hypnotherapy anyone?

[thursday]

Hi again, a little update about my situation.

 

4 weeks ago I was still posting in the suicide section of this site. School sucked + my ex was still eating out my heart. Things were really getting out of control, but somehow I got a little better (again). I changed course at school and now I actually feel like being useful to this world, as a consequence most suicidethoughts are silenced now.

 

I still feel like an emotional wreck and it's starting to get worse again. I feel hopeless/lonely. I will never get her out of my mind, never. I love her to death & can't stop thinking about her. There hasn't been even ONE day I haven't thought about her since the breakup that was 7/8 months ago.

 

Within a few weeks I'm planning to go to a hypnotherapist. This is my last chance for getting better. I've got some hope left, but I'm afraid I'm going to fail my exams. My motivation is starting to diminish, I'm doubting I can make a difference in this world. I'm also doubting the use of struggling my way out of this. I think I've lost the battle. Things will never chang for me if this therapist can't help me. Is there anyone with some personal experience to hypnosis? I need some more hope.

 

Thanks.

[RayKay]

My mum has used hypnotherapy; prior to her cancer treatments she started, and she goes now and then for that "positive thinking" as well as to help her with her sleeping and reduce her nausea. Seems to have worked for her.

 

I just want to add though I think in some ways you are living a self fulfilling prophecy in that as long as you make statements and believe you will NEVER get her out of your mind ever, you are only reinforcing the fact to yourself. A lot of moving on is accepting yes, they were part of our life, and will always be in our memory, but that we have to live on and make new memories.

 

I am not sure of the entire situation with your ex, but I can attest that healing is a journey, and there is hope even from the most painful experiences. I have had some very serious long term relationships end, sometimes due to break up, and on one occasion due to his death, and while the pain was extremely great, I also KNEW that there was more to life than staying in that pain and giving up. Life is what we make of it, and we have to move forward to live it and to experience love and life again.

 

There is lots of hope, but first you have to actually fight the battle, rather than "lose it" before you really start.

[thursday]

My mum has used hypnotherapy; prior to her cancer treatments she started, and she goes now and then for that "positive thinking" as well as to help her with her sleeping and reduce her nausea. Seems to have worked for her.

 

Cool. Though the fact that she still has to go is worrying me a bit. Can't she be programmed to just always think positive? Do the effects wear off after a while?

 

just want to add though I think in some ways you are living a self fulfilling prophecy in that as long as you make statements and believe you will NEVER get her out of your mind ever, you are only reinforcing the fact to yourself. A lot of moving on is accepting yes, they were part of our life, and will always be in our memory, but that we have to live on and make new memories.

 

Very true. It's just that it's all too deep for me to change it right now. I can't get myself fixed at this level of mind. (again I'm reinforcing the negativity)

 

I am not sure of the entire situation with your ex, but I can attest that healing is a journey, and there is hope even from the most painful experiences. I have had some very serious long term relationships end, sometimes due to break up, and on one occasion due to his death, and while the pain was extremely great, I also KNEW that there was more to life than staying in that pain and giving up. Life is what we make of it, and we have to move forward to live it and to experience love and life again.

 

Yes, I remember that from your posts. I do understand what you're saying, although it just doesn't become reality to me. I'm living in the past with hope for the future! It's horrible. Every day seems like a re-run of my worst nightmare, but only when I think about the fact that I lost the most important person in the world to me.

 

There are lots of times I'm feeling good, having fun. But once my mind wanders of to my ex or anything at all concerning love makes me extremely sad. I hope this will change by going into hypnotherapy.

 

btw, best wishes for your mother's health!

[RayKay]

Well, I think for hypnotherapy it would depend on whether they "got it right" the first time, like really addressed the issue for you. My mum has gone for different reasons, not for the same one each time she has gone. I think she has gone maybe 4 or 5 times.

 

I know that feeling of living in past with hope for the future, and you are right is IS horrible because you also know it is out of your control. I think once you realize the future IS in your control, and that what we WANT is not always what we truly NEED, you will begin to feel a lot more positive.

 

I wish you the best of luck in your healing, and I honestly believe you WILL get there sweetie.

[thursday]

Thanks, actually your empathy really gives me the impression I'm doing a bit better already!

 

& about the cancer of your mother.. I could give you some more advice on a treatment if you would like that. No I don't consider myself being a doctor, but from personal experience and the fact that your mother seems to be into more alternative ways of treatment she could give it a try. PM me if you're interested.

[deejay74]

I still feel like an emotional wreck and it's starting to get worse again. I feel hopeless/lonely. I will never get her out of my mind, never. I love her to death & can't stop thinking about her. There hasn't been even ONE day I haven't thought about her since the breakup that was 7/8 months ago.

 

hi thursday, hope you're doing better.

 

although i have never tried hypnotherapy, i did have (and still do) a similar problem as you. my ex dumped my almost 11 months ago and it wasn't until a few weeks ago that i reached that coveted "turning point". i haven't stopped thinking about my ex or our relationship since she dumped me but the thoughts of her and our relationship has become fewer and further between since i turned that corner. so, i hope this gives you hope that those thoughts will eventually taper off. it's a nice feeling to realize you're not thinking about your ex as much as you used to.

 

i am not sure if this relates to you, but perhaps you have some "obsessive" thoughts about your ex. i know i did, and i think that part of my problem is that it became a habit to think about my ex. i didn't really realize this until i talked to my therapist about it. it's great that you're thinking about hypnotherpay but i think psychotherapy is better because it uncovers the real reasons why you are the person you are today. i have a feeling hypnotherapy is a "quick fix".

 

hope this helps.

[vesper]

I dont see any harm in it. ha ha its like only something you see in the movies. But seriously good luck!! xxx please come back and tell us how it went!!

[thursday]

@deejay74

 

I'm glad I'm not the only one then. It's good to hear you are doing better, although I don't really believe for me the thoughts will ever stop.

 

Psychotherapy, I haven't really read up about it, but like you describe it.. I am quite sure I already know the reasons behind why I am the person I am today. It's not that it's going to get me out my current situation. I might be a bit obsessed with my ex, I was with her for 2.5 years since my 16th bday. I have never had another gf! She became a part of me. I love her and always will, she was the only one who could understand me, the one were I felt connected to at all possible levels of life (I'm almost crying right now because I know it's true and this will never change).

 

Hypnotherapy, if I understand it correctly is being used by the therapist to get you in the state of extreme susceptibility. Then by means of suggestions your subconscious mind will be influenced to actually delete the things that's keeping you from functioning normally.

 

I will post my experiences soon, good or bad.

[deejay74]

 

Psychotherapy, I haven't really read up about it, but like you describe it.. I am quite sure I already know the reasons behind why I am the person I am today. It's not that it's going to get me out my current situation. I might be a bit obsessed with my ex, I was with her for 2.5 years since my 16th bday. I have never had another gf! She became a part of me. I love her and always will, she was the only one who could understand me, the one were I felt connected to at all possible levels of life (I'm almost crying right now because I know it's true and this will never change).

 

oh man, you sound EXACTLY like i did when my first GF broke up with me, and even a little bit after this last relationship i had.

 

you may have to read this a bunch of times for it to sink in: YOU WILL FIND ANOTHER GF AND SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU LIKE YOUR EX DID OR EVEN MORE!! YOU WILL HAVE THAT CONNECTION WITH SOMEONE ELSE AGAIN BUT NEXT TIME IT WILL BE EVEN BETTER!

 

you're still really young and you have your WHOLE life ahead of you. you will probably date many more women until you find the "one". i know it seems hopeless right now and that you won't find anyone else like your ex, but that's your mind playing tricks on you. please try psychotherapy if your hypnotherapy doesn't work out too well.

 

believe what i said above. i didn't want to believe it but it's so true. even though i thought my first ex was the "one", i met my 2nd ex and thought she was the "one" too, but now i realize they both were not meant for me.

 

i wanted to add that i agree with RayKay with regards to the self-fulfilling prophecy. let me copy what you've said in your previous post: "...I don't really believe for me the thoughts will ever stop. ", "It's not that it's going to get me out my current situation.", "she was the only one who could understand me, the one were I felt connected to at all possible levels of life (I'm almost crying right now because I know it's true and this will never change)."

 

i hope you realize within 3 sentences, you have basically laid out your future for yourself. if you believe what i quoted, then you won't move forward. i am sorry to be harsh, but it's the truth. take if from someone who thought EXACTLY the same way as you. you really need to get out of that paradigm you have. it will do you a world of good. believe in yourself!

[thursday]

Thanks DJ74, although I really want to believe otherwise I just don't believe I will meet someone better. She was the perfect girl for me, I screwed up and I will have to live with the consequences. She really was perfect & I'm not recreating this relationship inside my head like it would be so much better than it really was in reality.

[thursday]

Hey, back again.

 

Today I went to the hypnotherapist, I was very skeptical towards her 'professionalism' at first. But after talking a bit it was like -wow-. I have been to a psychiatrist a couple of months ago & even though that was interesting, bit of helpful... but this was just so much better.

 

She could really see through me. Nothing like the psychiatrist. I'm not saying psychiatrist are not capable of healing, but for me this was really for the better. She is really going to help me. I'm not going to explain in detail, but at the moment (since today) I'm taking 'passiflora complex' for releasing the stress and nervosity.

 

Next session will give me the oppertunity to tell/write on paper what I really want to have changed in my life, in order to destroy my wall of stress & let my true potential develop.

 

The session after that one (near Christmas) she will get to the point of hypnotising me. I'm still a bit skeptical about this part of the proces, but I really trust this woman.

 

I'll keep you guys updated. Bye.

[D1886]

link removed

 

Will you guys take a look at this website and tell me what you all think?

 

I was thinking about using it to get past the obsessing over the ex girlfriend.

[Ocean123]

Which download do you want to try? I also want to stop obsessing about the ex. I'm sick of it, just want to move on with my life

[thursday]

to be honest guys, this site looks like a bit overcommercialised.. if you search there are far better ones out there! search google for 'neuro programmer' and judge for yourself, you can download a trial and read the documentation with lots of useful hints/tips in general for your life.. even ask questions on the forum for free, to me at least it has been a helpfull site since this year..

[Juliana]

Oh my Lord on a pogo stick, will people please stop talking about "deleting" memories as if this were a solution??

 

Sorry. Deep breath. Okay. You do not want to forget. Trust me on this one. I had no choice; losing him just wiped me off the map, emotionally, and my mind bailed on me. You may think you can't stand the pain, but if you really couldn't your mind would look after that for you, and away the memories would all go -- first a little, then alot, and then completely. But that is part of who you are. If you want a big-time, serious mental illness, by all means, continue trying to forget.

 

Forgetting doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. You bleed where you can't see it, and feel the pain where you can't reach it. Just write, and talk and deal with it, and if you think you need to see a psychiatrist or a therapist, do it.

[thursday]

Oh my Lord on a pogo stick, will people please stop talking about "deleting" memories as if this were a solution??

 

Did anyone mention erasing memories as a solution? I don't think so.

Obviously you are not so very good informed about the therapy. Search google & learn .

[Juliana]

"Then by means of suggestions your subconscious mind will be influenced to actually delete the things that's keeping you from functioning normally."

 

What exactly are you hoping to delete?

[cherries]

for light hypnosis techniques, i can really recommend the book 'how to mend your broken heart'. it teaches you how to play with your mind's eye and manipulate visions of your ex and the situations you found yourselves in, so that you start to detach from painful memories and concentrate on your own self esteem and self worth.

 

i don't really recommend books (or read many) but i read this cover-to-cover today and there are a lot of helpful techniques in it.

[thursday]

If anybody cares to know. Hypnosis didn't work for me. It wasn't really hypnosis what she tried with me, she put me in a trancelike state, deeply relaxed & I had to visualise lots of things like for instance I'm standing on a beach, lying in a chair..... finally ending up in a hallway with lots of doors. I had to enter a door for example while keeping one question in mind... All interesting stuff really, but when it came to contacting my spirit guides I failed. Actually I have lost faith almost completely right now because of that session (a while back actually). So I'm quite lost on the subject of religion and stuff..

 

But, at least I have got some goals set for 2007 and am sure I will do better from now on.. & would like to recommend everyone in here the movie "The Secret: Law of Attraction" I saw it today and thought it was quite inspiring, better than some book I read a while ago handling the same subject..

 

Best wishes to everyone!