In the bar

[smiles21]

OK, if you notice a pretty girl in a bar you want to talk to, whats a good opening line.. "Hi" Seems pretty goonish.. Im good at talking, just a bit shy.

[heloladies21]

I usually comment on something going on around me. You might have to be a little creative, but it can be about anything, someone in plain view. You can also ask for her opinion on some kind of story. Like some drama your friend is in and what she would do. Nothing wrong with memorizing a few openers, this is almost the only valuable thing I think you should memorize when it comes to talking to chicks.

[Daddy Bear]

if you want an icebreaker, try the simple and straightforward approach: walk up to her, set your drink down, hold out your hand and say, "Hi, i'm ____ , would you dance with me?"

 

of course, this doesn't always work. for example, if there's no band or DJ she will mention this fact, to which you can reply, "That's funny, I hear music." at this point, either she'll blush and it's on, or she'll pour her drink over your head. it's a 50/50 proposition, so bring a towel.

 

it also helps for you to know how to dance.

 

but hey, if you want to make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs.

[Dako]

Polish it up a bit.

 

Maybe 'helo' would drive them wild with passion.

[doyathink]

If your eyes meet and she is interested...you won't need an opening line! All you have to do is start a conversation, maybe comment on how she looks and hopefully it will flow from there. If she isn't interested you should be able to tell by the way she is looking else where and not at you.

[bhzmafia]

maybe comment on how she looks

Only if youre teasing her about it...

 

Hi is always good (goonish? what the hell???) but heloladies idea is nice one as well

[smiles21]

Hmm.. good suggestions, KEEP em coming! Your awesome guys.

[Panacea]

OK - I've had a problem with this for most of my life, and after being divorced it was even harder getting back in the dating scene. I've been trying really hard, and to date (no pun intended), I have not been turned down as of yet, which is very confidence inspiring. Here's an example what has worked out for me:

 

1) Pick the most attractive (to you) unattached woman in the bar. Don't mess around with people you think you can 'pick up'. Suprisingly, a lot of these really great girls are single because NONE of us guys have the guts to talk to them (as they are intimidating).

 

2) Approach them like you would approach someone you respect. Don't look at them like they are on a pedestal because then you will be too busy focusing on how they look, rather than how they feel or wish to communicate.

 

3) Just do it. Don't sit there and think about it. For example: I was at a bar and noticed this cute little blond standing with a friend. I was wondering how to approach her when my friends decided to leave. They started walking out the door and as I went by I said "Hey, my friends are leaving but I wanted to stay and chat with you". She laughed (great sign), and presto - we started talking.

 

4) Laugh and be happy - who wants to hang around someone who is nervous and sweating bullets? The worse case is that they say no, and if that happens, go focus on the other millions of women that will most likely say yes!

[mitch17]

eh men dont dance, just go upto her and introduce urseld and only talk about her, u dont have to be listening but pretend to, women only want to hear about themeslves so feed them that

[Pinkbubbles]

Great advice Panacea.

 

I also admire all you guys out there that have the courage to approach women at the bar or anywhere, cause I know its not the easiest thing to do.

 

My advice to you is based on things that have happened to me and have or have not worked. Avoid using a line. We can usually tell when you guys are using one. A line never really grabs my attention as an honest comment would, try introducing yourself then telling her what you noticed about her (ie her smile or laugh). I also find that guys tend to wait until our friends have left, to dance or to go to the washroom, to make thier move. To me its easier to make conversation with a guy when my friends are around. Its also impressive if a guy takes the time to introduce himself to my friends and tries talking to them as well as me. Not too much cause she might think that your interested in them, but just enough so its not awkward between everyone. I think it also shows that you are genuinly interested when you want to get to know the people I know.

 

I know its kind of a cliche but the best advice is to be yourself, its the most charming.

[rocio]

This thread is a little old, but I didn't catch it sooner...

 

From a woman's perspective:

 

Please don't tease her about the way she looks. For some reason, this was suggested. That's about the last thing you want to do.

 

I liked doyathink's post. Eye contact is essential.

 

Don't talk about your job within the first hour at least. Ugh. I don't know why the guys in Ottawa LOVE to tell you what they do for a living. Seriously, such a turn-off.

 

Just be easy going. Let your personality show. Be witty. Joke around, but don't try too hard. Don't ask her serious questions. Keep the conversation light and friendly (ie: compliment her. Don't make fun of her.)

[Batya33]

OK, if you notice a pretty girl in a bar you want to talk to, whats a good opening line.. "Hi" Seems pretty goonish.. Im good at talking, just a bit shy.

 

The best I ever heard was a simple and straightforward - "hi, how are you" - we went on several dates over a period of 4 years and remained in touch for over ten years as friends. Nice guy.

 

The real answer is to try to meet people during a shared activity, event, sport, etc so that conversation is far easier (i.e. about whatever it is you're doing) - anything you say about a bar is unlikely to be new or original.

[Batya33]

This thread is a little old, but I didn't catch it sooner...

 

From a woman's perspective:

 

Please don't tease her about the way she looks. For some reason, this was suggested. That's about the last thing you want to do.

 

I liked doyathink's post. Eye contact is essential.

 

Don't talk about your job within the first hour at least. Ugh. I don't know why the guys in Ottawa LOVE to tell you what they do for a living. Seriously, such a turn-off.

 

Just be easy going. Let your personality show. Be witty. Joke around, but don't try too hard. Don't ask her serious questions. Keep the conversation light and friendly (ie: compliment her. Don't make fun of her.)

 

If I met someone who was interested in dating me and he didn't tell me within the first hour what he did for a living I would start to be a little wary unless we were deep into a topic of conversation that wasn't related to work. Doesn't have to be said within the first five minutes but if we are sharing information about ourselves and he sees me as someone he might want to get to know better I would assume he would want me to know what he does for a living and would want to know what I do within the first hour.

[rocio]

If I met someone who was interested in dating me and he didn't tell me within the first hour what he did for a living I would start to be a little wary unless we were deep into a topic of conversation that wasn't related to work. Doesn't have to be said within the first five minutes but if we are sharing information about ourselves and he sees me as someone he might want to get to know better I would assume he would want me to know what he does for a living and would want to know what I do within the first hour.

 

Yes, I know that a guy's career is very, very important to you.

 

In general, I think most girls are more interested to know his personality before delving into boring details about his job and degrees and blah blah blah. We're talking about a bar setting here. It's loud and people are there to have fun. There will be plenty of time to brag and prove yourself later.

[Batya33]

Yes, I know that a guy's career is very, very important to you.

 

In general, I think most girls are more interested to know his personality before delving into boring details about his job and degrees and blah blah blah. We're talking about a bar setting here. It's loud and people are there to have fun. There will be plenty of time to brag and prove yourself later.

 

Actually, you are wrong. A guy's career is not "very very important to me." His work ethic and ambition are very important when it comes to choosing someone I would marry. Very different things. To me knowing what someone does for a living gives clues to his personality and I would stop a conversation if a guy bragged about that or anything. I do not think sharing what a person does for a living is presumptively bragging or trying to "prove yourself" - a person who wants to brag or prove himself will do that with respect to everything - what kind of car he drives, who he knows, the restaurants he goes to - ick.

I spend many hours a week at my job and one night a week at my volunteer job and both are relevant to who I am and what I believe in. I also don't want to hear boring details about jobs, degrees, what he had for breakfast or what type of car he has. Again, you are presuming that jobs and degrees are comprised of boring details - but that's just you and your perspective - luckily a minority perspective and sorry you've met so many boring people - luckily I haven't and/or I inspire people to share interesting details (so I've heard)

 

I also get clues about a guy's personality from how he describes his relationship with his co-workers and boss, and staff. I once decided not to see a guy again because the second thing he told me after he sat down for lunch on our first date was that he "works with really dumb people." On several levels that to me was a dealbreaker.

 

As far as being at a bar - you are right - bars are not places I frequent to meet new people. My idea of fun includes interesting conversations whether I am in a bar, waiting on line somewhere or at a party. You are entitled of course to disagree with my definition of "fun."

[prtygrl1973]

OK, if you notice a pretty girl in a bar you want to talk to, whats a good opening line.. "Hi" Seems pretty goonish.. Im good at talking, just a bit shy.

 

BUY HER A DRINK IF SHE COMES UP AND THANKS YOU..... THEN YOU CAN START TALKING