rebound stuff

[lonelymantonight]

Okay I got a question on rebounds. From what I understand e rebound is a quick replacement to help distract and keep the person's mind off of the break up. If an ex goes on the rebound shouldn't that be some kind of reassurance that they are having a tough time with the break up?

 

I used to think how could she hook up with someone so quick, she must not care. But I think actually the opposite is true. The fact that they have a rebound is a huge psychological sign. Anyone agree with this or have a opinion on this?

[laboheme]

I wouldn't say that a rebound relationship on the part of the ex is a sign that they're having a hard time with it. Yes, it may be true that they're looking for a distraction...but it could also be true that their heart left the relationship long before the actual breakup happened, and once they are officially single, they feel ready to start dating again. Maybe they were considering cheating in the relationship anyway...Or maybe they don't see dating as something that should be taken seriously. Any number of things...

 

At any rate, if you're trying to convince yourself that the rebound means she still cares, try to avoid thinking that...because while it may be true, it does not indicate in any way that there will be a reconciliation.

[majord23]

Rebounds are used to fill a gap. That doesn't necessarily mean that a 'rebounder' wants their ex back - the significant relationship may have ended for legitimate reasons.

 

Someone rebounding is no more or less likely to come back to an ex - and if they *do*, sometimes it's not for the right reasons....sometimes they are rebounding from the rebound.

[luvursmile]

I agree. Rebounds are to take your mind off the fact that you just broke up with someone you care about. Psychologically, i think, its also about reassuring yourself that "Yup, Ive still got it." And 3rd, i think its about not wanting to be alone. Thats just my opinion, and thats why I have done it in the past. 1. My ego, 2. not wanting to be alone & 3. keep my mind off him.

Yup, that sounds about right.

[TrynToGetBy]

How long do rebound relationships usually last women? I know this is very general, but what are people's experiences?

[Ash]

I also thought of rebounds as a way to fill what's missing after a relationship rather than a distraction. In other words, many people are hurt after a breakup and want to feel like they matter, somebody likes them and wants to be with them and they've got the capabilities of being with somebody.

 

Sometimes it doesn't even matter who it is which is they are with. That's why people on rebound relationships often seem to choose so poorly and hastily. They'll often take the first person to cmoe along to offer any kind of companionship if they're hurt really badly.

 

Other people see it as a positive step in the right direction and they're not letting themselves be stuck in the past.

 

Guess what I'm saying in all of this is I personally don't necessarily see rebounds as a way of missing who they were just with in hopes that it will come back again. In fact, I tend to think it is the opposite. If somebody really wants badly to get back with an ex they quite often tend to isolate themselves from everybody else because they are "waiting" or "nobody else will ever be able to take his/her place".

[lonelymantonight]

I never once mentioned that a rebounder might come back. I am not trying to convince myself of anything. All I am saying is that instead of looking at a new person as a complete insult maybe that new person should be taken as sort of a compliment that your ex is struggling with the break up and it's not as easy as they might be letting on.

[lonelymantonight]

I have read a lot of posts on here and it always seems the same. The dumpee wanders how the dumper can move on so quick. All I'm saying is that maybe appearances can be deceiving.

[majord23]

I have read a lot of posts on here and it always seems the same. The dumpee wanders how the dumper can move on so quick. All I'm saying is that maybe appearances can be deceiving.

 

Sometimes, sometimes not.

 

My last 2 signifcant exes have technically 'rebounded'. One got married to her 'rebound' in August and the other is living with hers.

 

It's usually only possible to diagnose a rebound after it has ended. Until then, it is a relationship - just like any other.

[TrynToGetBy]

Sometimes, sometimes not.

 

My last 2 signifcant exes have technically 'rebounded'. One got married to her 'rebound' in August and the other is living with hers.

 

Majord,

 

Sorry to hear that.

 

My ex-girlfriend of 8 years is in a "rebound" now... I hope this isn't the case with her. Would you say those cases are the exception or the rule?

[majord23]

Majord,

 

Sorry to hear that.

 

My ex-girlfriend of 8 years is in a "rebound" now... I hope this isn't the case with her. Would you say those cases are the exception or the rule?

 

No need to be sorry mate, but thanks

 

I realised that the first ex wasn't for me long before she tied the knot - the second ex I realised wasn't for me pretty much the day I found out about her new relationship

 

I wouldn't say that they are the exception - most relationships end. That is a fact of life. I'd say rebounds possibly have less chance of lasting the distance, but it's still 50/50 - it will last, or it won't.

[whatchamacallit]

I've been struggling with this cause my ex is living with his newfound girlfriend that he's known for a whole 5 weeks. I guess some people are just afraid to be alone. However, it makes me sick that he can move on so quickly.

[jjj]

rebounds are a wonderful thing at the time, but in hinesight are probably best to be avoided, but then thy do help give an ego boost at a time when it is carefully sought after to either side, . and ase also useful when causing jealousys. Point scoring tho is never a good thing ..