Finally formalized two-way no contact, and it feels good.

[insofar]

Hi folks. Broke up with my girlfriend of about 1.5 years four weeks ago, which I posted about here (read for details).

 

After the breakup, she wanted to remain friends, which I was open to at the time because, honestly, I was devastated and hoping I could get her back. She messaged me about once every four or five days, usually starting with smalltalk and getting into relationship issues sometimes. Recently though, she's been almost bragging to me... I got a new job, I got a new car, etc.

 

Just now I finally told her that it's unfair of her to be telling me about her life when I can't share it. I said she knew my feelings (that I love her still and want to fix our relationship) and that if she wanted to try to work things out she should tell me, but otherwise I can't take this. She realized how * * * *ty she was being (apparently) and agreed.

 

And while it was hard to do, and I still feel kinda bad about it, it's good to have control back. I feel like I've turned a corner. Whenever she messaged me previously, I always had a bit of a downturn in my missing her. She always seemed to like to leave a bit of "bait" about how it was possible we could get back together, about how it hasn't been easy for her... I've had enough. And now, at least I won't have to feel that anymore. I honestly think there is a bit of her missing me, but now it's truly in her court, and I can move on.

 

I never thought finality would be vindicating.

 

Thoughts?

[heloladies21]

Good for you, but realize that she probably won't respect your decision and there's a good possibility she's gonna contact you again with more false hope and BSing. It's up to you to confront her on it asap if she does and get her intentions out on the table right at the beginning of the conversation. If she calls you and goes into small talk about nothing for a bit, nothing wrong with saying "So why did you call?" And if you get any other answer other than "I was thinking about getting back together with you", then restate your position and get off the call. Misreading signs is a common trap lots fall into, don't fall in with em.

[insofar]

Aye, she's not calling me, just messages. But I'll certainly be holding her to it.

[booberry]

Aye, she's not calling me, just messages. But I'll certainly be holding her to it.

 

wait, so she's still sending you messages? NC means... well... NC!

[insofar]

Not now. That's what I mean, I finally just said "look, don't message me unless you want to try again." Previously it was one-way no contact, her messaging me but me not messaging her.

 

Also, once again talking to her hasn't let me have a lot of sleep. I know what I did was necessary and right, but it still hurts that she won't love me back.

[insofar]

Argh. I recently came accross a photo of me and her, and now I'm feeling really down about finally closing the door. Part of my mind wonders if I would have had more of a chance getting back with her if I'd stayed "friends". I don't really think so, but my mind is going over everything we've talked about again... I was almost angry the last time I spoke to her and finally said I couldn't take her telling me about her life all the time, she said it hasn't been easy for her but I wonder if that means that she's missed me at all... And I wonder about her saying earlier that she would like to work things out eventually, even though later she said she didn't know what she meant when she said that...

 

Gah. I thought we had something really good together. I just don't understand it.

[heloladies21]

Be sure 100% that the friends route never works to get the ex back. You can go through posts after after post on here and try and find one guy who succeeds and doesn't get filled with false hope, not being able to open up to someone else, and the inevitable broken heart when she finds someone else. This method has been thoroughly tried and failed.