Wife Found Out.

[insecure246]

its been about 3 months since i last cut. thought the urge has been there, very strongly, MANY TIMES... i resisted. But last night my wife and i got into a fight and i was worried, angry, confused, and it was overwhelming and i cut. I tried to hide it from her, but she saw it later on that night. We had been separated for the last 10 months then just got back together, read my post in the marriage board for that story... and i started cutting while we were apart. I told her that I had done it and she didn't really have anything to say about it. I think she didn't believe me. Well, now she knows, and she says that shes upset about it, but i'm afraid that shes mad at me and that shes going to leave me if i dont stop. she said that if i do it again were over. maybe this is just a scare tactic to get me to stop, but im worried and want to do it more now than i did before. i tried to explain to her why i do it and how it helps, but i know she doesnt get it and i dont know what to do.

 

any advice?

[StaceyMay]

Well I do not really know much about your situation nor the reasoning behind the impulses you get to cut yourself. So with that said I will offer my best advice.

 

Maybe you should get some counseling to deal with this because what you're doing is not healthy at all.

 

I can understand your spouse being upset, it probably scares her and she worries about you.

 

Maybe the two of you could talk first and then visit a couselor for this matter. I would suggest couseling for just you alone first and then maybe after a few sessions, the two of you.

 

Good Luck!

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Maybe by saying that its just 'scare tactic to get me' to stop i dont think that would happin as she is your wife she is just genrally worried about you as she loves you.

Talk to her about it more.If she loves you as she says she does then she should understand

[insecure246]

i'm in therapy and have been for several months now. i talked to her more about it and she said that if i do it again shes going to leave me because she doesnt want to be with me if im unstable. i said that it isnt hurting anyone and she said its hurting everyone like our son, and her, and my family.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Ok mate i think firstly you have to get help, if not for yourself for the wife that loves you and that you obviously love. I don't know her so i don't know if it is a scar tactic but i do believe someone would leave someone over this... I do understand how you feel and how it helps darl, please though get yourself out of this hole. Get the help you need to cope with things in a better way then cutting. Because all it does is hurt you more and more, and ruin relationships. Please be strong and fight those urges.

[insecure246]

I started seeing a therapist a few months ago before we decided to get back together and started addressing the cutting issue, etc. Before I started therapy I started on meds. I went through Zoloft and Wellbutrin before settling on my current 40mg. of Lexapro.

 

Alot of things have happened lately. read here to see.

 

 

 

I just want to get through this in one piece. I want things to be like they used to. I want her to be with me because she wants to be, not because I'm her safety net but all the while she's longing to be with this other guy. errrr....

 

I want to die. I hate myself for creating this situation and for ever hurting her and for putting her in this place. I can't be mad at her because the only reason she feels this way is because I screwed everything up and gave her the opportunity to feel this way. I hate myself and everything that I am and do. The urge to hurt myself is becoming stronger with every breath that I take.

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Oh babe dont give up and dont hurt yourself.If you do give up she is going to be so hurt as she loves you.Its good about the counciling thing but keep on trying!