doubts after 5 years

[MissJBug]

short and sweet

been with my boyfriend for 5 years...first year we were going out...he dumped me and did the single thing and all that stuff and than we got back together

 

now i just turned 21 and recently ive been wanting to go out and party and do all those things...and i have such a good relationship with him that we talked about it and he begs me not to leave and that "its just a turnign 21 thing and everyone goes through it and ill get over it please dont leave"...

 

im currently looking for a job...and HES always working...so maybe i just need a job to occupy my time...we are thinking really REALLY INTO moving in with eachother, but yet i dont want to move in and realize i want to be single...

 

but my mom even said... u never know and you can ALWAYS change ur mind...

 

but i love the kid...and he loves me ... and if we been together for 5 years...we shouldnt just GIVE THAT UP... but again... maybe im just bitter from what he did to me before.... we were so young and stupid...but yet that isnt a good enough excuse for me...

 

i dont know...I REALIZE NOW this isnt a short and sweet message...but i wont go on. because were great ppl and theres nothing i would change...except for the way im feeling now.... i wanna be with him....

 

HELP!

[Beyondthesea]

Honey, the problem probably is you are 21 and have been dating the same guy for 5 years. If you really aren't sure at this point, then you probably aren't meant to be.

 

Personally, I would break up with him if I were you.

 

If reading those words totally freaked you out, and you love him with all your heart, why the doubt? I think you just need to explore that a little more before making a decision.

 

Is it really stemming from years and years ago, or are you just growing apart as you two are growing up? That's very common unfortunately, and it doesn't mean either of you did anything wrong, just that you are growing up.

[confused70]

Dont let your history dictate your future.

[lovecrazy]

My suggestion is maybe partying with him by yourside. I go out with girls only on friday nights...Cause Honestly I found after doing the partying thing after a few months it was just boring to me. i would rather stay at home at night, and hang out with my mother. And I am 23..

 

Try just going out one night with the girls, just explain to your boyfriend, that its a compromise. But dont fight about it...just talk...

[DN]

Just remember that if you break up it may not be possible to get back together if you regret your decision. Don't expect that he will wait for you or take you back.

[MissJBug]

hey i would LOVE to hear more from everyone... it absolutly helps me... i dont want to give up on a great guy...this guys amazing... HES GONNA BE ON COPS when they call and tell us the date it is going to air (hes a cop) hes awsome...i was with him way before he started to succeed... he use to work at pizza hut for cryin out loud...

 

i love him... i LOVE going out with him ...we go out almost every monday with a bunch of ppl and its so much fun.... and when i tell him i am thnking of just being single for awhile...ill get off the phone...and sit there...and want to call him back... and wake up the next day wondering "whats he doing, hey is he working today"....

 

i dont know...its like "THE LAST KISS"...but only... i havent done or will NEVER do anythign to hurt anyone like that.... because ive been hurt like that.... maybe hes afraid that i will do the same thing he has done to me...

 

i dont know... anyone else wanna just blabber on to me..

[JoeWho]

Sometimes when you break up a long termn relationship just to be single or because you havent been single for years and wonder what it is like, you end up regretting it. I have a few friends that broke up with thier girlfriends/boyfriends around your age for this reason and a couple still regret it to this day. I guess I am just saying that before you do anything you better take a long hard look at what your life would be like without him in it at all. No just being friends or maybe we will get back together, gone forever. Because sometimes once you break up and leave someone damage has been done and once that trust is gone sometimes it is impossible to get it back. You said he did it to you years ago so you know how it feels and how hard it must have been to trust him again. If you truly love him though you will not be able to go through with it. Please think this trough thoroughly before you do something you may both regret for years. Good luck

[DN]

I have to say that I do not think you do love him - or at least you do not love him enough. That is not your fault but I do think he deserves someone who really does love him enough to want to be in a good and committed relationship with him. For his sake, as well as for yours, I think you should let him go so he can find another girl who really wants and appreciates him. Remember this is not just about your happiness but his as well.

 

But, as I said above, be prepared to lose him forever.

[Spawn]

we talked about it and he begs me not to leave and that "its just a turnign 21 thing and everyone goes through it and ill get over it please dont leave"

Ouch thats gotta hurt, same thing was said to me by a girl, from a guys perspective- that hurt, listenin all those words hurt real bad....i ma sure your bf must be in this world of confusion right now about whats happennin with your relationship n why things are changing.

 

When i was in that situation i was really committed and didn't expect such a question from ma girl. But people change its a fact, you are 21 and want to explore life, probably date more guys....not at all your fault.

 

At that time i thought i deserved someone who wanted to be in a committed relationship without any of these thoughts. Like i never thought of being single while bein in a committed relationship.

 

If these thoughts are comin in your mind then i did better say to let this guy go, cause i know it hurts real bad being the guy and listenin to all this.

 

But i wasn't there when she asked for ma friendship, i just left without lookin back at all.

 

Cause once i understood there are really cool girls lookin for a committed relationship i just didn't find any point waitin for that girl who had doubts about us or who wanted to break off just to be single and explore life.

[Momene]

A lot of people are scared to split but even "wonderful" people can be replaced if you need to replace them. If you are having thoughts of wanting to be single maybe he's not as great as you tell yourself.