In love with a married lady

[Davidk]

HUH??? When your strong enough? David if we all did what we NEED to do when we are strong enough, nothing would be done. We are never strong enough at that moment well we are we are just afraid of letting it go. You need to let go of the fantasy that this was some beautiful, healthy, and angels singing from the heavens relationship.

You are so right. I wil try tonight.

She is manipulating you with her abandonment issues and you are allowing your wellbeing to be compromised.

Again, I can't argue with that.

 

I meant that she wants to end the relationship with YOU!

I honestly don't think that is the case. I didn't answer her call on Saturday and she left me a message on my phone today which asked me what time we are talking today. She must be getting some sick bit of fun from all this because she doesn't seem to want to end this relationship. I'm not trying to disagree, I'm just stating what she seems to want.

YOu have to walk away from this. If you want her to work on her relationship wth her husband then YOU will have to leave them to it because YOU are the problem.

Yes, I will try tonight. It's really not as simple as it sounds when emotions are so strong.

It isnt about you not being strong enough. Change your perspective mate, it is about doing the right thing. The right thing here is not about being best friends, it is about you being in the way of 2 people that are married. Mate you are the 3rd person, not a good place. It is time take off the 'HERO' suit and not play to her whimes.

Good luck.

DO the right thing.

Yes, you are right, thank you so much for your kind advice. I will try tonight. But if she gets upset and starts crying, I will end up giving in. I have tried before and it hurts to see her so upset. I admit, I'm weak but I will try my best. I really appreciate all the excellent advice.

[WorkNProgress]

"Yes, I will try tonight. It's really not as simple as it sounds when emotions are so strong."

 

Hun, your situation is no different than many that come to this site. It is very simple. You are NOT a couple, you are NOT married, you do NOT have anything together such as finances, obligations, or children. It is very simple. Emotions are always strong when a parting of ways comes into place. You did the right thing and not answering your phone. To be honest I think the only way you will be able to let this go is via email. I think the phone will be a vulnerable place for you.

 

In the email tell her you are taking a break from this right now. You need to get started with things in your life and that you will be in touch. Ask that she not contact you and respect your feelings on this. If she contacts you at work just say you can't speak and hang up.

 

I don't think she will be fair to you and your feelings if she gets you on the phone.

 

David you are strong enough to do this. You just have to believe in yourself.

[Davidk]

Hun, your situation is no different than many that come to this site. It is very simple. You are NOT a couple, you are NOT married, you do NOT have anything together such as finances, obligations, or children. It is very simple. Emotions are always strong when a parting of ways comes into place.

It IS very simple, I know what I have to do! But it's so hard to let go and hurt someone. I tried so many times in person but she wouldn't let me. Those tears were genuine, I know they were. But I have to do this for both our sakes.

You did the right thing and not answering your phone. To be honest I think the only way you will be able to let this go is via email. I think the phone will be a vulnerable place for you.

You are probably right. I couldn't answer the phone today and I could hear the fear in her voicemail. I have to do this by phone. I have been dumped by email before and it is so cold heartless. I cannot do what someone else did to me. I must try by phone.

In the email tell her you are taking a break from this right now. You need to get started with things in your life and that you will be in touch. Ask that she not contact you and respect your feelings on this. If she contacts you at work just say you can't speak and hang up.

I honestly can't email this, I cannot be so cruel and heartless. If I cannot do this by phone, I will try the email.

David you are strong enough to do this. You just have to believe in yourself.

Unfortunately, you just found my biggest problem. I have never been able to believe in myself, but I have to try now.

 

Thank you so much, I really appreciate all the excellent, kind advice.

[trash mail]

DavidK.

THe only real advice i can truly give you when it is time to end it with her is....

Fous on the GOAL. The goal is doing the right thing. Irrigardless of wha she says focus n one goal. You will have to deconnect from her to solve this problemand to move on with your life.

FOCUS on the right thing to do for YOURSELF and not for her. YOURSELF meaning that this relationship is not healthy and it isnt going anywhere.

FOCUS.

Good luck mate and hang in there.