emtpy inside

[rickothesicko]

well my names rick, I have become a despardo and decided getting help on a forum is my last chance. First of my "life"

 

I've always felt I was less attractive then my friends in highschool. once I finished high school after friends tried to make me come out more I always refused and made up some excuse, I work a crappy part time job at kmart. don't feel like life is moving forward anywhere.

 

I have never had a girlfriend(I'm 20), you see I'm not funny, I have no money, I live with my mom and the 3 days a week I have off work I just prefer to lie on my bed with a bottle of jack and get sloshed . needless to say my few friends have made themselves distant of me after highschool graduation, there all out with their g/f's and buddies at the nightclubs, not one of my friends has ever tried to set me up on a date, guess it's coz I'm too unattractive and they don't wanna dissappoint their female friends, everyday I wake up, either go to work or stay at home getting hammered, causing my mom concern. I don't go out to niteclubs as I feel like an outcast in those places. and when people talk to me at work I have little to say, and don't really no what to say, it's been a miserable life story these last 2yrs and I'm contemplating punching my own ticket via a colt .45 magnum bullet through the head.

 

some day's I just get so depressed and start crying. As I'm unattractive the only girls that show an intersted are those also unattractive, but I feel little for these unattractive mingers and usually only go for 8+ rated women.

 

Now I also don't even have ANY WOMEN FRIENDS. I'm a nice guy and I don't get s---faced while I'm doing my mundane job. I only had sex with 1 chic at a party when I was drunk and she was coming on to me, but she was no oil painting herself and I couldn't even cum after going at it for over an hour with her.

 

Any suggestions welcome because I'm nearing the end of my tither here.

And if I don't punch my own ticket I might have to go out David Berkowitz style. I'm getting increasly bitter and annoyed. No girls flirt with me(not the ones I want anyway)

Thanks any advice welcome.

[in_the_mirror]

you need to go and do something. you feel so bad about yourself prolly cuz you think way to much about it and you lie in bed with nothing else to think about. you have to stop caring what other people think about you cuz you don't know that that is what they are thinking about you. i would suggest maybe some counseling or going out and find new friends at work or something. you need to stop thinking so much on the negative side life isn't always that bad. maybe try finding a new job or start going to college if you haven't already. there are girls there and new people to meet. and it can be like a whole new start to life sometimes

[Aura Seeker]

Welcome to the board. So glad you posted. Your mother has every right to be concerned. I have heard your exact story SOOO many times.

 

The icolation. The drinking. The feeling of of being different than everyone else. The inablility of having the motivation to move forward.

 

Everything you just said are classic examples of alcoholisim. Don't forget that denial is one of them to. So what I am suggesting, because you are at the end of your rope and desperate (because that is how we all come in) go to an AA meeting. Just try it and go a few times to see if this is in fact what the root probem really is.

 

If it is, You won't be different anymore. You will be surrounded with people just like you. If not, what have you got to lose. Just try it. Go look.

 

Just go see, and then come back and post! Share what you discovered, if you are or if you are not.

 

Just my opinion.

 

A

[Mccrat]

A woman talking here....the most attractive thing about men is when they have confidence. From what I can tell, you need to get out of bed and do something on your days off! Probably the only one that thinks your unattractive is you. Be POSITIVE! It's the biggest turn-on!

[outlander03]

i have gone similarly through what you have gone through. i was nearly the heaviest girl in my school my entire life, and after high school i felt worse, if possible.

 

but don't let it end here. i think part of what's affecting you is being inside all of the time. and being in the same physical location as your high school years, and keeping contact with your high school friends. don't try to hang onto them; they'll all change in a few years anyway. if you want to change your situation, then you have to take some physical action.

 

what do you like to do besides drink? seeing movies? reading? anything? whatever it is, go try it in another place, another city nearby. even if it's just eating at the McDonald's a few towns over, it's different. once I moved out of my small town to the nearby larger town, it made a world of difference. people didn't know me and saw me differently, were attracted to me--even the attractive people.

 

look, nothing's going to change if you don't make an effort to change. it's the hardest thing anyone can do, but the most rewarding. if you feel unattractive, it shows. but likely it's nothing that you can't change. once again--I've been there. I've done it and I'm doing it now.

 

if you're living at home but working 4 days a week, i can't imagine that your expenses are huge. can you afford a gym membership? if you work part-time, can you go there during the late morning or the afternoons, when there are fewer people to feel self-conscious around (this is what I did)? can you afford to buy yourself some new clothes that make you feel more confident--and hence more attractive? you don't have to go to clubs if you don't want to, so don't buy "club clothes"--and trust me, girls that look attractive under club lights usually look crappy in the morning, so start looking for attractive people somewhere else, too.

 

can you afford to take a short trip on the 3 days you have off? maybe save for a longer trip? travel always gets you to meet new people and expands your mind--trust me. even if the trip sucks you tend to view your home and the people around it in a different light.

 

i hope some of this helps, and doesn't sound too shallow.

 

whatever you take from this, just please don't let things end here for you. there really is so much ahead,even if some of it is going to be difficult. you are still young enough to make so many changes to both yourself and the world around you, so please don't let that chance go.

[rickothesicko]

Thanks guys,

But I don't have any hobbies really, I drink, I watch movies, I enjoy music and read sometimes. Basically, that's it. I do have SOME money, I can afford new clothes which make me feel more confident.

 

But my main problem is I do EVERYTHING by myself. I don't know how to communicate with people other then having a superficial conversation with some people ie "how's it going" "busy day today" I don't know how to get into a deeper conversation, I'm one of those painfully shy guys. I do everything on my lonesome these days (I don't like walking into a bar sitting all by myself, looks soo pityful)

 

Thanks.

[Aura Seeker]

Rick. Please. Get into the rooms. Do you know that in the 12 steps of AA only the first one even mentions alcohol? The rest of them are based on learning to live. To live without depending on alcohol.

 

Call the central office in your area, and someone will come and get you so that you don't have to go in alone. they will also help you to determine if your life is unmanagable because of alcohol.

 

If you are going home, shutting yourself off, and drinking yourself to sleep because of the lonelyness.....why not just try it out?

 

You have to live different to be different. Please just check it out, what will it hurt?

 

Just my opinion

 

A

[outlander03]

if you go to an AA meeting, people will listen to you. you might not like them (i grew up among AA meetings), but at least they will listen to you and probably relate

 

i know the painfully shy thing, too. it might never leave, but the superficial conversations can actually be helpful. consider this: if you can have "superficial" conversations, then you can always converse with the people you work with without them thinking you're totally stand-off-ish, but then again you don't have to let them know too much where they start prying. it will come in handy someday.

 

when you write that you're shy and have trouble communicating, in conjuction with what you described about your high school friends, to me that says that you're one of those people who chooses friends carefully, and that's a fantastic trait. there's nothing more annoying than people who claim to be your "instant buddy" and then never show up when you really need them. but your characteristic shows that you probably develop deeper, more meaningful friendships with people, which to most people is better.

 

if i were you, i'd take a couple of interest classes at a community college. it's cheap, if you don't do well academically it probably won't permanently ruin your academic record (hey, you can always go to another college!), you'll meet a lot of other people who take a no-pressure, interest-based approach and who are also looking for new acquaintances. plus, let's say you find a class you really like, like a modern music class, and you feel too embarrassed to speak up in class for fear of sounding stupid--who cares! you won't ever have to see those people again if you don't want to! and you only have to deal with them for one quarter or semester.

 

i was shy, too, and still am about making close friends. but some of the best people i met were at a community college. plus, there's other activities going on, clubs and sh*t, in case you end up not liking the classes--and unlike high school, you don't have to be enrolled in a class in order to do the activity you want (like those yearbook and student govt. classes I remember from then).