Trying not to get jaded

[adideas]

Hi - How does one not get jaded in today's world? I look around and I wonder where is the loyalty to anything or anyone. I am not tooting my own horn by any means, but I truly try to be loyal. What is God trying to teach me right now? What lesson is looming?

 

It seems all at once -- literally in the last couple of months -- my whole world has changed. Everything seemed to be going so well. I have four main managers that work in the company I own. Four people who have been with me 13, 10, 10, 7 years. These four people I would trust with my life. One is in my will to take my son if I should die.

 

And sadly, she is the one who has hurt me most. I don't know what to do. I love her and she is my best friend. But lately she has just become mean. She wants to leave the company and is trying to sabotage our relationship in the process. She is getting married to a wonderful man whom I introduced. Last night I went to dinner with the staff, I bought a few people a tequilla shot to "celebrate" losing our 2nd largest account. (HUGE financial hit) Today she found out about it and called me "classless" to several staff memebers. Today I found out she had been interviewing for other jobs several years ago. SHE IS SUPPOSED TO GET MY SON! Why would she break my trust?

 

Today one of the (7) showed up at my house at 7 a.m. crying her eyes out telling me that she and married (13) have been having an affair for over a year. (13) has just gotten back with his x-wife in the last 6 months and is planning to get re-married. They've broken up and now she wants to leave the company. What is wrong with 13? He was having an affair when he got back together with his wife?

 

The 10's have a pact to leave if the other leaves and the other 10 is very ill. She is the only one who I understand because she wants to be close to her family.

 

Our contact for our 3rd largest client got fired after 9 years last week. I am just recovering and learning to trust again my husband after his "relationship" with "friends".

 

I know 10 wants to leave. I'm hurt. And not just leave the job but leave our friendship---our Oprah/Gail King relationship. Why is she saying such mean things to me and behind my back?

 

Am I going to loose the company that I have built for 15 years? Will my relationship survive? Where is my crystal ball. Why can't life just be fun and smooth? If you are committed enough to read this much, thank you. Please help. I'm hurting.

[mike_chppr]

I don't know what to say, You must really be hurting right now, and I'm in a lot of pain right now too, I'm finding it helpful to take a step back and reevaluate who I am as a person. decide who I want to be in life, I've put a lot of pressure on my wife to be there for me, She is broken now and I need to be there for her, but she won't let me.

 

Your friend, {I get lost in all the numbers} probably feels like she knows that the contract losses aren't good and may blame herself somewhat, she may be scared that you will blame her too if the company fails, she could be thinking that If I disolve the friendship now, being laid off won't feel so bad. You are after all her boss which makes the situation even more complicated.

 

Develop yourself, be strong in who you are and take some time to get to know yourself, your emotions are raw right now. Sitting down with a counselor helps me get things off my chest and is helping me control my anxiety and hurt, It may not hurt to look into seeing someone for a few weeks. It doesn't mean you are crazy, it just means you need to talk with someone without the pressure of a relationship or friendship so that you can truly discoveer yourself.

 

I'm not in your shoes, and no where close, but I empathize with the hurt, and I'm having to make life 1 hour at a time right now. just make the next step, get my stomach untied from the knots that it is in and move on.

 

Hope this helps, or I'm just another crazy guy who feels like typing to get through another hour.

 

Best Wishes

[adideas]

thank you so much. my stomach is in knots too. I seem to not be able to relax at all. I really appreciate your advice.

 

I look at her and she doesn't have hardly any close friends. I am one of her few except now for her BF (who is absolutely wonderful). So I wonder why she would intentionally try to burn our friendship that has been so very close for 10 years. Thanks for your insite. I hadn't thought of that.