aragorn80

Well its been 6 days into my girl of almost a year breaking up with me.....Ive had no contact in 5 days and I dont plan on it either.......I went out last night with a couple of new guy friends to get my mnd off her and it helped alot, just as well as this site is doing wonders as well. I have not had a real bad day since tuesday (I havent cried since then ) and i seem to get through the days ok i guess......I put all her stuff in a box and deleted her numbers out of my phone as well as getting rid of all the emails and addresses too. Always at night I seem to do a lot better than the first half of the day. I work at night and talk to coworkers and such and I always talk to my brother at night......every morning and the first few hours of the day, i am always worse off, ( I think about her, what shes doing and such........Why is this? Thanks for the advice.....(BTW, this was my first girlfriend and lover and relationship)

Its only been 5 days into my very First breakup and on monday, tuesday, I was a complete basket-case and wednesday, although sad, i was a lot better, talking to everyone around me for advice, this website has helped so much.....im still thinking about her and i miss her of course, but i have not cried since tuesday and the relationship was not the best and i ADMIT that.......im trying to stay focused on school, church and since i have no friends, i talked to a girl at work and tonight were going to a club/bar to hang out. im sure it will be a couple months later once im completely fine but i can honestly say i gave 110% in the relationship and she gave about 40%....Sure I pushed her away by stupid jealous fits and smothering her, but in my brain, i do feel this is the best. I love her and all, but i can walk away knowing i loved her the best i could, gave her everything i could and it just wasnt enough...........but it may be enough for the next girl.........even though right now i dont feel like getting involved.......my question is am i getting through this quicker than i should? Or have I accepted what was the faults and is that the key? thanks

im sorry but even though i have no prior experiance with relatinships, i rufuse to feel like this 8 years down the road. hell in 8 years ill probably have a family of my own! Yes ill miss her i and miss her like hell and its only been 5 days........but ill always remember her for being my first but i will not let it be a constant in my mind.....................

well its been about 5 days since my first love and girlfriend broke up with me.. even though i recognize that we did not have the best of relationships, i do feel in my brain that this was the right thing to happen, but my heart keeps thinking about her. I have not seen or talked to her in 4 days and I will not, however much i want to, contact her. I have had a couple good days and there are days that my mind keeps drifting thoughts like, " I wonder what shes doing?" or " I remember that time when...." and i need to know if this is normal. She broke up with me because even though im 22 and mature in a lot of ways, this was my first relationship and i did not know how to react to some situations and i was overly jealous..(you people know how it is) then also as i look back on the last 2-3 months ( we went out for almost a year) i feel she wanted out of it and i would always be stubborn and convince her to stay. We would argue about stupid things and I also recognize that I smothered her as well by always wanting to see her. Then she told me once and for all that she didnt want to be in a relationship with anyone becuse the last 3 years she has been in back to back relationships and now she just wanted time and space for herself. She also has a lot of stress from an OVER protected dad and I guess shes confused about a lot of things on the side as well. so is what Im doing good? Before i met her i never did anything and i was always by myself and i dont have any friends but tonight through a girl at work, im going to a bar/club with her boyfriend to hang out...is this ok for me to do? IM going to leave her alone and after a few weeks, she may even realize that she does want to be with me..is that possible? and at the same time i just want to move on....but i find myself wondering what shes doing and i miss the "actual being with her" ya know?...the contact with her......help with advice please.............

Well last sunday my girl broke up with me after going together for almost a year. The relationship was not the best and I do know that in my brain except my heart really still cares about her. We would argue all the time over trivial things and I think my stupid jealous comments pushed her away. I know thats what happened. You see, I am 22 and this was my first relationship....I may be 22 and mature in all other aspects, but in relationships, Im only 16 or 17, understand? I fell so hard for her but now after being away from her for 3 days I know that this is what shes wanted for a couple months, i think she didnt want to hurt me because she really does care about me......I do know that theres not another guy, I really believe that she meant it when she told me she didnt want to be with no one.....(shes been in relationships almost back to back for 3 years) and she just wants to hang by herself. (all she does 90% of the time is stays home and watches Lifetime) and she dosnt go out cause her dad is WAY overprotective because she has had open heart surgery twice when she was younger and her dad causes her a lot of stress too. (shes 20 ) so anyways , in the relationship, i always gave 100% and felt she only gave 40% and i guess her heart lost interest.......so i feel alright now, feeling between sadness and anger and I went to give her locker key back today at her work and she told her coworkers to tell me she left early when I know it was a lie ( she was in the back and i guess she was nervous or scared to see me) so I wrote her a little letter and it was givin to her. I DID NOT want her to know I was very sad so i put on the mask and wrote that, " Thank you for what you did" and, " you set me free" and, it feels like a weights been lifted and so i guess its goodbye" ya know, stuff like that, cause I wanted a sense of closure and I do feel a little better. Its only been three days so Im sure ill still have my setbacks. Its just hard to believe its over. She was my first love and Lover and i was alone before i met her and its hard adjusting back to being bymyself ( i have no friends ) im trying to stay busy and im going out to a club/bar this friday night to see what that is all about. my question is do you guys think i wrote some good stuff there? I think i may of shocked her because monday the last time i saw her i was a wreck ( crying and aking for another chance ) so today i appeared really happy and like I was ok so im sure that letter surprised her...........anyways, is that good closure, should i just move on now? thanks

it hurts but all I can do is leave her alone and hope she comes around, thats all.......i have to go to work but ill be back later.......thanks

Three months! I hope and pray that this doesnt last that long.....i guess maybe I was thinking a month....with me going to college now and im trying to see what the bar and club scene has to offer, ( just to get my mind off it ) but lets help eacthother. *Update- I just got off the phone with my exes mom telling her thanks for all the dinners and letting me stay overnight because of storms and she said, " Matt, Ill see you again so dont say those things. I dont know what she is doing" so a few people think that after a while of her thinking about it and having the chance to relax by herself, she will call. I hope that is what happens......but I know in my brain that I cant sit around and wait. I will not call her again no matter how much it hurts. I do know she cares about me, right now im just thinking of all the what ifs? ya know, what if I wasnt jealous and what if i only didnt say that one thing, because I think i pushed her away........hell, I know I did, and I cant change that, I can only hope and pray shell give me that 1 last chance to make things right. Im so depressed and I feel like crying and pacing the floor......I never thought being with her would lead to this.........especially after those first couple months, how magical everything was.......Im hurting now though and I know in my brain I must make it through each day, one at a time and if she call........great......but if she dosent ill have to let go and move on............Ya know babydoll, its so easy to say all these things, the hard part seems to be getting your heart to follow...........Please give some advice on my situation..........thanks.......

My girlfriend had me that she wanted to be alone and not be with anyone for a while. She said that she has been in relationships almost non stop for like 3 years and she wants to be alone. Im 22 and this was my first love and relationship. We went out for almost a year, ( she broke up with me 20 days before our year ann. ) Anyways, it was not the best relationship either, we would argue about stupid things and being in my first relationship, i would get jealous alot and i think i pushed her away. I gave 110 % with cards and poetry and i always felt like she gave 40 %.......When she would say I love you, it just didnt sound like it had any meaning, and it got to the point that for the last 3-4 months she said she wanted to quit having sex until she got married. and to me, that just seemed like an excuse. And when I would try to kiss her, it always seemed like a chore, and I was the one always initiating affection. i would always be the one to see if I could come over, she would never really say, " Hey, come over tomorrow! " or " I cant wait to see you " I just dont know what happened to the feelings she had for me. Do they just go? Did my jealousy play a big part? I think I pushed her away. We have broken up like 3- 4 times but we always got back together after a few days apart and this time it just feels so real. I still love her so much, I fell for her so hard and it just seems like shes alright with this and that is what hurts.....I dont know what to do, I keep crying and walking back and forth waiting for the phone to ring and Im scared of being alone. Before I met her I was always alone ( we met at my old work ) and after almost a year with her and doing stuff and watching TV and just doing all those things that couples do, I just cant seem to let go......This only happened 2 days ago and i already put her things in a box, (everything) and im just going to leave her alone no matter how much i cry and hurt. Maybe after 2-4 weeks of being alone and thinking and getting her space she will realize what she had. Thats what i hope and at the same time I just sit around. I am just so and lonely and I wish she would call. What should I do ? please help.................thanks

hey people, two days ago, my girl left me cause she said she didnt want to be in a relationship anymore and she just wanted time for herself. We would always argue about stupid things and i just cant help to remember memories of how perfect everything was in the beginning. we went out for almost a year and it was my first relationship as well and the first girl i ever loved. (Im 22 ) my question is i am so hurt and depressed and i feel like crying all the time because of how much i loved her and i loved being with her.......i just think she lost that feeling for me.....what do i do now? I dont have any friends and the only people i know is at work. I put away all her things and i took her and her familys numbers out of my phone. Its hard for me trying to remember how life was before her because i never really did anything before we met. (We met at my old workplace) How long will I feel like this? what are the steps..........even her mom thinks that well be back together because she just thinks that her daughter is confused or something.....should i just leave her alone and give her proper time to think to see if thats whats she really wants? should i wait a couple weeks to see what happens or get my self out to clubs and such.? its just sucks that i fell so hard for her and i gave so much time and not to have it returned hurts, ya know? please give advice...............

I just got out of a year relationship and im 22. It was my first ever and I like your idea of the "season" She came into my life unexpectedly and she showed me something i have never done before, and that was love another person ( other than family ) I lost my virginity to her....so she again showed me something, i got a lot of joy out of being with her as well.....but in the end the season ended so to speak and those feelings she had ( or I guess she had ) left her. The hard part is I fell for this girl and now shes gone..........I miss her and I still love her to death......but I cant force her into something she does not want to do......This only happened yesterday and my world is spinning.......maybe after a couple weeks Ill start to feel better......what do you guys think?

Anyone out there with (mature) advice, please help! Ive been going out with this girl for a little over 11 months and it has not always been the greatest. (Keep in mind that im 22 and this was my First love and first girlfriend) We would see eachother in the beginning like 10 hours a day because we met at work. That much time was too much I guess.......We would argue in the beginning about her ex cause she got out of that relationship like a month before we starting dating. We would always be jealous of another and fight over trivial things, mainly cause we saw too much of eachother. Other than that we "seemed" to be doing fine, we hung out and watched movies, went to a few places and we went out to eat a lot. Over the course of about 5-6 months we tapered off of going out that much because I wanted to save some money and at first she understood, then I think it became a problem in her mind that we didnt do that much anymore. I think we got too relaxed in the relationship as well. We were very sexual at first as well, then about 3-4 months into it, that slowed down as well, cause she was kinda religious, I always thought she lost "that" interest in me, and I caused a lot of pressure when it came to sex, I know now I should have just respected her. When it came to gifts and such I would go out of my way, like on each of our 1 month anniversarys, I would make a card on the computer or buy her one and get a couple of small gifts...she would never really get me anything or show a lot of interest. Why didnt she?? When it came to showing intimacy and showing me love, she always had a hard time...Why?? We even talked about marriage in the beggining, and I even bought her a $500 engagement ring! ( I couldnt really afford it, I told her that and she was mad for like 3-4 days.....I felt bad so I bought it ) Other than that, I knew we didnt have the best of relationships, I think that after 11 months, it should have lasted maybe only 6 or 7....We have broken up before, and she would always call after like 4-5 days......Today marks the 4th day of our breaking up. I think, too, that we were kinda codependent on eathother, ya know, even though we fought a lot, we felt the need to be wanted, because I dont have that many friends and I got so used to her around. Ive stuck to my guns though and I havent called or paged her, I figure, she left me, Im not gonna chase her, if she wants to be with me, then she will contact me. It is SO HARD though, I loved her with all my heart and I would have done anything for her. I find myself with a loss of appetite, and Im pacing the floor because Im alone again......I honestly feel like I gave 110% and she only gave maybe 25% Please help me with some advice on moving on.........advice on whether or not she really cared, and what she might have really thought of me.......( Honest, mature opinions please ) Oh yeah, her reason for the break was, " I just dont want to be in a relationship at this point, i dont want to be with anyone, I dont mean to hurt you ".............and she did it over the phone......