Sexless and Sad

[savigota]

hi, im new to the forum... Lucia i can totally relate to your problem. i have been married for 3 years and we have a 2 yr old baby. My husband is apparently not interested in sex anymore. We have sex once a month on average (sometimes longer) and when we do he just does his deed and leaves me hanging. I'm going absolutely crazy!

 

For me sex was a secondary part of a relationship but ever since it decreased (when we dated we would do it couple of days a week and it was great and rewarding for both of us) but now it has become a primary issue... I have become really moody because of this and will snap at him for anything. I consider myself a very sexual person and this situation is driving me crazy. I have asked him if he's still attracted to me and he says yes... but he won't even kiss me. I don't have any reason to think that he is seeing somebody else or that he is a porn addict or anything like that, trust me if done my "research". It has gotten to a point were im seriously considering ending our marriage before being tempted into an affair. I love him but this is a big issue for me.

 

By the way, i keep myself sexy, even after having the baby (i used to be a model), so I cannot understand why he is not all over me anymore?

 

If somebody has some advise i would greatly appreciate it. Lucia I am sorry I stated my case in your post but I haven't yet figured out how to open post my own and i am truly desperate.

 

Thanks a million,

Sex-less and Sad

[annie24]

Hi - I gave you your own thread.

 

To make your own thread, go to the forum main page, and click on the button that says "new topic" on the right side of the screen.

 

Welcome to enotalone.

 

I'm not married, so I bet the married people here could give you better advice... but I am wondering, is he stressed at work or has some family issues right now? It could be that other things are weighing heavily on him right now. Have you talked to him about how the love-making has decreased? What have you tried to spark his interest again?

[Shadows Light]

I can't say that I know how to help you. Except to give you a sisterly hug and tell you... ."I KNOW" been there.

 

Like you... I did the research. Read most every relationship book I could get my hands on. Attended counseling for myself...thinking something was wrong with me. Got him to attend marriage counseling with me... where he effectively managed to put all of our problems on "MY SHOULDERS".. lol. You see... we switched counselors until we found one that agreed with him. (gawd.. i was so blind).

 

We had a number of issues and dynamics hitting our relationship. He became increasingly controlling, passive aggressive, manipulative, narssassitic, emotionally and verbally abusive.

 

He insisted NOTHING was wrong with us. That it was NORMAL for couples who were in a long term relationship NOT to make love, have sex for extended periods of time. (MONTHS?????).

 

I did find that PO*N was his shtick. He loved his porn. I'm no prude... but I started feeling that I didn't meausure up. I found out that he would watch porn, read erotica, get on line... just prior to an intimate encounter with me. You can imagine my self esteem took a major dump.

 

Looking in the mirror... I'm still one "HOT MAMA".... and its not because I'm a MOM now that we were having issues. The issues started way way way before we had children. And I was bent on "till death do us part" to make it work.

 

I'd finally found... "GAY PORN"... and NO I was not snooping. It was on a shared computer and I found it quite by accident. So many things slid into place for me. Puzzle's started to fit. BUT I trudged on to make it work.

 

My "X" started becoming more increasingly abusive. His cycles of ANGER... closer and closer together. He started accusing "ME" of being unfaithful and started to become ever more vigilant about how i spent my time. I'd never noticed that he did... watch.... did control... until it picked up speed.

 

I know.. .I tried. I know that I turned over every rock and tried every answer. But the fact of the matter is... I could not CHANGE him into something I wanted. He wouldn't meet me half way. He wouldn't acknowledge that if one of us had an issue with the relationship... we BOTH had a problem. There are 2 that makes the whole.

 

The only person i could change and control is me. I'd tried changing myself in countless of ways during our relationship. Trying to please him. Trying to make him happy. Trying to accomidate. And guess what.. I wasn't happy. I'd lost myself. and nothing really would change the dynamics of this relationship.

 

When I was done.... i was finally done.

 

That is MY STORY... abreviated.

 

My advice to you is.... try to find a good marriage counselor. You need to get your issues on the table and find a solution to them. YOU SEEK counseling for yourself.. so you can further explore your feelings and your options. NO.. YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE AN AFFAIR... DON'T capitulate and allow the final shred of self-esteem you have left in you to grind you into the ground. NOT WORTH IT.

 

SEX and INTIMACY is a very important part of a relationship. By no means at the TOP of the hiaerchy of needs..but when you don't have it... YES, it goes up in the importance quotient.

 

The only thing that distinquishes a good friendship from a LOVE relationship is the level of INTIMACY. if you do not have INTIMACY to share... then what do you have??? A good friend?? Hopefully you have that much. If you are "STILL" good friends... he will want for your good as well as his own.. and he will want to find a solution to your issues. Together.

[savigota]

I'm Back... I don't know what is going on but after I finally decided to state my case on the forum, after I read your replies I went in complete shock. I did not know what to say! Now I understand that I never thought that somebody who I didn't know would be interested in giving me some advise...

 

First of all I want to thank Anni24 for posting my thread.. Greatly appreciate it ! Second of all I want to thank all of you who have taken the time to both read and give me some insight on my problem.

 

To get back on track, I would want to say that I spoke to my husband about what was bothering (AGAIN) and he shut down completely, he totally ignored me and changed the subject. He had to go away on a business trip for 2 days and I decided to try to take another approach. We we're both online one night and I told him straight forward, Baby we used to talk about sex before, maybe we should start doing it again, I really liked when we did it. And his immediate response was "HUMMM IM SUPERRRRR TIRED, i think i'll go to bed now" WHAT????? i couldn't believe it... so I just snapped and told him that I did not what his problem was, but that i was making a very big effort to spice things up and he was just ignoring me. As always this started an argument which I ended 3 secs later with a "you know what I really don't feel like arguing, specially not about the same thing as always... just sleep on what I told you and we'll talk tomorrow... good night!"

 

He came back from his trip the following morning and that night we had sex (nothing special really), and then its been 5 days already and we're back to square one. I guess his way of shutting me up is by having sex with me. He doesn't understand that eventhough that;s waht I have been complaining about, the sex should be rewarding! and it doesn't mean that I have to orgasm all the time, there are times when you don;t really need to orgasm in order to feel connected to the person you love....

 

note: I have masturbated a couple of times when he is not home and when I can't take it anymore but I reallly feel upset about having to do it when I have a husband who should be providing that for me.

 

I wouldn't want to even think about divorce because I really don't believe in it and I love my husband but I am also not going to stay miserable for the rest of my life. I am very young to be having these type of problems (im 27).

 

Am I making any sense? What else can I do?](*,)

[Shadows Light]

I don't think anyone whose had to file for divorce... ever thought of or planned or believed in divorce. You don't get married to get divorced thats for sure. We all want that happily ever after. The divorce rates are hitting at 60% in some area's of the country and less in other areas. The number generally quoted is 50%.

 

If... in the area that I live in because of economics, dense population whatever the numbers are at 60% that means 40% stay married. (according to census reports and how much of that number are first time marriages vs remarriages...don't know). If 40% stay married... how many who are in it... are truly happy? How many stay due to economic reasons, children, social and status?

 

Turn over every rock you can to find a solution. So.. he's not listening to you or hearing you. Demand to go to a marriage counselor together. If there is NOTHING to worry about... as he claims then he can't object to someone sitting in on your conversation.

 

If one person has an issue with the marriage... YOU BOTH have an issue. If its not good for one.. its not good for both.

 

And.... if he won't go. Then you go find a counselor for YOU. Why??? you want to turn over every rock to figure this out don't you? No matter how things turn out down the line.... you will HAVE THAT for YOU. You will be able to say.. I have done what I can.

 

Try reading Dr. Phils book... "Relationship Rescue"... I did like this book. He had a lot of no nonsense down to earth things to say on relationships... and HOW TO's.... it may help. For me.. it was too late. But then again, in my relationship there wasn't an area of our marriage we didn't have problems. I can't honestly tell you.. if possibly having issues in one area of our relationship.. just spiralled and infiltrated into every other area of our marriage. Some relationship books and shrinks will tell you this does happen.

 

You've heard.. COMMUNICATION... COMMUNCIATION... COMMUNICATION is key. To have communication, open dialog... you both have to be giving and recieving. Kind of like... to have a conversation on the telephone, he's gotta pick up the phone and listen. If not.. your talking to a machine... you are talking to the wall. If you were talking to a "FRIEND" and got no response from your best friend.... WHAT would you do???? wouldn't you offer your FRIEND the courtesy of listening? and if you hang up... or don't show interest in what your friend has to say... do you honestly think that friendship would survive???? Your marriage is a "FRIENDSHIP" w/ a deep intimacy. Thats what distinquishes it from say.... a friendship with your GF.

 

When the both of you said I DO... you agreed to "SHARE"your lives... and that means... open dialog and communication.

 

You need to somehow get him to HEAR YOU... to LISTEN to you... Understand you and meet you half-way. You both need to problem solve together.

[finewhine]

How long have you been together? How long has this been going on?

 

I am your age. I left a mostly sexless relationship. We weren't married but were together for long enough to have been. I can't offer any solutions 'cause I left after giving all I had. One day, I looked at him and realized I couldn't try any more. I'd had enough. All the desire I'd once had for him was eroded by his disinterest. I was finished, dried out.

 

And here I am, five months later, and I feel so much better. I'm like a new person. Being in a sexless relationship was the most debilitating thing that's ever happened to me.

 

I'm not advising you to leave your husband, but do know that if it works out that way, you won't die.

 

I think you should try marriage counselling. More important, go to individual counselling. This helped me immensely.

[savigota]

Hey guys:

 

We did try counseling for 2 sessions and never went back because he said that it was to expensive right now and that he didn't think it was necessary, that we could work thiings out ourselves (yeah right specially with his willingness to communicate). That said, the counselor most of the time was on my side so now I knnow that I am not crazy.

 

My relationship with him on a day to day basis is very normal, like any other couple. I start getting stressed out when I see that days are passing and he doesnt make a move on me or even acknowledges me... I really think that THAT is what bothers me the most. I wouldn't mind not being intimate for a while as long as I would feel loved (him telling me im beautiful, giving me positive remarks, being playful with me, KISSING ME). So you can understand how this all started and that is not just that he was like this since the beginning let me make a brief sinopsis of our relationship:

 

1. We were neighbors but became friends when we ran into each other at a party.

2. would say hello everytime see each other (I wasn't attracted to him)

3. he asked me out to dinner, we went and had a great time (became attracted because i thought he was very interesting) we kissed that night

4. after the whole week of dates (we saw each other every night for 4 days) we had sex... but I felt kind of manipulated into being intimate with him... I guess it was because he was older and i only thought thats all he wanted from me.. so everytime fromthere on to like a month when we were officially dating i felt manipulated into slepping with him... eventhough i didnt want to i endes up doing it...

5. dated for 1 year

6. got married, and have been married for 3 years and have a baby

 

 

conclusion: HE ENJOYED SEX BEFORE... this sexless rut has been going on for a little before i became pregnant so it is not a "baby weight" issue either..

 

can you give me ideas to provoke him to wanna have sex?

[savigota]

Something I forgot to mention...

I do think that he loves me or he wouldn't be with me... I can be a real pain

in the butt when I try, so if the case was that he didn't care for me then he would have left a long time ago... There have been times when I am so upset that i have drawn him over the edge just to get any kind of response... an leaving has never been an option for him!

 

Just thought this could help clear things out

[Juliana]

I think you should leave him. A celibate marriage is no marriage at all. He may have any reason for not having sex, from not liking it, to being secretly gay, but none of that is your problem. In this area at least, a man who's commited to a marriage should have no excuse for holding back. Get your things together, prepare a place to go, or pack his bags, make sure your finances are organized, and then say: "What is the real reason you don't want to have sex? Tell me now, or I'm divorcing you."

 

A friend of mine is in a sexless marriage. Her husband just has no desire. My advice to you is to leave now, while you're young. Your husband has issues that rare enough in a man, you will probably never encounter them again, so let him go stew, and you get on with your life. If he doesn't like sex, he shouldn't have gotten married.

[Ash]

When you do have sex, is it the same, usual, perhaps boring way that's become routine? Often a change can be good. Different positions for example, and keep in mind he might not even know that this is part of the issue.

 

One of the big mistakes a couple can get into is going to bed and having sex at the end of the day when either one or both partners is tired. That works well if you have a healthy, plentiful sex life, but it you're struggling then trying to initiate at different times of day might help.

 

Have you tried changing what you wear to excite him at all? Guys tend to be quite visual so that's something worth at least thinking about if you haven't tried it already.

 

There are a lot of other things you could try, but maybe think about this stuff for now. Try to see if there is any real interest at all if things are changed up a bit.

 

And on another note, there's nothing at all wrong with masturbating. I do understand why feel upset about it in this situation. Based on the way you describe your recent sessions with him (it end's when he's satisfied) working in some "play" time with you and perhaps resulting in an orgasm for you before you even engage in intercourse may be something worth trying. Most men like the experience of seeing and feeling a woman orgasm and in general that's not the end of that particular sexual encounter like it can be with some men.

 

Don't give up on him quite yet, but in the end please don't give up on yourself and end up settling for something you're not happy with.

[savigota]

Ash, when we do have sex it is usually at 3 or 4 am when we are both sleeping. Obviously I am not complaining because bad or not at least it's something. But is quite mechanical.

 

As a woman I am totally into foreplay, etc... I don't min quickies but only when we have a "stable intimicy level" already going on. he just goes at it, lasts whatever it takes to pleasure himself and thats it. He doesn't care if I orgasm or anything. It's as if though he was "sleep-walking... or should I say sleep-**cking?"Then afterwards he starts snoring and thats it... I get so angryyyyyyyyyyy! I have spoken to him about this but apparently it goes through one ear and comes out of the other.

 

Sometimes I even prefer him not doing nothing at all, because after a hard and busy day with house chores and the baby, he wakes me up in the middle of the night for nothing.. for getting me "all-dirty" and thats it... sorry if it sounds like that but its the truth!

 

About lingerie, I bought a couple of outfit and he woukdnt even acknowlede they were new.. so i ask him "look at my new teddy, you like it, come here " being provocative to see if that worked.. but his response would be "ahhhh didnt you already have that, or ohh its nice.. and NO ACTION there after"

 

Idont think he's gay, I don't think he has another woman either... that's whats making me crazy... the uncertainty of bot nothing what his problem is!

 

I know that I haven't left him because deep inside I am no tprepared to that yet. I one of does person who while wai until the last drop will leak out of the cup... so let's see, what I do know is that he is making a big mistake treating me like this because once I take the decision of leaving there is no going back!

[Ash]

Well, that's certainly not a particularly good way for him to be. Seems there are a few men who for whatever reason are fully self centred when it comes to sex (and often other things too). It doesn't have to be that way and it isn't with many of us. I don't know if that can possibly give you any hope or not.

 

I suspect you'd know if he was gay, and he likely isn't by how you describe it. Whether he's truly interested in sex at all is another question. Does he ever or has he ever looked at porn on internet or on TV? If he's not doing that at all then it is possible he really has no interest and just doesn't get the whole sex thing.

 

Often times too, what's important to one person may not seem very important to another. That makes things tricky, and even trickier can be the fact they refuse to accept that the other person is different.

 

He should enjoy you being sexually excited but I'm not sure what steps to take to have him start to find that interesting as he doesn't seem to show that interest at all. It sounds like you've tried actions and words and it hasn't done much.

 

Would it affect him at all if he knew you pleasured yourself and he wasn't a part of it? Perhaps that could stir some interest in him. Maybe at the same time he'd understand that you want and need something out of sex too and it's not just a way for him to get a quick release.

 

Good luck. Keep us posted if/when more happens and certainly we're here to comment and say more if you'd like.

[savigota]

he used to enjoy sex at the beginning of our marriage and while we were dating, besides the issue has risen and he has made t clear and he does like having sex with me... About the masturbating, I feel kind of ashamed to tell him...

 

Humm i hadnt mentioned this but like about 1 month ago when we came back from our 1 month vacation. we ended up having sex. I was surprised because it was the best sex Ive had with him that i can remember in the longesssssssst time. Everything was good and I even thought, wow we're finally out of the rut, but right in the middle of the whole ordeal, he started telling me that i was a B***ch, something that honestly bothered me alot because of the way he said it and also because he is not into dirty talk when having sex... he will just be there mute.. Why would he do that?

 

The next morning I did tell him that the night before had been great for mi and that i was really happy... i also told him that one thing was bothering me and that I would appreciate it if he wouldnt call me nasty names when having sex, did make myself perfectly clear that i loved and actually encouraged dirty talk because it turned me on, just as long as it wasn't "degrading". He diodnt say anything.. and from there we are back in the sexless twilight zone againnnnnnnnnnnnn!

[JoeWho]

I have been on both sides of the sexless or very little sex realtionship and it was the same realtionship. We were together for ten years, ended in August. About six or seven years into the relationship I just kind of got bored with sex. I never cheated or looked at porn or anything like that, i just wasnt interested and i couldnt even come up with a good reason other than being bored. We would still do it maybe every other week but i just wasnt after her like i was before. She never really talked to me about how she felt about that and looking back now i am sure that it must have really hurt her but she never even told me it was a problem. Anways, fast forward a year or two and i noticed that she was also not interested in having sex. Once i realised this i suddenly became interested again. What actually happened is that i began to see that the relationship was in serious trouble. i was now craving the intamacy and missing how we used to be and how we used to have sex all the time with passion. I talked to her about it and asked her why she didnt want to have sex with me anymore and she just said she didnt know. So to make a long and painful story short we stayed together for about another year and a half, maybe having sex 10 times and that is a generous estimate and it always seemed like she was just doing something she had to do, i never felt like it was something she wanted to do.

 

So I know how it feels from both sides. I wish we had talked about it when i was not interested in having sex anymore. The truth is i had no idea the damage i was doing by not having sex with her and losing the intamacy that we never got back. I feel for you as i know how painful it is to have someone you love just not seem interested in you anymore and reject your best efforts.

 

After everything i went through my advice to you is to try somehow to get him to talk about it. Tell him how much it hurts you and try to express this in different ways, give him examples. Dont attack him though. I bet he has no idea how much he is hurting you. Trust me i learned that the hard way. If he is just bored then try different things,do whatever people do to spice it up a little. It could also be he is having some physical issues that he feels embarrased to talk to you about. The only way to solve the problem is with communication. Dont give up quite yet, wait at least until you have exhausted yourself trying to get him to communicate with you.

[savigota]

thanks joewho for the moral support! I have talked to him about it a million times and itsd like talking to a wall. He is stuck in saying that he doesnt want the one to initiate it all the time because he just got plain tired of doing it, that i should initiate it also.

 

I don't understand him, because when i do initiate and lately it is always me, he rejectes me, hes always tired, or working, or has to cough, or hhis stomach hursts, etc... always something!

 

I wouldnt mind initiating, even though i openly told him i have never considered myself and initiator and before he was ok with that. BUt its just that when I do initiate (for me its sort of like a sacrifice in my character, even though im very open sexually-speaking) he rejects me and the vicious cicle starts again.

 

Why did you become bored?

[savigota]

I have been very adventurous when it comes to sex, I like to change places, times, play dress-up, toys, you name it.... I enjoy having fun sexually with my partner. On the other hand, my husband is more discrete. For instance I have always wanted to have sex with him with the blinds open (we live on a high rise) but with the lights off... you know so just in case somebody is watching they can only see shadows, etc.. he wont have sex in any other place than in our room , at night, in bed!

 

To some extent, eventough he is much older than me, he is 36 and im 27, I think that I have experimented more openly with sex than him. Not saying that he doesnt have experience, just that he is more conservative...

 

About the physical problem, We have also addressed the issue and he knows that i wouldnt mind if he had to take viagra or something.. i even joke around and tell him that im gonna have to hide in the bathroom from time to time... He says hat although he wouldnt mind if he had to use those "helps" that he doesnt need to...

 

Right now, if I compare my sexual activity to that i had before i got married i would honestly say that before it was a 10 and now about a 4... that's just wrong... he is not making an effort. He wasn't like this before or trust me i would have never consider marrying him.

[JoeWho]

I still to this day can't put my finger on exactly why I got bored or wasnt as interested. At the time I was both working and going to school full time, so maybe that was part of it. I was still attracted to her and loved her very much but I didnt have the energy or the time to really pursue her like i did before. I had my priorities a little mixed up at the time with school and maybe work being slightly ahead of our relationship. Looking back I dont know what I was thinking. I guess I just felt so secure in the relationship that I felt I could neglect it for a little while while I finished up school. I guess it was a little of everything that contributed to it. Wish I could give you a better answer.

[savigota]

joewho.. you already have.... YOU MENTION SOMETHING THAT IS COMPLETELY TRUE.. he is to sure of our relationship, he feels he has me and that nothing will change that... wow breakthrough!

 

How can I make him feel that he really has to pay attention to me, mke him feel that i am not 100% available for him eventough i;m his wife?

[JoeWho]

I dont know how to get him to realise that he could lose you. You certainly dont want to do anything drastic. Maybe talk to him about his prioritys, ask him what is the most important thing in the world to him. He should answer you and your baby.

 

You just got to find a way to really communicate with him.

[savigota]

Hi everyone Here is an update on my situation:

 

Don't mean to send you running back and forth from one thread to another but something happened yesterday which concluded in the much desired confrontation. Please read my "how to confront..." thread. I can't really stary long but i'll come back tonite to see what you think.

 

After all the drama thought it would be nice for all of you who gave me advise to see how all of this is turning out!

 

Good day to all!

[Ash]

Well ... best of luck. It's not an easy place to be at all, not really knowing what's up. The story about the number accidentally getting erased seems a bit off.

 

I imagine you're a bit anxious, but hopefully he will be and has been true to his word and things will be okay. If nothing else, perhaps you can put behind you the fears you had about him being with another woman. If he's truly not and is definitely with only you, then you can focus on having a better sexual relationship with him. But definitely the doubts you have of him being with another need to be completely dispelled first.

 

Keep us posted!

[savigota]

Thanks Ash for your supportive words. Well today is Monday, two days have passed since our huge eye-opening-fight. Eventhough that two days in to short a time to determine wether a person has changed or not, I do feel more relaxed since I got to express myself and let out so many bottled-up feelings that were making me miserable.

 

My husband has been behaving very well and it looks as if though our conversation did help alot. He kisses me both when he is leaving and arriving from work and has also called me several times during the day to "say hello". This means alot to me cause I know that he is making a big effort to please me. As for the sex, we did have some make-up sex after our fight. It was not excellent physically -wise but I felt that we made love, something that hadn't happened in a very long time.

 

 

During our conversation after the fight, we did address the "sex" issue and compromised to work out a way so that we are both happy. He tells me that he IS under alot of stress (its his nature) so he doesn't always feel in the mood. I told him that lately I have been wanting sex more than normal (don't know if its an age thing or what?)and that he has to help me out on that. The solution he says will be that I give him a hand-job or like-wise even if he doesn't seem in the mood. He says that I just have to loosen him out a bit because since we've lost constanty, it is harder for him to both get in the mood and perform satisfactory as well.

 

We also addresses the whole "viagra" thing and he says he doesn't need it right now, that he only needs to get back in our sex rutine. He says that since we don't do it that often that it makes him loose "power" since when we do, then he comes really quick... we will be doing the pleasure-rest-pleasure exercise to see if this helps his situation and then he can last longer.

 

I also mentioned to him that I wanted to be more adventurous because i feel that we had fallen into a sexual rut and that I wanted to play some sex games, text flirting, etc... he was ok with the idea! Our next "couple date" i'll mention going to a sex store to get some "goodies", I kind of approached the topic and he sounded interested. OHHHHHH before I forget, I also build up the courage to tell him that due to our lack of intimacy I had masturbated a couple of times and wanted to know what he thought about that... his response was "I think its a good idea, it doesnt bother me one bit, I have done it too a couple of times to blow ff some steem", to what I questioned if he did it alot and he said no, just a couple of times.. and really thats ok with me. I did tell him that next time we could share it..

 

Well as you all can see i'm just starting to see the light. A BIG BREAKTHROUGH was that we we're able to communicate and tell each other what we liked/disliked from our relationship. We promised each other that we would address a problem as soon as it happened in order to prevent all this drama that has been going on for so long and that has hurt it both as well. Maybe if we would have done it to begin with we wouldn;t have ended in this situation in the first place.

 

to conclude, We are taking baby-steps to heal all the hurt we caused each other but it is a start. I am really glas that everyhing turned around in this way and that it seems like I finally Got my husband back!!!

 

Ps: It is impossible to be heard by someone who is not interested in listening, even if you scream at the top of your lungs. On the other hand, when your partner understands why you are hurting and is willing to listen, all you need is a whisper!

[Ash]

Hey, that all sounds good. Certainly some major progress. Sometimes all it takes is for each of you to understand where the other is coming from.

 

As for your sex drive ... yeah, you're getting to the time in life where yours starts to increase while his drops off. Something that is worth understand as it means there is a very good chance you'll become more and more highly sexed than him and hopefully you can work this into your plans.

 

If he isn't interested and you are, then perhaps you could "perform" for him to see if that satisfies you at all. Or, you can write him a sexy story. That can be kind of fun. Live out your fantasies on paper and know he's the only one who will read it.

 

Anyway, sounds quite good really!

[annie24]

If he isn't interested and you are, then perhaps you could "perform" for him to see if that satisfies you at all. Or, you can write him a sexy story. That can be kind of fun. Live out your fantasies on paper and know he's the only one who will read it.

 

Anyway, sounds quite good really!

 

I was about to suggest the same thing. maybe just "perform" for him, he can watch, and maybe that would be enough to get him in the mood?