was about 2 years before I began another relationship, though I did date during that time. It was nothing serious.

 

Many people determine your success as a person as having a good relationship. Your life is a success in many different ways and is not reliant on being just half of a couple. Firstly, you need to focus on becoming whole again.

 

xxx

[Relationship Coach]

Finding hope is easy, it's called lying to yourself and not seeing things as they really are! Getting rid of this crutch called hope is the hard part because you have to first admit to yourself that it is over for good as in forever! How can you possibly heal and move forward when you injury yourself daily thinking about them? Once you see hope as crutch and not a comfort tool, you'll be better. Too many people refuse to move forward because if they do they have accepted that it's over with and many cannot face the ugly truth.

 

Yes the holidays can be hard if that is how you choose to view them or you can do productive and bring some happiness to others. Go volunteer at a shelter, donate your time to those less fortunate and see how hope should be used. They hope they get a meal that day or they hope their baby gets that badly needed medicine. You see I believe in hope as it pertains to life, not love. I hope this helped you.

 

RC

[iwishiknew]

My hope is getting a gf for the first time...Its not easy

[LilPixie]

I have been hit with a waive of sadness in the past week as well.

I was doing great - it's been 5 months.

Unfortunately the holidays bring all the memories back.

 

After my divorce I started going to church - I wasn't religious before.

It helps me a lot. I also started working on new projects. Helping other people helps too.

 

I am not holding on to any hopes - he cheated so what's done is done.

Someone told me the other day that I need to face the death of my marriage and mourn it accordingly. Only then I would be able to move on....

 

I don't know...I am not sure when and how it gets better. I am still waiting and mourning accordingly.

[sandyv]

As for me, Sandy, I'm at a loss as to what to do in regards to the holidays, never mind the weekends etc........ Since I lost Jack I'm extremely sad... and it doesn't matter what happened, (he was an A**hole but I do miss him) and don't have any idea how to carry on......

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

It is about cutting your losses.

 

I hope to move towards a new life and new beginning.

[surviveitall]

I don't know about anyone else, but this weekend I just had a total meltdown and feel like I'm back at square one again. Uggh!

[Orlander]

Yeah, we are bound to get a lot of holiday related posts in the next few weeks and with good reason...holidays kick our butts!!

 

If you want to read about someone who truly understood the meaning of the word "hope" do some research on Sir Ernest Shackleton.

 

Orlander

[hjc]

I found mine through meeting someone who has knocked my socks off - see this thread.

 

I was absolutely certain I wouldn't find anyone as amazing as my ex...well I'm reviewing that. Not saying you have to find it through other people, you just have to be open to the fact that things will get better...

[Survictor]

Try putting your faith in yourself more than you do others. Don't look to another person to make your life better, that's up to you! Work on what your great qualities are rather than your negative ones. Put a lively song on and say "fuc* it." Shrug your worries aside, square your shoulders and plough through.

 

I have been known to dance crazily around the room in order to banish my blues and release my anger and frustration.

 

It works good! lol.

[smiles21]

That was a great post.. RC you are an inspiration to how I would like to be someday. You truly are wise.