end

[supersonic74]

I was coping with my bad memories...cause of that I was wearing some sorta mask...I wasn't myself anymore...it looks like I having a blast...but in real life I wish I was dead...but my mask was crumbeling away.....a friend kept lecturing me..to do something about it..cuz its bothering me every single day...but I was in denial ..kept saying to myself...everything gonna be just fine...but my selfesteem just gotten the worse of me..as my work doesn't go as I hoped..everything I was touching let to disaster..instead of gold....as I kept losing my friends... I pounder of a bridge, look down and thought of killin myself...but in a verge ..I kinda prosponed it...and decided lets wait for a while..and see where the shoe would fit...as I got home.. sat behind my desk...the same friend was chatten with me...she was sayin "what's got into you?".."this is not how you use to be"..."look at yourself" .."all pathetic and all broken"....as I listen to her lecturing I suddonly said I was thinkin about suicide...I dunno why I said it...it just popped in my mind..thinkin it would be alright and she will just let me be...but she got all angry ...and kept askin me why? why would you think of killin yourself ? you egocentric ...why leave your friends and family with pain and tears in their eyes?...I didn't know what to say...I just replied ...but its my bad memories...it's like some demons that just won't leave me be....as she said..everybody has it's share of bad memories...but it's how you handle it...go swallow your pride you need to seek a proffesional guy..cause everybody hate to see you go down like this...as these words flash me back into the reality I realize that there are really pple that do care....lately I attend that sorta help...all is cool now...all is well

 

I just need to clear this out..thx

[Spugly Fuglet]

its aways good to get it out, its like holding up a gem, pain like that you can see into its colors and shades, the sharp sides and hardness, We pull gems like that out of ourselfs and there they are sparking in the sun light.

cold, hard, not really who we are.

 

We are bigger, we are bigger becuse we can see the pain, there and owr hands. We are water, the sea inside that calls throw time and space, we are the 10's of 1000 of thows that came befor here in our blood, in our bodys in our form and shape. We are Billon moments of life strung out. we are 1000s of steps taken, we are the 10,000's of memarys in others minds.

we are all our words, our deeds, our emiontions.

 

In your hand is a tinny part of all that, such a small thing, feeling momenets cast hard held in time. its falls and is forgot, as all hat we are passis but for a moment and carrys on to find more gems more life.

[supersonic74]

fall back moment....I've deleted all my socialize related accounts like hi5 ...it's sad I tried several times to reach out to my friends...but it's like talkin to a brick wall ...no response ...no reply...the only response are allways pessimistic...you are this and that.... I'm like casper...a friendly ghost ...that just wanna have friends ...but scares pple away...sometimes I don't know what I'm doin anymore...my shrink said just hang out with your friends....but who? there isn't anyone left!

[dil]

Well, I try to find people who have similar interests as myself for friends. If your friends don't want to hang out with you anymore, they aren't your friends anymore. I know about social anxiety, but you need to try to get the strength to get over the social anxiety, it's that or get used to the idea of being alone...which can be pretty painful, so try to get the courage to make some new friends.

[MewSkitty]

Congradulations! You won the Ginius Book Of Work Records award for the longest secentece ever! Now you have something to live for!

 

Why did I say that? To lighten up the mood. I used to be just like you, living on my bad past and not a bright future or present. Just try to change your outlook on life. I wish I could tell you how I did, but I can't because it just happened. I woke up one day to find myself no longer living on my past and planning a future in an optomistic way. I now deal with my past in comical ways so that they don't seem so bad. Like the saying goes (for me at least) "One year from now we'll be looking back on this and laughing our butts off." So, first try and make jokes of your bad past, and see if it helps make you feel better. I'm not sure how this'll work because everyone reacts to a mixture of comedy and trama differently.