Maverick32x Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 I dont understand... I'm VERY friendly to people, and make "semi-friends" EXTREMELY easily!! but i can never make that extra step to feeling really connected to people... I've had numerous romantic relationships, but I can never seem to make strong bonds with other guys at all... and I don;t know why... as it stands right now, I have one VERY good friend that I tell just about everything to, and we are great friends, and we have a good circle of friends, but for some reason I jsut feel like I'm always on the outside looking in... while everyone else is becoming great friends with each other.... it makes NO sense to me!!!! I go out with everyone, I have the same experiences with everyone, I talk in the group, I make jokes, its not ackward or anything, but i ALWAYS feel like I'm the odd man out, and I have no idea why!!!!! I would like to make that extra step, but I don;t understand why I havent??? This is a bit of a rant, but I'm just frustrated that I can never make strong connections to alot of people, but instead only to maybe one or two Link to comment
satori_0 Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Now a days it is hard to get close friends now. Everyone now seems distant operating through myspace, internet blogs, chats, cell phones, etc you name it. It seems in todays age people like to be private, alone and some prefer that internet outlet, heck if you go to YOUTUBE you'll find loads of lonely people talking to the camera and prefer the love of strangers. I guess its not like before this advent of technology watch shows like Seinfeld, Frasier or Friends and you see that bondness people create. Yes it is fake but you see how they become close friends because they live close by or that destiny brings close people to your life like a coworker becoming a best friend. Well anyway I understand how your feeling about this since I can't keep close friends since as I said communication through cell phones or distance apart ruins close friendships. For now try to form friends and always keep in touch it can eventually turn to close friendship if you keept at it. Link to comment
robowarrior Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 9/10 that you need a make-over and hit the gym to get more attention. Just my 2 cents. Link to comment
Maverick32x Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 lol, I actually do go to the gym quiet a bit.... not really having trouble meeting people i guess, its just the fact that I can never take it the extra step... not really even talking about girls, since oddly enough I have significantly more friends that are girls that guys.... Link to comment
sosolonely Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 it is really hard now to make close friends, usually as you grow older your circle of close friends becomes smaller and smaller due to ageand experience. For me personally I only have 2 close friends who know the most intiamte things in my life and I am happy and contend.. it is perfectly normal to have one close friend.. as a secret is shared between more than 2 won't become a secret any more.. so stick to your close pal and do not worry much.. when you are with a group of friends be yourself don't think much about how others think about you that is you do not talk much or you are not joining in.. be confident and do not pretend to be someone else.. if you wanna be closer to someone you have to gain the trust of that person.. and you have to be ina frequent with him/her.. ot in a clingy way of course.. good luck and enjoy your life. Link to comment
blondebombshelter Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 I know exactly how you feel... I've often wondered the same thing about myself! I have lots of people I'm 'friendly' with, but not all that many 'friends'. Or I'm friendly with lots of different groups of people, but not really a part of the group. I'm also very outgoing, friendly, always hit it off with people... I know for a fact that at least some of the people I meet like me, cos I've had nice comments passed on, or something. I make great connections, but they don't really progress into friends. Or if they do, they'll fizzle out if we stop playing on the same team, or whatever. I've never lost friends because of an argument or anything like that. I truly cannot think of anything I do wrong - and I'm the sort of person that is open to admitting my faults. And now that I think about it... I could be out right now having a coffee with someone and getting closer - but the truth is I would rather be here mooching around at home! I think some people really do NEED to have a lot of social interaction and they're the ones prepared to put the work into it. Who knows... I guess we should be grateful that we have as much as we do... we're still better off than some people! Link to comment
DG9 Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 hi! i have the same problem! i cant make close friends at all! as soon as i think that i can trust someone to make that step, something happens to backfire! i know its frustrating that u have friends but no close friends to turn to, but like blondebombshelter said... we might have it better than others! ive had so many people telling that im on eof the sweetest girls they've ever met and that im one of a kind... and that im so easy to talk to and all that great stuff! but i have noone i can call a close friend! i feel alienated among my friends clique in highschool too! i just think its just something to do with me... i believe that if we just build up ourselves more and not measure ourselves by our friends we will ahve more friends i can easily carry on conversations with ppl ive just met and get along in a crowd! i really feel for u... just concentrate on doing more things! ive taken up more interesting hobbies and force myself to go out more often... but i dont try to make close friends anymore... Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 I have only 2 close friends, and I feel very lucky to have them. Finding "good" people with common interests and outlooks, at least for me, is quite a difficult task, and is one that I no longer wish to pursue. Link to comment
Maverick32x Posted October 31, 2006 Author Share Posted October 31, 2006 hmm... maybe alot of people DON'T have close friends... and it just seems like they do? I don't know ;; I guess its not a big deal, and I am happy to have the close friends that I do have, and happy that I'm not socially ackward Link to comment
onewithbooks Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 Mav~ I understand what you mean about close friends. I have lots of people to hang out with, but who I am super close with, not really. In my case though, I just find it hard to be vulnerable enough to let go of information/emotions that would allow me to do that. I have been burned from close friends and now I just find myself wary. I also totally agree that its harder to make friends as you get older. In terms of the looks like everyone else has lots of close friends, maybe they do maybe they dont. Maybe they are just going through the motions too? Just a thought. Take care! LeAnn Link to comment
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