Not sure if my friend likes me.

[Sam _]

Me and this girl have been friends for about 3 years and I started having feelings towards her around September. I'm not sure if she likes me though.

 

 

I asked her on a date (in September) to an amusement park and she said 'Yes' and started talking about how 'we should get all-day passes so we can leave, get something to eat without dealing with over-priced park food, walk on the beach, and go back to the park'.

 

At the park we were walking around and she noticed that one of the rides was out of order and says 'That sucks' I ask why and she says 'Well, that ride is facing the ocean and when it goes up you can look out and see the sunset. I wanted to do that.'

 

We had pictures of us done. On one of them she kissed me right before the picture was taken. (She was kissing me and I looked stupid, I was looking at the camera) When she saw it she laughed and said that I looked cute

 

While we were waiting for one of the rides to start she mentions that 'I was the only guy she would have gone out with alone because how much I respect her and how well I treat her'.

 

She said that she doesn't want to be in a relationship until she graduates and then said that we could be after if I am still interested then. (we both graduate in June 2007)

 

At the end of the night, I took her home. She kissed me and said 'Thanks for being such a gentleman'

 

I told her that I was going to have to go out of state for a week and she said that I better write to her. The day before I left she handed me a note and playfully said 'Now you have to write me back!'

 

She hugs me every day in school. But whenever it's just us, when she hugs me she holds a little tighter and longer.

 

When I asked her out last week she said that she was sorry, but she doesn't think she would be able to go out. I ask her when will the next time we can go out and she said that she doesn't knows and promised she will save the next day she is free especially for me.

 

She says she hates talking to people on the phone and she doesn't talk to anyone for longer than a few minutes. But we talk for at least an hour.

 

One time (on the phone) I started talking about how my boss and one of the girls that work there flirt all the time (I'm the only guy that works there besides my boss) and I sarcastically say 'I don't know why he doesn't flirt with me. I guess he thinks I'm ugly'. We laugh and then she says 'You're not ugly. You're actually pretty cute'. I giggled (lol) and she started baby-talking the word cute to me.

 

We have Chemistry together (a little ironic, lol) and I sometimes catch her looking at me (when we were seated on opposite sides of the room). When I do she waves and starts woking again. She started sitting at the table behind mine about a month ago.

[Clueless911]

ok, it sounds to me like instead of not wanting a relationship she doesn't want to be tied down to one guy. Sounds more like friends with benefits to me. She could easily being doing this to another guy as well. I think (if it's what you want) that you should talk to her and tell her that you are starting to feel, i guess you could say used or led on. cause thats what i think she is doing.

[Sam _]

Well, a few weeks ago I mentioned that it seems like she would rather spend more time with her other friends than go out with me. She says that she isn't seeing anyone and that her friends usually show up and drag her somewhere.

 

How am I being used/led on?

[Sam _]

I forgot to mention. She says that she doesn't want to be in a relationship until after graduation because she doesn't want to be in a relationship that might end shortly after graduation. She said she wants something that will last.

[Haven]

I don't understand. What's your question? She obviously likes you. She just may not want to get into a relationship with you and then have to break up a few months later when the two of you graduate and go separate ways.

[Dating Coach]

Sounds like you have been friendzoned hard core. Everything you described from kissing you on the cheek to talking on the phone to you for an hour when she hates talking, all sound exactly like friendzone.

 

If you are interested in her then the longer you hide your feelings then the bigger your hidden lie becomes. Don't confess your feelings to her, but instead suggest that you two go on a real date. Then kiss her on the lips at the end of the night. If you do this then you will find out where you stand.

[Sam _]

She knows how I feel, I told her at the amusement park. I told her at the amusement park on our date. We did go on a real date. The amusement park was a real date. We arrived there at 4PM and left at 2 AM. (I know I didn't mention this, but) she seemed disappointed that the date ended (our parents kept calling us to tell us that we need to come home). At the end of the night she didn't kiss me on the cheek, she kissed me on the lips. She says that I am the only person she talks to on the phone for longer than a few minutes.

 

Tell me, she doesn't want to be in a relationship until her high school graduation day and says that we could be in a relationship if I were still interested then, she also said that she wants to be sure she doesn't get into a relationship until graduation day. Could she just be "friend-zoning" me until graduation day?

[Massari]

Friendzone??? ahhh I don't think so.. friends don't kiss on the lips after a long day at the amusement park,, friends with benefit??? mayybeeeee.. but she seem like a nice gal to have a personality like that...

[bikjj]

hey without diverting from sam completely, its funny you should say that about being kissed on the lips because I started a link as I was very confused about when a girl kissess you on the lips what does it mean if anything?

 

 

[Dating Coach]

She knows how I feel, I told her at the amusement park. I told her at the amusement park on our date.

 

If you were on a real date then why did you bring drama by telling her how you feel? Asking her out on a real date is plenty enough to tell her that you are interested in her. She doesn't need to know just how bad you have it over her when she's not even your girlfriend. You're taking away any sense of challenge when you do this. It's like throwing yourself at her... "I'm here if you want me!" when instead you could be taking her out on dates and having a blast without delving into drama and seriousness.

 

At the end of the night she didn't kiss me on the cheek, she kissed me on the lips. She says that I am the only person she talks to on the phone for longer than a few minutes.

 

Honestly, there isn't much at all that we can determine by what she "said". To me, the most important piece of information is what kind of kiss that was. Was it a peck, was it open mouthed, did it involve tongue, etc. THAT is the most important bit of info there. Her mentioning talking on the phone means nothing. Actions speak louder than words.

 

Tell me, she doesn't want to be in a relationship until her high school graduation day and says that we could be in a relationship if I were still interested then, she also said that she wants to be sure she doesn't get into a relationship until graduation day. Could she just be "friend-zoning" me until graduation day?

 

I think this is a test. I don't think that she is thinking to herself, "I am going to test him" but regardless this is a test to see what kind of a guy you are. To pass this test she needs to know that you are not the kind of guy that she can have sit on the sidelines hoping for a chance to date her when she is ready. To pass this test you would need to say something like, "That's too bad that you aren't looking to date anyone until after graduation because I think you're going to be missing out on some good times. Unfortunately I am not going to sit around and not see other people when I am not even in a relationship. When that time comes, and if I am single, then maybe we can go out. Well, it was good talking to you. See you around!" and that's it. No more hanging out. You want to be boyfriend/girlfriend, not "the friend".

You would be failing the test if you stayed hung up on her during this time. You would be telling her that she has got you wrapped around her fingers. You would be telling her that you don't have a lot of self respect. You would be removing all challenge by saying that you are so into her that you're willing to sit on the sidelines and hope that maybe when she's graduated that perhaps she'd decide to give going out with you a shot. That's a bunch of bull and it's disrespectful to yourself. You deserve far more than to be a date benchwarmer.

[bikjj]

WOW - You'd da man!!! Respect I like that speech !!!!! Ive noted it all down!

[Massari]

diggy's speach is strong and efective indeed.. but honestly how many of us men can say these words to the woman we care about so much? I know from experience I have had and ppl tell me to say these to someone to win them,.. its so hard to say](*,)

[Dating Coach]

It is a problem that so many men cannot say or do the right thing in a situation like that. It's probably why only 20% of the men out there are getting 80% of the women. Most guys these days aren't the strong man's man type, the leader, etc. Regardless of how hard it is, it must be done. The sappy 'throwing yourself at the feet of a woman you love' only works in Hollywood. Women get negative vibes from pushover guys like that and they don't date them. If such a guy does manage to get a girl being a doormat then she will use him and eventually leave him. True love requires respect and you can't respect someone who doesn't respect themselves.