I really dont know what to do now (rebound) ex is confused.

[Parky]

She split up with me 3 weeks ago. I begged for the first week, and then went to NC. She initiated contact 2 weeks later, to tell me she can't stop crying and that she is very upset, and misses me alot. (this was on friday)

 

The same thing happened on sunday, where she was textin me saying she she can't stop crying etc. I went round on sunday, and she was really happy to see me, and i was happy to see her too. We planned to meet each other on tuesday.

 

So tuesday came, we had a fun day out at the circus, i could feel her getting closer and closer to me.

She went to the toilet, and i heard her phone go, so i checked it, and it was from another lad, her rebound. I checked her sent messages to her friends saying she doesnt know what to do, i want both of them but i cant have both (me and her rebound).

 

So she got back, after the circus, i had to mention it, so i mentioned it, i said who the hell is this other bloke. I mentioned the fact that she is trying to chose between me and him. She burst out crying and hugged me. A few moments later, we started kissing each other and told me she loved me and wanted me back.

 

So we sat down and i had chat with her and her rebound. She said they had sex once, and he kept sleeping over at her house. (they have been friends for several year). She said they only did things like hand job etc and sex session once. This really, really put a dagger in my heart.

 

Anyways, i went to her house after the circus. We fell asleep and woke up several hours later, and we started to have sex, and i can honestly say, it's the best sex i'v ever received and she said the same. I stayed over at hers that night.

 

Today, i go round, and now shes saying she is confused, doesnt know what she wants. I asked her what her feelings are towards this other guy, and she said she likes him alot, but doesnt love him. I asked her if she loves me and she said yes, lots and wanted to get back with me.

 

I told her i don't want to carry on like this, it's hurting me too much, she started crying again. So i asked her if she could make her mind up, otherwise i'm pulling away from all this crap. I'm going round to see her tonight, and if she's the same im going to have to pull away.

 

I do want to get back with her, i want to give it another go, but not with all this crap happening, it makes me wonder what if this and what if that etc.

 

Has anyone got any advice? Anything i should mention to her?

[majord23]

Has anyone got any advice? Anything i should mention to her?

 

No need to mention anything to her - tell her outright.

There is no need for her to make a decision as long as you are meeting up with, and having sex with, her.

 

Tell her to call you once she is over her 'confusion' and knows what she wants - and then stay out of her life until her decision is made. At the moment she has the 'luxury' of holding all the cards.

 

She *knows* that she can 'choose' between you and the other guy (as she said in her text to her friend). So, she is in the position of 'power' (for want of a better word). Remove that safety-net from the equation. Explain to her that you want to be with her and that you are sure about that - and that until she is just as sure about wanting to be with you that she should stay out of your life.

 

If she truly loves you, and the other guy is just a rebound....she may just come-a-runnin'.

[Parky]

 

If she truly loves you, and the other guy is just a rebound....she may just come-a-runnin'.

 

 

Can you explain what you mean by this? she may just come-a-runnin'

[babypink61]

If she really loves you, she wouldn't even have to choose between you two. She should KNOW that she wants to be with you, and not the other guy. I mean, afterall, he is just a rebound . . . people usually don't develope feelings for their rebounds, they use them for the physical part. You did the right thing by telling her that if she can't make up her mind then you're going to walk away from all of this. I wouldn't sit around and wait for her . . .

[majord23]

Can you explain what you mean by this? she may just come-a-runnin'

 

It means that she may come back.

 

If you are able to view the situation objectively and logically at the moment, babypink is right on the money.

[reddog]

I've been separated with my ex for over four months. I did the no contact thing for 3 months. I broke contact with a simple text and she replied positively. So stupidly I texted her again some days later. I didn't get a reply. Days later she texted me she broke her foot, again I replied. Nothing back. It has been almost 2 weeks. I looked at my caller id at my house one night and found that someone called me from the softball park the day I assume she broke her foot. To read into everything going on is a pain, but we all do it. I keep trying to tell myself stay away. If she wants you, she will contact you. I am mostly in control of my emotions. Still have those bad days, but much farther apart. Get yourself together. Think everything over for a few days before you do it. Did you ever send that letter? I wrote one and still today want to send it, but she is still going out with her new bf who she hooked up with 2 weeks after our breakup.