Dorsay Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 My friend and I have been slowly breaking up for the past month. We're great together but I guess the timing is all wrong. All I want is a chance for us, knowing that we may or may not work out. He can't even do that because he said he is in a very unsettling stage right now (that part is true). However, he really wants to continue our relationship. Last week when I saw him, I told him I couldn't continue anymore and it'd be hard for me to have contacts with him. He said he would give me some time to think about the whole thing and asked me not say anything profound. I guess he didn't want to accept that we're breaking up. Although in my mind, it's over, I'm afraid that if he calls, it's going to be confusing and painful. So when he calls, probably in a week or two, should I answer? Should I give a "formal" breakup? To me, it's over. It's very painful but I really don't need a formal closure. By the way, if he's really crazy about me, why is he dating others? Is this his way of telling himself and me that we're not in a committed relationship? Or, is he not really crazy about me? Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I think he's just trying to let you down easy-and trying not to look like the bad guy. Don't answer. If he's wanting to date others, then he's just not that into you. Move on. Link to comment
laboheme Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Although in my mind, it's over, I'm afraid that if he calls, it's going to be confusing and painful. So when he calls, probably in a week or two, should I answer? Should I give a "formal" breakup? To me, it's over. It's very painful but I really don't need a formal closure. By the way, if he's really crazy about me, why is he dating others? Is this his way of telling himself and me that we're not in a committed relationship? Or, is he not really crazy about me? If he's dating others, he's not crazy about you...and he's being disrespectful to boot. When you're in love, you only have eyes for that person... If you feel that you don't need a formal closure, go ahead and don't pick up when he calls! As far as you're concerned (and as far as I can read into it!), it's over now. Delete his number, get rid of his things...do whatever you need to do to start moving on and making yourself happy. Link to comment
Dorsay Posted October 19, 2006 Author Share Posted October 19, 2006 It's very comforting to know that there's support out there. Thank you. I deleted his numbers and email address a couple of weeks ago. I also tossed out everything except a couple of things. When I'm ready, I will ask a friend to keep them for me. Hopefully I will ask them back and toss them out myself. It's hard, but I need to move on. Link to comment
laboheme Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 You're definitely doing the right thing...Having a friend keep something for you is always a good idea. Hang in there! *hugs* Link to comment
Dorsay Posted October 19, 2006 Author Share Posted October 19, 2006 It's very tough for me right now because we broke up exactly a week ago around this time. We both thought that we could work it through. How naive we were. I'm determined there'll be no contacts, but why am I checking my emails? But don't worry, I won't call or email. I write everyday, but never send them out. I hope one day I'll read them and feel proud of myself. It's a painful learning process. Link to comment
Jordan5571 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I think he's just trying to let you down easy-and trying not to look like the bad guy. Don't answer. If he's wanting to date others, then he's just not that into you. Move on. I recently accepted that the truth hurts. More than a few people said the above to me. I felt sick becuase of it. Becuase I know its true. After 2 years she all of the sudden was over me. She made it seem slow and like it was just a break type thing. But I realize now it wasn't, she just wanted to make things easier for me becuase she did love me. I think Michelleth is right. It sucks, but there are other people out there who are better and wont leave you or date others, and certinly are more respectful. Hang in there. Love, Jordan Link to comment
Dorsay Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 Oh no, he's calling now. I just let the phone ring.... Link to comment
Dorsay Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 It hurts. I listed to the message 3 times. He called to say hello. He made it sound our breaking up is easy for him. I erased the message. No, I'm not going to call. It hurts alot. Link to comment
whoops Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 what a bum hole! men with no balls are not worth it - you ar better on your own Link to comment
Dorsay Posted October 23, 2006 Author Share Posted October 23, 2006 The weekend was very hard. I felt terrible after listening to his message last Friday. Now I completely understand the potential devastation if there're contacts. I'm slowly accepting that he's gone; our relationship is over. The painful part is that I know him well--he is not going to call again. He left it to me to decide, and I am the one who chose to walk away from this relationship. Accepting that we are over is painful. Can anyone tell me how long the pain will last? Link to comment
Dorsay Posted October 26, 2006 Author Share Posted October 26, 2006 I dreamt of him last night. I really want to get over him, but his ghost is still lingering. I have good days and bad days...I guess today is a bad one. I'm in a stage of accepting the break up but hard to let him go. Will I really feel better everyday? If so, why am I feeling miserable again? Link to comment
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