So how much does a guys looks really matter to a girl?

[Salucious]

I think people say looks matter because they are so obvious right away. You can point out a girl on the street to me and I'll be able to tell you within several seconds whether I think she is physically attractive. I believe most people want both personality and looks in a mate. Looks are obvious and thereforeeee will be the first to be searched for if they are important; you don't see many guys hitting on the fattest or ugliest girl in the bar. Once you pass the looks test, (like people said above it is binary) you have to pass the personality test. You either need physical attraction or you don't. Unfortunately some people need only looks, usually just for sex or their own superficial satisfaction. I would believe some cases where personality "overcomes" looks, but these are exceptions and shouldn't be looked at as holding any truth or as a possibility for others.

 

Bottom line, most people of course need personality. Some need looks, some don't. The ones that do shouldn't be looked at as superficial it is their choice. But I believe there are people who don't need looks. And I wouldn't peg people who do and do not need looks; (I don't believe all good-looking women need good-looking men or vice-versa) It is the individual who decides what they want in a mate. You'll come accross people you want to be with that will reject you for not having what they want and you will do the same to others. Just my $0.02

[Carnatic]

Captain Planet do you have to respond with a meanlingless post everytime you disagree with something.

 

Didn't you also post earlier arguing that literally 'girls don't like boys girls like cars and money'. You seem to have very little faith in the opposite sex, and seem rather convinced that if a guy isn't good looking with loads of money and a flashy car then he might as well just give in. I don't know what experiences have led you to be so cynical but trying to convince the rest of us that your cynicism is right and guys like us don't have a chance isn't really a constuctive step forward.

[CaptainPlanet]

I'm not cynical, I see nothing wrong with wanting wealth, I one day hope to marry a woman who makes more money than I do. Which shouldn't be too hard as I am a storeman. Its not cynical to assume the way you look will exclude you from some women, its realistic. What do you mean by guys like us ? Thats a terrible attitude you're assuming you're not good looking. Why would you assume that ? I've said constructive things, the only constructive thing that you can say to a man regarding women imo, is to keep trying with as many women as possible. I've always maintained that, because it works.

 

Looks include the way you dress, the social typish image you present by choice of clothing stlye, hair style ect. And given it is fairly well known that people form their opinion of you in the first 45 seconds of them meeting you, that looks clearly are going to have a bigger impact than anything you can say in 45 seconds. They tell the other person so many things about you. A picture can tell a thousand words. It is a very true. The way you look simply is a picture of yourself to that other person.

 

Why should you care if i say ugly guys don't have a chance with the hot ones. If they reject you because you're ugly, in your book they probably don't have a good personality and it shouldn't matter. Their looks should be irrelevant next to their personality so who cares if they reject you based on your looks. If looks are only 50% then they're only 50%, you shouldn't be concerned then about not being able to get with the really good looking ones. Whats more, you should approach as many women as possible , regardless of what anyone says, even me ! its all good practice. That 10% is still important but is regardless, but still only 10%.

[Carnatic]

Well you say now that if a girl rejects a guy because she finds him ugly then he shouldn't care because she probably doesn't have a good personality; but you seemed to be suggesting before that all girls only wanted looks, along with wealth and while you say personality is important you still say it is only 10%, if it really was important it would be more than 10%. I'm not trying to say guys can get a girl on personality alone, or that people who pick partners based on looks are being shallow, no matter what the percentage allocated to looks most people still find they have to be there for there to be attraction, but the same can be said for personality, they are about equal parts of the equation.

 

I think a lot of people on here assume they aren't good looking it may seem negative but it's not for me to pass judgement on whether or not they are right and I can empathise with people who genuinely feel that not being good looking holds them back. I've been there, that's why I'm determined to say, not only that 'looks' means different things to different people, but also that they aren't everything.

[close_yet_so_far]

Couldn't have been more perfectly put

[CaptainPlanet]

Looks are a hurdle fail looks fail completely. thereforeeee gets bigger piece of the pie. Men have a tendency to say they aren't good looking when they probably are. People want to take moral high ground. Attraction is segmented by looks. Its same as man woman friend thing. Must like personality else why friend. Why not sex, b/c of looks. Sorry it fact.

bla

 

agree with what you want to believe not with what is true.

ta

cp

 

Looks include the way you dress, the social typish image you present by choice of clothing stlye, hair style ect. And given it is fairly well known that people form their opinion of you in the first 45 seconds of them meeting you, looks clearly are going to have a bigger impact than anything you can say in 45 seconds. They tell the other person so many things about you. A picture can tell a thousand words. It is a very true. The way you look simply is a picture of yourself to that other person.

[Carnatic]

Yes but the point I'm trying to make is that while you may get rejected on looks within 45 seconds of meeting someone, that doesn't make looks more important than personality. It may take a bit longer to get the measure of someone's personality but that doesn't mean that you won't get rejected if you fall short in that respect. To use your analogy looks may be the first hurdle, but personality makes up the rest of the race and you are just as likely to fall at the last than you are at the first.

 

And I'm sorry but most of that post didn't make any sense. The first paragraph was just a random jumble of words and phrases designed to make it look like you are an obscurantist academic whose word should be taken as gospel whether we can understand it or not.

[Miss M]

Sometimes I've rejected someone based on personality in even much less time than 45 seconds. Sometimes the personality is so ugly, or horrible, or blah, it happens in a split second... and sometimes he doesn't even register on the radar screen at all.

[CaptainPlanet]

We can argue this until the cows come home, I’ve always had this idea that people perceive you the way you look. What someone thinks of your personality is a perception and a perception has to be influenced by what you see. And when it comes to attraction there are to many obviously visual things I keep hearing about from both men and women for me to consider looks to be any less than the major part i.e 90%.

Personality might stem from how you look.

 

I don't even know what obscurantist means, better look it up I'm sure I'll use that one heaps.

 

1. opposition to the increase and spread of knowledge.

2. deliberate obscurity or evasion of clarity.

 

Yeah, because I think personality is a secondary episode of attraction. IMO approach as many women as possible and it sorts itself out.

 

"You either need physical attraction or you don't. Unfortunately some people need only looks, usually just for sex or their own superficial satisfaction."

 

Why is it superficial ???? what is wrong with wanting a physically attractive partner for sex. Why does it sound like people see's something wrong with wanting a partners body for sex. Isn't that normal ?? aren't we meant to see a healthy good looking member of the opposite sex (or same sex... ) and want them for sex ? Why is it so unreasonable and out of the question that looks might make up the biggest part of attraction. It almost seems like there some sort of taboo in this discussion that attraction might simply be a primal uncontrollable urge we have that cannot be justified intellectually or logically. It just might be what it is, Primal and Physical.

 

Well that was fun, I think I'll go back to the real world now. I'll go use my dazzling personality on the women who won't even talk to me because shes tall and blonde. Then I'll go hit it off with some brunette at the bar, who the entire time thought i'd make a really good friend. My confidence might be a litte lower at this stage, so I guess I'll go drop my standards a bit and go talk to the slightly chubby girl in the corner, look at that ! we hit it off. O man now we're making out like we never did it before (we might not have), that was definently our personalities that clicked. We weren't both looking for the most physically attractive partners we could find.

[charley]

Well, as with anything, I'm sure it all depends on the woman's preferences how much looks matter. Also, each woman has her own tastes about preferences for looks. i.e. - her own idea of what looks good.

 

I can tell you this, I was a "pretty boy" when I was 23 and 24. That attracted many women, but then my lack of ability to talk to them wasted nearly every opportunity. FYI - the term "boy" does not have a negative meaning in the Northwest like it does in the South. Around here it just means young. So I have no problem referring to my former self as a boy.

 

I'm still reasonably good looking today, especially for my age, but I know I don't look half as good as I used to. Guess what? More women like me now than before. I think that is because I'm more relaxed than I used to be and improved and still improving at talking to them.

 

I also have heard from some women that they don't want a guy who's better looking than she is. So maybe slightly good looking man is better than very good looking. Maybe. All depends on the woman.

 

As a man, what you say and do counts far for than what you look like.

 

You appear good enough looking to approach any woman. So it's now all about your behavior. If you made eye contact with the camera and smiled, I think you'd gain points in all areas - looks, confidence, friendliness, etc. There are other behavior issues to. For example, I'm not a player and don't want to be.

[charley]

I know this one guy who is honestly a 5/10 in looks and he is having sex with 3 girls consistently every time I talk to him. And he's broke as a joke. I actually think he's pretty annoying. If what you're saying is true, then how is this possible?

 

What's a 5/10?

[Carnatic]

Why is it superficial ???? what is wrong with wanting a physically attractive partner for sex. Why does it sound like people see's something wrong with wanting a partners body for sex. Isn't that normal ?? aren't we meant to see a healthy good looking member of the opposite sex (or same sex... ) and want them for sex ? Why is it so unreasonable and out of the question that looks might make up the biggest part of attraction. It almost seems like there some sort of taboo in this discussion that attraction might simply be a primal uncontrollable urge we have that cannot be justified intellectually or logically. It just might be what it is, Primal and Physical.

 

Go on then, point me to where I said that... I can show you many times, one on the prevous page where I said I don't believe that wanting a partner you find physically attractive is wrong... I even find it annoying when people on this site take the moral high ground because they claim not to be interested in looks at all.

 

You do seem determined to put words in my mouth so that you can disagree with them. The only thing I can see is that you seem determined to start off by pointing out that looks do play a part in attraction (of course they do) but then taking that to say that looks play every part. I mean since we've discounted people who only need looks as being after sexual gratification only then we need not discuss that... unless any of us are only after sexual gratification.

 

And by the way, the example you gave in your last paragraph there appeared to be entirely about trying to get sexual gratification.

 

Fact is that even if you are good looking, you won't find a girl willing to start a proper relationship with you unless she likes your personality too. It may seem at times, if you, as I, constantly get rejected for not being good looking enough, as though looks are all that matters, but all it is is that looks are considered first. As I have found from my own experience, blaming your lack of sucess on looks alone is a copout and an excuse to stop trying.

[iwishiknew]

im sure youve all heard this question before, how much do a guys looks matter to a girl?

and just out of curiosity, do u think i would be considered attractive?

 

looks matters alot to girls period!

[iwishiknew]

Looks are huge. Despite what girls and guys say, without good looks = no physical attraction. Physical attraction makes up a LARGE portion of relationships... whether people admit it or not.

 

I'm short, so i just have to suck it up i guess.

 

-ForAnother

 

Thats true also! reason why still today i never had a gf

[CaptainPlanet]

b/c that paragraph wasn't aimed at you carnatic. Line above in quotations, shoud have put who said it but I didn't. Thought you might realise it wasn't you from that but o well.

[Carl5000]

Of course looks matter, usually ppl who aren;'t very attractive themselves like to believe otherwise, as it can become quite depressing. I do believe that actions, speak louder than words. I tell myself i go for girls for their personality, yet how come they need something physically attractive about them in the first place, for me to show some interest. Its all wrapped up in morality and the culture and how you'd expected to behave, a type of poliltical corrective, it probably originates from religion, where your supposed love another person's soul and which avoids the sexual aspect, physical. There r many types of love, from eros, phyllia etc its all individualistic.

 

Its just that ppl want to see themselves as good and won't aloud themselves to view the evil,well so called 'bad' side of their nature(societies ideal). This is very much in line, with freudian theory and his IT, ego and superego. Where your superego which involves morality of ur parents, culture and which restricts what comes into ur consciousness(well truths) and represses those which ur superego perceives as not being upto ur ego ideal of urself(ideals of the world, culture, good, basically morals, ethnics). This can apply to attractiveness, where you block out ur true motives saying looks dont matter, evn i do this, as its percieved as weak and shallow and bad. As kant said 'your never really know your true motives, no matter how hard to try to discover them- all that matters is the right action'. Although this is more morality based, but also stands up to other motives aswell.

 

I don't know what gets my juices following where women r involved, well not fully and i'll never know to what extend looks matter. In the case of women, i can only be myself and do my best. If that isn't good enough, then so be it. This is a pointless exercise ahh its such a complex area, even a good book who struggle to cover it. For sex alone; attractive matters. Relationships, lions share is personality. Although, you need some attraction to get into a relationship in the first place. So if your ugly, your screwed big time.

 

We all have strong egoisms, were shallow, selfish just get on with it, that my attitude. At, the heart were nothing but a bunch of animals and probably pigs is a godo analogy ) irrationality rules reason and the unconscious , rules the conscious. lol i have a cynical view of humanity. You only have to look at wars or say politics and how capitalism pissed all over socialism and communism(equality) as it taps into people's selfishness, greed there isn't much altruism in humanity. Its all very much darwin and the survival of the fittest and that also means the best looking, should help u prosper. A personality isn't difficult to achieve, its a skill and an art, you have full control of it.

 

btw, im of reasonable attractiveness ) so i ain't being bitter in the slightest, yet i still have a pessimistic worldview and that even ventures into physical attractiveness. Even, if i looked like brad pitt, i'd still have a laughable attitude towards myself and the world.

[charley]

I remembered something a guy friend once pointed out to me when we were both about age 23-24.

 

He was ugly, but had a steady stream of beautiful GFs. I was very good looking at that time, but had only about 1% as much success as he did. FYI - 1% of his large number is not so bad.

 

He gave me some advice. He said that rock stars are typically the ugliest dudes on the planet, yet they typically have amazingly hot babes. (His words.) I'd like to add that older rock stars usually look like they've been put through a food dehydrator. Yet... That's right, beautiful women their age and younger still want them.

 

He then went on to say that looks are a different thing for men than for women. What a man says and does and his attitude count FAR MORE than looks. The rock stars being one example of that.

 

That does not mean you have to have a bad guy look and attitude. That wasn't his point. Hey, Donald Trump is a babe magnet in a clean cut way and I don't think anyone would call him handsome. Before anyone yells money, no it ain't so. It's his attitude they dig far more than the money.

 

My looks have dropped over the years from very good looking to slightly good looking due to time and injuries. Never the less, I have more potential right now than ever before because I'm finally coming out of my shell. Confidence in a man counts ten times more than looks, but the confidence has to have some real substance behind it.

 

Women might care about looks somewhat when looking at a photo because they have nothing else to go on, but if you were standing right there in front of them talking to them, then it's 90% or more on your personality. I think women use a man's look as a clue to his personality, rather than an end in itself. That's why I think it's helpful if your look suits your personality. Other than that, I don't think a man's looks matter so much. However, we all want to look as good as we can to gain any extra boost possible.