New here, I need some serious input

[Ren2003]

First of all let me say, I am glad I found this place. I really dont want to talk to anybody about this in person, except on an anonymous level.(like here) This may be a little long..but I really anticipate your responses.

 

Ok heres the situation... I am head over heels about this guy I work with at my office. (ok..we can call it a crush..but I hate that word at my age)

Anyway, He works on the nightshift, I work dayshift. I see him every day though..because our schedules run into each other.

Anyway, when he started about 2.5 years ago, I noticed him...thought he was cute. But really didnt think much of it. I said Hello every once in a great while, because I really didnt know him.

 

Well, just a few short months ago..(around May) I went to see his band play. I had a really good time and I was VERY impressed with him. Still though, I thought nothing of it. I knew he was cute, pretty friendly..etc.

The next day though, he came up to me and thanked me for coming. For some reason, that was like the bell that went off.

Since then, we talk on a daily basis. We have actually become friends in these past few months. We talk about everything now. On his bday I gave him a nice card. Nothing too personal.. just something that I know he would like.

I feel we have ALOT in common. I mean ALOT!!! Hes alot of fun.

Someone actually told me once that he is a very private person. If that is so, why does he tell me alot of things about his life?

Ive seen his band play now, numerous times... each time I go, he makes sure he comes and talks to me for at least 5 minutes or so before he plays.

Its soo cute, hes such a different person while playing in his band.. very outgoing..etc. At work, he is very quiet..bookwormy type. Not handsome.. but most definitely cute!!

Hes told me a couple things that no one else supposedly knows. I feel so honored.

 

Ok.. now here are some things...

He has an on/off again relationship with his girlfiend. From what I understand she made his life miserable for awhile back in the winter. Well, he is back with her again...even though she fought with him at his last show.

I dont want to go too much into my personal life.. I just want to say that it would be a very big decision for me if I ever DID have a chance with this guy.

 

I want to say a couple things though...Its almost strange the way I feel about him. My best friend actually told me that she says its very scary at how much he looks like he is my type. (we are not kids here..we are in our late 20's) She KNOWS my type.

I think I am starting to obsess over him. Now this is NOT good.

I SHOULDNT be doing this.

But, I truly believe for SOME reason we met and became friends. There IS a reason for this. Theres gotta be.

Some days I try not to act too desparate in front of him, so sometimes its just a casual "Hi ***"

I could have sworn he was being a bit flirty with me this past week.. but maybe he was just being friendly.

Heres another big problem... Im always told Im pretty.. Im blonde and Oh and I have a great tan to die for, but the problem is.. Im sleightly overweight.

I get all confident sometimes, but then I look in a mirror and think" OMG!! Why would he EVER like ME??" My feelings of confidence go down the drain, even though I am currently losing the weight.

 

 

Today he came over to sit by me at work for awhile on his break... I was very flattered he did this. It made me feel soo good. Like he actually cared to talk.

He actually let me borrow a CD of his not too long ago.. someone else who knows him well told me, "Gee, he never lets anyone borrow his CD's"

 

All the girls at his shows are probably crazy about him. But I work with him, I am friends with him. I know him better than they do.

Dont get me wrong.. he is sooo not the type of band guy to go and sleep wiht a girl after a show. (their following isnt THAT big..) LOL

 

Why am I so obsessed?

Is it possible he came into my life for a reason? Since we have soo much in common (thats its almost scary) could it be I am meant to be with him?

I dont know what to do.. I am terribly confused.

He smiles at me at all times, I do too. He sometimes ask me for advice. LOL He looks me in the eyes constantly while he talks.

I just cant believe I havent been friends with him earlier than this!

 

Let me just end this by saying.. yes, I am in a current serious relationship. I know I love my boyfriend sooo very much. (but I really dont want to go into that.. I just need input on this guy at work)

I honestly truly do love my boyfriend though, that I feel like crying because I am having these feelings for this guy.

 

He has never spoken of his girlfriend to me and I have never spoken about my boyfriend to him. (WHATS STOPPING US?)

Its just that the feeling of NEEDING to be with him is completely overwhelming. I feel like I need him..

Im confused and I think about him all the time. I dont know what I am doing or where I am heading.

Although I only told 3 of my closest friends about him, I could never tell my close friends at work. This is why I keep this quiet. Its killing me.

I would hope to God nobody I know ever saw this post.

sorry this took so long.. but I really need some input on something. THANK YOU>

[lovelyme4u17]

i think that it would maybe help if you told your bf this, and ask for his input, and make it a friendly conversation, dont get into an argument. (it looks bad on my part lol) maybe you might feel better. i understand what you are oign through though went through the same thing. do not ever be able to pm me or im me, i would be more than glad to talk to you. if this doesnt work, you could always talk to me, or someone else here. we are here for you, thats what this is for. do not ever be afraid to ask a question. have you tried talking to the guy about it? maybe that might work as well, and you know he has a gf so maybe you could bring it up in the conversations you have. he sounds like a very understanding person, and maybe he will understand and feel the same. as i said before DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK you will never know if you dont. i pray that you will have help in dealing with this subject and that everything will turn out ok. if it doesnt, than at least you ccan say you tried and attempted it. you can not receive credit for things that you do not do. well best of luck!!!! and i hope everything goes ok. and iexpect a full report!!

[mermayd]

This sounds like a sticky situation. First let me say that everything happens for a reason. if you feel an overwhelming sense of bonding with this guy, then ther is probably something there. That is how my bf and I started out. And we were both with someone else when it all happened. But theres that voice, your gut, telling you its right. If this is how it is for you, follow your heart. It sounds like you are both interested in eachother. But beware...you do not want to sabotage either of the relationships you are in while trying to build a new one. I am a firm believer in ending one thing before starting another. Dont let anyones heart break any more than needed. this goes for your bf and his gf. I suggest you try to keep things on a friendly basis and be a little flirty. let him break the ice one way or the other. seeing as how you have been talking with him for some time, Im sure once he is ready to let you know if he feels anything more than a friendship, you will know by his behavior or what he says. try not to push anything. If something is meant to be, it WILL happen. From what you say, I do think there is a reason this guy came into your life. We often arent aware of the reasons as to why until after the fact. but take everything with ease and go with the flow. Put on your charm a little bit. Hold eye contact a little longer than normal. Wait and see how he will react. (It took my bf 5-6 months to even TALK to me...we had an eye-to-eye conversation until words were even spoken). If your heart is telling you to go for this, it is most likeley not wrong. It is hard to tell the difference between what your heart says and what your head says. but listen carefully and you will know what is right to do.

As far as being interested in him to begin with goes. it is common for people in relationships to be interested in someone else. Especially if that someone else makes them feel special and wanted and "honored". There are interesting and goodlooking people all over the world. You are only allowed to be interested in ONE? thats not human! The difference lies in the behavior. There is nothing wrong with interest as long as it is not acted upon.

I hope this helps.

[Ren2003]

Thanks you guys...

I should have said that we talk on a daily basis at work and when Im out seeing his band.

We dont talk on the phone or anything.

 

Another thing, when hes talking to me, he always rubs his right arm.

Always.

Whats up with that?

Do you think thats a sign of any kind?