Riggz41510 Posted October 31, 2006 Author Share Posted October 31, 2006 I totally agree!! NOT MY WORDS Marriage. The legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife. After you factor out religion, children, and tax breaks…is there really a need for this "legal union?" Not at all. "But Janie…my fiancé loves me and wants to make our love official". You keep telling yourself that. In reality, he just doesn't want to lose you. And in reality, you just don't trust that he'll stay unless you make him legally bound. I believe in true love. I do. But I don't think you have to say "I do" to make it last. Sliding a ring on someone's finger does NOT equal forever. True love = forever. No rings, no stepping on a glass, no you may kiss the bride, and no signed piece of paper. Just the idea that you have to be with ONE person for the rest of your life is hard enough. Instead of making your lover "have" to be with you, how about finding someone that "wants" to be with you. If your love is real, why does it need to be recognized by law? When two people love each other, do they really need a child-molesting priest to tell them it's legit? No. It's all ceremonial BS that probably started back in the Stone Age while men were dragging around their wives by the hair. Really…aren't we past this? And don't get me started on the ceremonial BS that is a wedding. Weddings aren't about love; they're about appearances. This outdated ceremony has become the most important day of a woman's life. How pathetic. To men, it's become an excuse to cheat one last time at the bachelor party, before it's considered adultery. People are spending thousands of dollars to express their love in public. While you're fighting over floral arrangements and whether to serve fish or chicken, children are starving. Try donating that 50 grand to feed the children…not the 250 guests your mom invited that you don't even know! If marriage is truly a way to show your love and devotion to someone, in sickness and health, for all the days of your life…then why do approximately 60% of these blessed unions end in the big D? It's all a scam. When I did a Google search for "marriage statistics," the first fact to come up was "4 out of 5 men regret marrying." So why the heck are they doing it? Because they're p******. And you girls are just as bad for making them do it. Instead of tying a knot around your lover, how about just tying your legs around him and giving him some sex every now and then. Rumor has it that most marriages are sexless after the first couple years. Is wearing a big diamond ring really worth the risk of ruining your sex life? I think not. I understand that the majority of you are still going to get married. You have to. Society has trained you to follow that path. But I urge you just to think about WHY you're doing it. If your love is a healthy, trusting, secure, passionate, real kinda love…then you don't need a "legal union" to make it last. Just make each day count. That's something worth saying "I do" to. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Well I'm basing this on past experiences, and other people I see around me.. It always starts out happy, trusting and loving.. What happens when one party cheats or decides they want out.. Even if someone cheats, they still shouldn't have to financially compensate someone after a divorce.. Like I said before the FACTS are over 60% of marriages end in divorce.. That's more than half.. I'm just curious.... what are you trying to get out of this thread? I mean, we're not dating you or asking you to marry us. what are you trying to say? if you don't want to get married, or at least want a prenup, i think that's your perogative. so why try to convince people one way or another why marriage isn't a good option? Link to comment
Riggz41510 Posted October 31, 2006 Author Share Posted October 31, 2006 What guarantee is it that we are going to grow old together?? Ask people who have gone through divorces, how much fun it is?? My priorities is *ME*. I'm using common sense and not just running and doing what she wants because we are in love right now.. How many people have done this and end up in divorce court in a few years.. Again let me state this.. I love her, but I love ME more!! Link to comment
rose2summer Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Like I said before the FACTS are over 60% of marriages end in divorce.. That's more than half.. Well, that's a statistic, you need to look at who these individuals are, what their situation was, at what age did they marry, a percentage provides little information about the underlying mechanisms and reasons behind the divorce. According to the mayo clinic, men have a nearly 50% chance of developing cancer during their lifetimes. link removed Does that mean you should not use your cell phone, microwave, or any agents associated with cancer? I mean if 50% of men are getting it, why even go outside and expose yourself to dangers? I am not arguing with you just trying to set things in perspective here. Link to comment
PittItaliano Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Look.. All this true love talk sounds good in theory.. I love her, but I love myself more!! I'm not willing to put it all on the line and hope things work out. Isn't real love about loving another more than yourself? That's what I thought anyway. I think you need to tell her that you love yourself more than her, she may not know. She obviously cares for you more than you realize if she wants to marry you. Maybe a break up would be the best option in the end Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 My priorities is *ME*. I'm using common sense and not just running and doing what she wants because we are in love right now.. How many people have done this and end up in divorce court in a few years.. Again let me state this.. I love her, but I love ME more!! and like i said, you just don't sound like a good candidate for marriage. maybe you should be telling her all of this, not us. Link to comment
Riggz41510 Posted October 31, 2006 Author Share Posted October 31, 2006 Where did I say i want to be a bachelor and not have any kids.. All I said was I don't want to be married.. Why can't we have a loving happy relationship without a contract?? Its so funny how everyone automatically assumes, I don't want a relationship, didn't want to be in love, I don't want children etc.. I want all these things.. I just don't feel I have to sign a contract to do these things.. If a woman loves you.. She should care for you in the nursing home whether you are married or not!!! Link to comment
Riggz41510 Posted October 31, 2006 Author Share Posted October 31, 2006 it's statements such as these that show you have little regard for her as a human and a partner. I was just interjecting a little comedy.. Sorry if I offended anyone.. I was just trying to be funny Link to comment
rose2summer Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 If a woman loves you.. She should care for you in the nursing home whether you are married or not!!! You just said you love yourself MORE than her, so why should she? You have provided no incentive for her, she is just a vagina in your eyes for you to use. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Where did I say i want to be a bachelor and not have any kids.. All I said was I don't want to be married.. Why can't we have a loving happy relationship without a contract?? If a woman loves you.. She should care for you in the nursing home whether you are married or not!!! you know, this argument can be turned around. if you love her so much and she means the world to you and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, why not sign one piece of paper? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 I was just interjecting a little comedy.. Sorry if I offended anyone.. I was just trying to be funny yeah, it's not really funny, and doesn't appear that you care too much for your gf/exgf if you are talking about her "vagina use." Link to comment
rose2summer Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Where did I say i want to be a bachelor and not have any kids.. All I said was I don't want to be married.. You did state you want to be a bachelor, without directly using the term. A bachelor is a man who has never been married. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 you know, this argument can be turned around. if you love her so much and she means the world to you and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, why not sign one piece of paper? My thoughts exactly. If the two of you love each other, you'd both be willing to communicate and compromise here. Wow... I can't believe you are 150% against marriage and she is 150% against a prenup. You both sound stubborn. Link to comment
Riggz41510 Posted October 31, 2006 Author Share Posted October 31, 2006 I don't think the posters here are saying anything about protecting your finances. We are trying to get at the psychology of you both. If you decide to not get married, it's unlikely some woman will want to remain around into old age to care for you. Realistically speaking, most women want that sense of security that comes with marriage, as we were raised that way, it's a psychological evolution that's difficult to battle. I hear you.. I have also psychologically evolved. And want to make sure my assets are protected.. Where is my security?? At least she knows that if it doesn't work out, she will be getting a pretty nice consolation prize.. IE.. money, property etc.. Link to comment
PittItaliano Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Okay, that whole 60% of marriages end in divorce thing is not a very good statistic just so you know. Plus many divorces are the same people getting divorced over and over again (i.e. my cousin who is on her third husband and my mom's best friend who is on her fifth). I look at all my friends and their families and almost all of them have perents who are still together and almost all have parents who have been married for 25 years or more. Only two of my friends total have parents who are divorced. TWO! You can't really trust statistics, because you have to look to see where these people are getting the information for the statistic from. I also have to ask why you have this forum? Are you trying to justify your reasoning to yourself? Because it seems to me you aren't really asking for much advice and you are set in what you want, as you said you are looking out for yourself. It just seems like you are the only person that you are looking out for. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Look - I am not here to throw rain on your parade, I respect your decisions and your beliefs, but you need to look at this long-term, I stated my reasons already. I have known people who decided not to get married like you, were well-off, and died a very sad life, as they had no one to care for them, it made me very sad. I like you, had planned to never marry, and changed my mind many years ago as I realized the beauty of marriage if you truly believe in it. Link to comment
Riggz41510 Posted October 31, 2006 Author Share Posted October 31, 2006 You just said you love yourself MORE than her, so why should she? You have provided no incentive for her, she is just a vagina in your eyes for you to use. Gosh!! It seems like people live in Soap operas... Why wouldn't you love yourself more?? All that sounds good in theory.. Well I guise I'm an E.T because I love myself more.. I'm not going to put it all on the line for love.. nope.. not me!! Maybe if more people used common sense in love things would play out easier.. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 I have over a 100 marriages in my family/relatives and none of them has ever ended in divorce, so that's a 100% success rate, so again at ITG mentioned, it depends on the circumstances, the percentage could be people who re-divorce again and again or young couples who marry out of wedlock, only to quickly divorce, who knows, but the statistics do show that if you marry later in life or are a professional, the chance of divorce is less. Link to comment
Juliana Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 "Where did I say i want to be a bachelor and not have any kids.. All I said was I don't want to be married.. Why can't we have a loving happy relationship without a contract??" Because she doesn't want to. She. Does. Not. Want. To. What are you not understanding about this? She wants to get married. She doesn't want to live together for the rest of her life. It doesn't matter who is right, who is logical, who makes the better argument. It's like anal sex; some people want to, some people don't. Some people think it's great, others think it's entirely perverted. To each his own. Why are you trying to convince her, or anyone else, that you are right? Nobody gives a rat's a** if you are alone when you're ninety, or if you get to hang onto all your little toys and money right to the brink of the grave -- nobody cares. It's been said repeatedly, over and over, in this thread: The woman wants to get married, do you want the woman? Apparently, no. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 We're not here to lecture you or tell you what's right, we can just give you our input, and you can make your own choices. If you feel that marriage is not right for you, so be it, but realize there are reasons to every side of the issue, and you should look at it wholeheartedly, instead of just from a financial perspective. Link to comment
Riggz41510 Posted October 31, 2006 Author Share Posted October 31, 2006 Riggz - I think we need to dig deeper here, there is a reason you feel this way. I have some questions: 1) Have you ever been divorced before? 2) Did your parents get divorced and you had to see the repercussions of it? No ma'am.. Never been divorced.. My mom passed away when I was young. My dad is a looser.. So the general consensus here is that people will choose "LOVE" over protecting all there financial investments?? I guess I'm an outcast.. When your broke.. Love won't get you on the bus.. I've worked very hard to achieve what I have.. I had no one growing up, only me!! Why would I want to put it all on the line for love.. Its not worth it too me.. Link to comment
Riggz41510 Posted October 31, 2006 Author Share Posted October 31, 2006 If that's your train of thought, why not just pay someone through your life, so that they will never ask for marriage? That was a joke.. As I said above.. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Please go walk through a nursing home and see how many men there are who are so lonely and sad. Then make your decision and stick with it. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 When your broke.. Love won't get you on the bus.. I've worked very hard to achieve what I have.. Well, you made your decision, are you wanting us to validate it for you? What is the purpose of your thread as you refute every side or detail we make. Link to comment
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