Who shows up? Marathon Man or Minute Man?

[Venturer]

Hi, I'm a 27 year old male and I have a bit of a problem with premature ejaculation. First a little history. I have had only a couple of girlfriends and a few flings here and there, so my sexual experience is limited, but not totally lacking. I visit quite a few porn sites and masturbate 3-4 times a week.

 

Sometimes when the girl and I get it on, I ejaculate before I want to (within 2-4 min). It doesn't happen every time, but when it does it's kinda embarrassing. The girl usually gives me a look that says, "hey, what gives?" I usually reply, "Don't worry, it happens. Give me 20 minutes, and I'll be ready to go again." Sometimes I do get ready again, and sometimes I don't make it to a second round. A few girls were understanding, but most of them never saw me again. Other times, this pre-ejac bug doesn't bite me... in these cases, I was able to last as long as I wanted. In these times, my penis would be rock hard, but feels less sensitive. In those times when I pre-ejac, my penis is extremely sensitive but not 100% hard. This has especially been the case with blowjobs. To compound the problem, whenever I try to put a condom on, my penis tends to go flaccid. Going condomless, however, is not an option for me unless I'm married! I find that massaging the base of my penis helps a litte, but I often forget these things in the heat of the moment.

 

The problem is, I don't know which one of myself is going to show up before a session - the marathon man or the minute man - especially with a new girl. That concern alone has been putting myself under a lot of pressure, and that pressure can (and has) messed things up.

 

So what I'm asking is... how do I make myself last long every time? All I want to ask for are two things: 1) a girl who is understanding about pre-ejac issues, and 2) the confidence that I can go in and last as long as I want. I know that under certain conditions, I can last very long. But I want to emulate those conditions every time, but I'm not quite sure what these conditions are! Is it what I eat? How often I exercise? Morning vs. Night sex? I find that I like morning sex better and I last longer, but I haven't been able to find a girl willing to spend an entire night with me lately! I feel that I haven't been given enough chances to shine in the bedroom.

 

One more thing, I've done those Kegel exercises for a few months in the summer of 2003, and I found that they help tremendously. I was able to last as long as I wanted and cum whenever I wanted... and that magic went on until the end of 2004. But since then, I haven't been able to emulate the same thing with a girl, but I still can when I'm masturbating. Maybe I should start doing Kegels again? Problem is, I keep forgetting. Any other remedies out there?

 

Thanks for your help.

[BlueCoconut]

Before you get started and all that... Jack off.

[ImThatGirl]

Have you thought about getting into a serious relationship first? If you are in a serious relationship, you will have the opportunity to discuss this with your girlfriend, and she will be more accepting of everything about you. She will work with you rather than walking away. JMO

[Cardinal]

It you are coming so fast occasionally that you barely get hard, you do need to clean the pipes more regularly imo. I have experienced that sensation too and it is from having very infrequent orgasms for me.

 

I do two things with regard to timing 1) I make sure I masturbate at least 1-3 times per day...for me that makes it to where I can last plenty long. 2) I time my last masturbation session before sex so that it is soon enough before sex for me to last long, but long enough for me to stay hard (3-6 hours does it for me usually). Masturbation sleeves have also helped me to last a bit longer when it comes to actual sex 'i think'. They definitely help me last longer when I am getting blowjobs. If blowing your load in foreplay is a concern I do suggest trying a a good masturbation sleeve for awhile to condition yourself to last longer (fleshlight is popular and mimics blowjob directly!)

 

 

I also use pde-5 inhibitors to stay hard but I don't recommmend doing so recreactionally. If a woman is concerned that you are a two minute man on your first sex encounter with her, I would not be too concerned about it if she did not come back. Probably wouldn't work out anyway! Among other things, she is not showing much logic if she leaves for that reason on a first encounter!

[Venturer]

sometimes it takes 3 or 4 minutes and sometimes it takes 40 or 50. usually it is affected by the length of time since he last came.

 

Yeah, thats how it has been with me. by the way, your boyfriend doesn't need to masturbate because he's in a relationship with you.

 

Have you thought about getting into a serious relationship first?

 

Been working on that for a while! I haven't been able to get things going beyond 3-5 dates.

 

It you are coming so fast occasionally that you barely get hard, you do need to clean the pipes more regularly imo. I have experienced that sensation too and it is from having very infrequent orgasms for me.

 

I don't know about that. If I masturbate a lot (1-2+ times a day), it might keep me from being able to get it up when the big moment comes. I just don't know, man.

[Cardinal]

I don't know about that. If I masturbate a lot (1-2+ times a day), it might keep me from being able to get it up when the big moment comes. I just don't know, man.

 

I know what you mean. It is one thing to get it up 3 times a day alone (erection strength doesn't matter that much) and quite another thing to be able to get it up and keep it up for 30 minutes+ several times a day during sex. My solution has been to use pde-5 inhibitors. Unfortunately for men having a strong libido and crazy desire for sex does not imply the ability to easily obtain an erection.

 

I have used the amino acid L-arginine (AAKG = alpha keto glutarate) quite successfully in the past to help with this. I also regularly use stronger drugs though neither I nor anyone else here will likely recommend their use for recreational purposes. L-arginine is pretty safe and over the counter. Small amounts may have other health benefits too. Staying in good cardiovascular condition also is a big plus. Doing regular cardio seems to help me.

 

I bet just modestly increasing the number of times you did it (focusing on adding the extra times in the morning or whenever you don' t normally have sex, you would be ready by night time with or without assistance. And if you end up doing it twice in one day, take the next day off for example. Just give it a shot by modestly increasing the number of times you do it (maybe start by adding one or two more times per week....nothing drastic. You might not have the libido to want it but your refractory period would be pretty much done if you have waited at least 12 hours and you should not have any major blood flow issues.

[Venturer]

You might not have the libido to want it but your refractory period would be pretty much done if you have waited at least 12 hours and you should not have any major blood flow issues.

 

So are you saying that I should space masturbating and having sex with a girl by at least 12 hours to reduce my refractory period? I'm a little confused there...

 

Have you ever tried viagra before? I hear it decreases your refractory period. Not that I'm planning to pop those blue pills... I'm pretty leery of drugs that I've never taken before! Not to brag, but in one of my best marathon sex sessions, I jokingly said that if we kept this up, I might need viagra sooner or later. She laughed and said "you don't need viagra..." that was one of the best compliments I've ever gotten in the sack. But now I want to get myself jump-started and vault myself back to cloud nine... maybe I've been eating too much junk food? What foods do you usually eat, and what do you find that helps you?

 

I'll also get back to exercising that PC muscle as well! And I need to exercise my full body too!

[Cardinal]

I don't know your refractory period. But I think for most men of your age, the longest it could be is about 12 hours before you are capable of achieving another erection. Frankly it could be only 10 minutes for all I know. I was just saying that if you want the most conservative estimate you can wait 12 hours or so. That would just take the refractory period out of the picture. That is all I was saying.

 

I use viagra frequently. If you choose to use it, I think the best way is to dose it in really small amounts to start. 5-10 milligrams is enough for me. I never have used more than 25 mg of viagra. You will likely notice fewer side effects if you start at a tiny dose. It definitely reduces the refractory period. I can do it 2-3 times in an hour on viagra (but then I am pretty much done for a good while).

 

Diet is important. I think taking a good multivitamin/multimineral supplement is very important to ensure proper hormone production. Eat enough total calories to maintain your bodyweight and make sure to get plenty of protein, dietary fat (olive oil or other n-9 fatty acids are great), and good carbohydrates etc. You don't want to signal to your body that you are starving or that you don't have enough vitamins to produce the right hormones.

 

Keep salt intake moderate to keep blood pressure under control and keep bodyfat levels moderate to avoid heart/CV problems etc. Those are just general suggestions but they can help in both the short and long run.

[gattsuga]

try drinking a beer or two beforehand. it helps me with premature ejaculation... in fact it works too good and i can't ejaculate at all sometimes, and i stay rock hard for hours.

 

also you can purchase condoms with some desensitizing lube inside... i don't like using these, as it takes away sensation.. but if you're really worried, it would probably make you last longer.

 

doing exercise is probably the safest/most natural thing you can do. i wouldn't recommend taking pills/drugs, cuz your body would grow accustomed to it eventually... and you'll always have to rely on those pills.