Help?

[cat320]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months, hes the best thing that ever happened to me and i love him very much. We do have a few problems but nothing that isnt normal i guess. He is a little immature and i know that we're young but i really really wish that he could be romantic, it bothers me a lot and i talk to him all the time about it but every time i bring it up he gets upset and tells me what a bad boyfriend he his and i usually have to calm him down and tell him that im not going to leave him. All i want is for him to do something spontanious or something new and romantic every now and again, for example if we are leaving his house to go somewhere instead of walking to the passenger side of the car first and opening the door for me he will run and try to beat me and jump in as fast as he can and i always laugh because i dont really mind that much but i wish he would be a little more considerate sometimes

how do i get him to be romantic?

[InaneCathode]

That's just how he is. He might grow out of it, but alot of the time you can't change people.

[cat320]

well thats what i dont understand i feel like he thinks that im trying to change him but i dont think i am i mean im not asking him to be a different person all i want is something nice once in a while i dont think it would be hard

am i being rediculous?

[DN]

Try opening the door for him.

 

You are perfectly capable of opening your own car door. Remember he is your boyfriend not some sort of glorified servant from whom you can demand special services under the guise of 'being romantic' and then criticise him for being immature because he doesn't want to do them.

[Lovely8466]

All guys are different. Some are more romantic and old fashioned than others. Just like what the other post said, this is who he is and he most likely won't change his ways. If you have tried talking to him several times and still nothing has happened, then there is a good chance nothing ever will. What you need to decide for yourself is would you rather have another boyfriend who will meet your needs in romance? Or is this something that you can try and let go because everything else in your relationship is really good and more important to you.

 

These are things a lot of woman actually struggle with. I notice it's a good idea to write down the things that are most important and least important to you in a relationship. That way you really know what you need/want in a relationship. You can't change a guy, and most of us woman believe or hope he will change for us, but in the end he never does. I hope it all works out for the best!

[cat320]

i dont know if you are understanding me, i said that i didnt mind him doing that besides it was just an example, if he applied romance elsewhere thats fine too, i dont think of him as my servant and i dont want "special services" im not someone who thinks my boyfriend should bow down and do everything i say

i would just like him to do something nice for me and it doesnt have to be every day or every week and he knows this because ive tole him and hes told me that he wants to but he doesnt know how, ive tried to give him hints on what and how but he hasent taken my advice

should i give up?

[Lovely8466]

Then give up on the hints and talk to him already. Tell him what you would like for him to do.

[cat320]

sorry that was for DN

but for lovely8466 I guess youre right, it isnt THAT important to me that i would leave him but i figured i would give this a try

thank you

[cat320]

i have told him what i want but i also feel like he should be creative and come up with something that he wants to do for me(ive told him that too)

i guess its just not for him

[hateithere]

Leave him little post it notes everywhere saying things like "I love you" and "ur amazing" lol... maybe if you try to be romantic it will rub off on him, be a relaxed romantic, don't try to make it serious he isn't ready for that.

[Lovely8466]

I agree with hateithere. You should definitely try being romantic to him to see if he may see or know how to be romantic back to you. I do that with my bf b/c he isn't as romantic as I would want him to be, and it kind of helps in a way.

[cat320]

well i usually leave him notes saying that i love him

but i guess i should do more of what i want him to do

maybe hell like it and want to do it for me =)