Should I trust him?

[LunaL98]

I'm in a recent (two month) relationship with a guy that I dated back in high school. After not having seen each other for 6 years, we re-connected recently and everything was absolutely wonderful - we got back together.

 

Well he likes to have lots of "party's" at his house and of course on Sat he had a huge Halloween bash with like 50+ people. We all got pretty wasted and I don't remember this but he says I called him an * * *-hole in front of his friends. What I do remember however is him being extremely flirtatious with all the girls there (some more than others) and I was very irritated the whole night. Needless to say, I had a crappy time so I probably was acting a bit * * * * *y. Nonetheless, 1:45am rolls around and I had retreated to the bedroom to get away from the obnoxious party-goers when I received a text message from one of my bf's close friends (who I am also friends with through him). The text says this:

 

"AAHHH! I hate to say this! This is "so-and-so" by the way! Be careful please! You are a great girl i'd hate to see you get hurt!"

 

I called him (the friend) back the next day and asked him what he meant by this and he said it was no big deal, he had probably just had a little too much to drink, but he knows about my bf's past and was a bit concerned. To me, this sounds like total BS and it also sounds like mr. "so-and-so" may have witnessed something that he (soberly) is choosing not to tell me. Am I jumping to conlusions or should I legitimately be worried here? I really don't want to get my heart broken so I am backing off for now until I can figure this out. I can't say anything to my bf because I don't want him to get mad at the friend so now he thinks I am being really * * * * *y. What should I do?

 

Thank you!

[cchurting]

I would wonder if the texter has a thing for you? If you can honestly rule that out, than I would take it seriously and wonder as well. Be cautious. However, you have no evidence that he cheated (do you?), so I would drop it before it destroys your relationship.

[ultraviolet]

Forget the friend for now. Whether or not what he texted is true, I'd believe what you saw with your own eyes merits a talk. Even if you were seeing things through the eyes of beer goggles and jealousy, if you two are committed to each other, your bf should care about your feelings and tone down the partying if he knows that what might result would hurt you and the relationship. Give him a chance to make amends. He doesn't have to stop partying, but if he refuses to change at all, you'll have to decide if this is the kind of guy you want to continue to invest your feelings in.

[confused25]

Ew, your bf flirted with other girls in FRONT of you? That is really disrespectful. You have every right to be upset at him! I def do not think that you should tell your bf about what his friend said to you. If I were you I'd just confront your bf about the flirting at the party and let him know that it was not cool.

[Momene]

Watch his behaviour like a hawk over the next few weeks. If it drives you nuts, dump him anyway.

[LunaL98]

This is all great advice, thank you all very much. I will do what all of you are suggesting; I will keep a close eye on things over the next little while, without being obvious or too posessive about it, and basically let this one incident go.

 

We have discussed the flirting thing and he said that next time he has a party, he will pay more attention to me and personally take me around and introduce me to people. I will try it one more time for him - but if the next party is as awful as this last one was, I'm going to have to ask him to tone the party life down a bit because it is not a lifestyle that I want to be a part of. He also says that around new years, one of his friends comes out to visit and they always have a guy's night and go to the strip club. I have that to look forward to now also...woohoo. Sounds like a great catch doesn't he?