Urgent, Will deal with person tomorrow night

[nubspeace]

2 wks. ago my boyfriend of 4mos. broke up w/me. For 3-4 wks. he was holding in info that he had got from his daughters mother; daughter (5yrs old), mother re-married w/3yr. old, just friends with my boyfriend, she is a very nice girl, have met her and get along good. She told my boyfriend that their daughter told her that he and I were getting married, and had said it a few times. Well, in the past 3-4 wks. i could tell he was pulling away and being distant and would not tell me what was on his mind.

 

My reaction (mistakenly) was to be more clingy feeling he was slipping away. Now due to him not sharing what he knew with me, he had 3-4 wks. to analyze and look at everything i did and say through different eyes. He finally confronted me with it on the 'breakup night' and I told him it was deffinatly not true that i would NEVER go to the child behind his back and talk about that and that also we had not even said i love you to each other yet. We did come to the conclusion because he said his daughter adores me that she was just saying what she wants or thinks would naturally happen. But since he had this info for 3-4 wks. He started bringing up how i had been acting recently and i tried to explain it was cause i knew something was going on but he wouldn't say. Anyway.. relationship over.

 

Now we have some mutual friends and when invited recently to my b-day party he didn't want to go so i didn't get the wrong idea. But since then i've had to deal with him cause he was in the middle of fixing my truck and getting my things and he has been all smiles and overly friendly and wanting to get me something for my b-day or take me out to lunch. (me confused). Seems very talkative and happy to see me when he see's me and i'm now thinking he was afraid things were going to fast and ran the other way. He did say the breakup night that he had feelings for me and cared alot and would do anything for me but didn't think he had the feelings he should have by now. (it's only been 4mos). Now again this was him lookin at me through different eyes with the info he had.

 

I've since acted very aloof and extremely happy and like it didn't bother me when i see him. Wed. night 11/22 he is coming over to put up sheet rock i needed done for my b-day gift. Seem very into coming over. Should i mention that i'm glad we are friends at all? should i just act like friends and not say anything? should i call him again after tomorrow...how will he know i'm still interested if we don't talk?

[agent1607307371]

I don't think you should do anything. Just the fact that he is coming over and doing these things for you, after breaking up with you, says a lot.

 

He ran because he freaked out about the level of commitment he thought you wanted from him so be cool, don't talk about how much you like being his friend or ring to see how he is or he'll possibly freak again.

You need to let him calm down and see what he is missing.

[need2bme]

Agreed. He likes you, don't know how much, but he does. Just be cool. Protect yourself a little.

 

Also, people like the chase. He may be scared of commitment, but just show him what you are made of. If you don't want a marraige commitment right now, then don't sweat it. Just let him know you care and don't need marraige right away. You can do that without directly telling him.

 

Above anything else, don't set yourself up for hurt.

[dogheadma]

The fact that he didn't say anything to you about what his daughter said and just let it cook in his brain without asking you about it was a mistake on his part, but everyone makes mistakes. I agree with the others; it seems like he likes you but you should definitely take things slow at this point for your own sake.