The reasons for relationships. Very interesting theory.

[crookster_man]

Through my reading and research on human relationships I have discovered a rather powerful theory that I felt would do great good if shared here. So I will share what I have learned. I would like to hear your responses

 

People come into our lives for three different things; for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime. Each relationship we form is under one of these categories, our goal here in life is to grow spiritually, personally and to develop a deeper understanding of ourselves. The following is an except from a website that outlines this theory quite well.

 

When someone is in your life for a REASON. . .

It is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty,

to provide you with guidance and support,

to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are!

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an

inconvenient time, this person will say or do something

to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and

force you to take a stand. What we must realize is

that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled,

their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been

answered. And now it is time to move on.

 

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .

it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

 

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

things you must build upon in order to have a solid

emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson,

love the person, and put what you have learned to use

in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

 

link removed

[BigKillaPoet]

I can see the point...I unfortunately have to agree...

[massinova]

This theory is a very idealistic one and it is a very nice idea...

 

But from reading these three "categories" that relationships might fall under, I am going to have to disagree that they only fall under one, or any for that matter. I don't think their are categories like that. Take all three of those 'categories' and put them together. That may be how relationships are as well; a mix of all three.... or a relationship could be something completely different.

 

I am a slightly religious person... Meaning I have faith in God. And I feel that relationships are for us to learn from. As is everything in our lives. So there is not much point, in my opinion, to categorize relationships like this.

 

Relationships and situations in our life happen for reasons. And it's these reasons that we have to figure out; and then learn from them.

[crookster_man]

Well massinova, I do agree this is a very idealistic theory.

 

The purpose of this post is not to lay out a map of relationship, but to give people an idea of what a relationship can do for them and how it can affect them. It's all about putting things into perspective.

 

In fact I'm glad you brought up this point. I was afraid no one was going to get the point of this post. It wasn't about plastering up some email chain letter (Which I have found out this post is). In fact I just wanted people to put their own relationships into the proper perspective.

 

Some people come into our lives for a simple reason, they come, they teach and then they leave. I, and many other members on this site, would be this person to all those seeking advice. They ask for help, we do what we can and we part ways.

 

The idea of the "season" was to show people that their Exs are just that, someone who came and went, they are not a life partner so their loss shouldn't be viewed as such. Of course they do teach us something. That is the point of every relationship we have whether plutonic or romantic.

 

So basically I just wanted everyone to take a look at their relationships that they have had, are currently in and will eventually embark upon. I wanted them to put them in their proper perspective.

 

Seeing how every person is a potential teacher rather then a source of pain is a very healthy and positive way to view life. Our character is judged not by our actions, but by our reactions.

[massinova]

Seeing how every person is a potential teacher rather then a source of pain is a very healthy and positive way to view life. Our character is judged not by our actions, but by our reactions.

I definitly agree with you here.

 

As for putting our relationship in perspective, in my opinion it is a mix of all of those things and more. Unless of course you are in a relationship purely based on sex. But, then its not really a 'relationship.' So, its all I guess a matter best left to the opinion of the ones in the relatioships.

 

But I do feel you on the subject. And I really liked reading this theory. For it does make one think about their relationship(s).

[aragorn80]

I just got out of a year relationship and im 22. It was my first ever and I like your idea of the "season" She came into my life unexpectedly and she showed me something i have never done before, and that was love another person ( other than family ) I lost my virginity to her....so she again showed me something, i got a lot of joy out of being with her as well.....but in the end the season ended so to speak and those feelings she had ( or I guess she had ) left her. The hard part is I fell for this girl and now shes gone..........I miss her and I still love her to death......but I cant force her into something she does not want to do......This only happened yesterday and my world is spinning.......maybe after a couple weeks Ill start to feel better......what do you guys think?

[genello]

to sum it all we need some one to rely on!

[LoriChalker]

I noticed you have "A reason A season and A lifetime" on your website. My husband wrote this and is currently applying for a copyright for the piece. Would you mind adding his name as the author? His name is Brian A. "Drew" Chalker. I noticed that you do not have the original version. At the end of this email, Ive added the original version and would appreciate very much if you would change your page to reflect it.

 

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

 

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilleed; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

 

LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being part of my life.....

 

 

Thanks in advance,

Drew and Lori Chalker

[crookster_man]

Resurrecting some old school knowledge. Maybe it will help you today?

[melrich]

People come into our lives for three different things; for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime. Each relationship we form is under one of these categories, our goal here in life is to grow spiritually, personally and to develop a deeper understanding of ourselves.

 

Yep, I am a very strong advocate of those thoughts (i've not seen this before).

 

Having had a few relationships in my time this rings very true to me.

[Momene]

If we're talking purely about sexual relationships, I think we're driven by 2 things:

 

1. If we're in a "couple" we're more accepted by society (more in England than US)

 

2. The breeding instinct

[crookster_man]

If we're talking purely about sexual relationships, I think we're driven by 2 things:

 

1. If we're in a "couple" we're more accepted by society (more in England than US)

 

2. The breeding instinct

 

I'm talking more about important people who have touched your life. Some might call them soulmates. I'm not talking about the "one person out there for you" I'm talking about the deep connection we share with some people in our lives.

 

It may only be for a reason, it may be for a season or they may be with us for a lifetime.

 

These people are in our lives to help us grow, to teach us something. It may hurt to lose these people because they have touched our lives but we must understand that not every soulmate is meant to last a lifetime. That is the purpose of this post.