Friend acting weird when meeting my girlfriend

[Crazyhorse]

OK, my girlfriend lives abroad and recently she has come over to my home a few times. We are getting really serious and I obviously wanted to introduce her to my friends and she got on well with the ones she met so far. The other night we were meeting up with my best friend whom I have been friends with for around 18 years. I've never had much success with girls and this is the first time I've introduced a girlfriend to him. We met up and he was really obnoxious, not himself at all. Seemed to be putting on some performance. He wasn't particularly nice to my girlfriend and he kept saying bizarre things suggesting that he cheats on his girlfriend and strange things like that. My girlfriend and I ended up arguing at the end of the night over something that he said that put doubt in her mind about me. We've always been the best of friends and done everything together, he's always been great but was a completely different person the other night. She's just seen this performance he put on and is wondering how I can be best friends with somebody like that. I'm confused, one, as to why he did it and two as to what to do. I just want us all to get on well together. I'm totally in love with my girlfriend and want to be with her. I don't want to fall out with my best friend though although I didn't particularly like him the other night. I'm a bit confused. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[Beec]

Maybe he did it because he thinks she might get between the two of you, i.e. you might mvoe or something because of her.

[Iceman26]

Have you asked him why he was acting so strange?

 

I'd have a talk with him (without mentioning what your girlfriend thinks about him) and ask him what was up, and see if he is ok. Maybe he is jealous, or has his own thing going on.

 

The only way to figure this one out is to have a good, open talk with him or just not bring him around your girlfriend, and I am sure you don't want the latter.

[Momene]

Perhaps he finds her very attractive!?

[DaDancingPsych]

I think we could come up with hundreds of possible reasons for the behavior. He was nervous. He was trying to impress her. He doesn't want to lose the friendship the two of you have. He thought she was cute. He wasn't feeling well. Yadda yadda. The point is that you're only going to know if you talk with him. Question him about the strange behavior (in a nonconfortational manner.) See if you can get an explanation and see if you can help reassure/fix the problem at hand. Also, consider speaking with girlfriend (if you haven't already) concerning this strange behavior. That you're very confused by it and weren't expecting it. It's hard to change a first impression, but maybe a second meeting is in order to help them meet the each for real this time!

[Caterina]

Yeah ask him why he acted that way. Maybe he's jealous.

[journey05]

Perhaps he finds her very attractive!?

 

That's the first thing that popped into my mind.

[confused25]

I think he's jealous too. Either of her stealing you away from him, or the fact that you have a attractive gf and he doesn't.

[Crazyhorse]

OK, thanks, I'm still not sure. I spoke to him and said I thought he was acting weird and why and he just said he thought he was acting normal. He said he wants to meet her again and hopes that they become friends.

 

I don't think he's jealous, he's got a nice girlfriend himself. It's possible he's bothered about her coming between us. We used to pretty much go out every night, just for a drink or to play pool or whatever. Obviously since I've been with my girlfriend I've had other things on. We've still gone out and done things though, just obviously not every night.

[Momene]

Have a night out the 4 of you.

[DaDancingPsych]

Give him time to readjust to this new relationship. Obviously, it's effecting your friendship. And although you both have someone special in your life, still make time for each other. Even once a week or every other week is something. And I like the idea of planning time to "double date".

[sddeaston]

I think he's jealous too. Either of her stealing you away from him, or the fact that you have a attractive gf and he doesn't.

 

This is what my initial reaction was to the post.