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cchurting

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  1. cchurting
    I've been the dumper and the dumpee. I healed more as the dumpee.
  2. cchurting
    Hi I don't know if my posting will help you or not, but I am going through something similar. I was once at the place of the people you are describing. I guess I got all that crap out of my system. However, it seems like everyone, even at my age, wants to just get wasted and hookup. It almost seems to get worse after one turns 21. Well, I think it is great that you aren't like the lets-get-wasted-and-hook-up type. I think that is a very attractive quality and you will meet someone who shares the same values. I would attribute your feelings just to growing up. Its hard to grasp sometimes, but I think it all falls into place eventually. However, you do mention that you don't like to meet people. Just out of curiosity, do you work? If so, do you work at a job where you interact with strangers?
  3. cchurting
    Teardrops, I read all your posts and I thank you for writing. Not only is it very insightful, but I think it will also give some warnings to potential abusers. I have experienced a couple of things on that list. Fortunately, they happened at a time where I was still living with my parents so they witnessed some of it. Otherwise, I feel like I would have stayed and would be posting all of what you have here. I am so sorry for what you have gone through. It is a hard lesson of life, but you made it through! You are alive and now know what you will NOT ever put up with, ever again. Some people don't ever learn that lesson. I agree with some of the posters that you need to take your experience and help others, such as a high school. You are a gifted speaker of thought. I feel your post already may help some people here at ENA.
  4. cchurting
    It sounds like you are on the right track by recognizing your patterns. Step back and soul search for a while. Often, people use self-destructive behaviours, such as drinking and sex, to fulfill a need. Not a physical need, but an emotional or social need because something is lacking in their life. You can find that intimacy you crave, but you have to work on yourself first.
  5. cchurting
    No contact = removing yourself from the situation. Often, when in a relationship you see everything through rose-tinted glasses. By no contact, you officially remove the glasses.
  6. cchurting
    Confused41, How is your situation going?
  7. cchurting
    Hi, I went through the same thing. I lived with my boyfriend for a couple of weeks after the break, because neither of us had anywhere to go. It was awful to say the least. What I did? Found ANY reason not to be at home, only to sleep. My ipod was my best friend; I pretty much had it on at all times. It seemed to keep me distracted, which is what I needed at the time. I called my friends and did things I enjoyed, such as shopping and going to dinners. Took lots of long drives, looking at my dream houses. Keeping my hopes for the future alive. A word of advice though: make sure you set living boundaries. AKA, no people of the opposite sex over, always come home at night. Even though you are broke up, you will always be wondering where he is if he doesn't. Hope this helps.
  8. cchurting
    No , I don't think you are crazy for still having feelings for the guy. You may have had an incredible emotional bond with him, even after 4 months. But I do think you are going to drive yourself crazy if you keep sleeping with him. It is keeping you emotionally attached to him. If you didn't weren't still emotionally attached him, you wouldn't be checkin his friendster profile right? Some people can have no-strings attached intimacy. It doesn't sound like you are at that level with him, which is normal and completely human when you have feelings for someone. However, it may be really hard not rip off his clothes whenever you meet up with him. You might want to consider cutting ties, at least for a while. Be well!
  9. cchurting
    It sounds like there is some greater issues here beyond her getting high. She is using drugs to escape her problems. thereforeeee, they are not being addressed. Hence her little breakdowns. LIke Ben Harper sings "Now the drugs don't work, They just make you worse" I think this woman needs clarity, but only she can provide that for herself.
  10. cchurting
    amyeelee, I must say, congrats on moving on. You seem like a really strong person. From what I am gathering from your post, it seems like you and your ex just were not meant to be. You broke up with him to begin with, but not before you had 100% closure. So you got back together, and finally got the closure you were looking for to begin with. The roles seemed to have slightly reversed now, where your ex doesn't have 100% closure and is not confident with his decision to end the relationship. The same step you were at before you two got back together. You do have a right to be sad about a big chapter of your relationship life coming to a close, but look at what you have to look forward to now! I think eventually it will balance itself out and you will both have peace. You seem like you are in a good place right now. You are learning what you want out of a relationship, and your current partner is giving you what you need, compared to what your previous relationship was lacking.
  11. cchurting
    All I can say to the previous responder is that I don't think it matters who dumped who. They were both upset over not being with each other. All that really matters is that something wasn't going right in the relationship for it to come to a standstill. I think if he had feelings for the "disposable", he would be with her now. The issue here is her pain about him moving on so soon. Very understandable pain. Now she has to decide if she can still love him again. I think she does love him, otherwise she wouldn't be writing on ENA. Another issue to point out though, is hopefully the issues that broke them up in the first place are fully addressed.
  12. cchurting
    I really like the self-tanners at cosmetic counters in dept stores. A wee bit pricey, but may be worth it to avoid the orange. Estee Lauder and Lancome have been good ones for my scandanavian skin.
  13. cchurting
    I have to give the motherly advice on this one... If you have a history of skin cancer in your family, DONT GO! I had pre-cancerous moles from only going tanning 3 times. But if there is no history, have fun. Just don't burn.
  14. cchurting
    I found that yes, it is really hard to study in high school when it seems like nobody else cares about it. My advice? Study now, so you have the skills to do it in college. I did horrible for the first year of college due to my lack of study skills. I found it is virtually impossible to study in a familiar environment. Too many distractions, ie TV, wanting to eat, sleep, whatever. Go to a library, or a coffee shop to study. You won't have as many of those distractions. Even a half hour a day makes a big difference. Good job on being proactive in your education. It will truly pay off for you sooner than most.
  15. cchurting
    Andyg, Take a class, something of interest. If you are artsy, take a ceramics class. Etc. Volunteer. You meet so many people that way, all with their hearts in the right places. Just do stuff that is out of the norm. Don't do it to be looking for a mate, just do it for yourself. If you keep doing things for yourself, you will inevitably meet more friends. And through these friends you will create the links that the above poster was mentioning. Good Luck!
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