Not feeling too great.

[mmd]

Ive posted multiple times, but heres my current situation, and I'll try to keep it short.

 

Long term girlfriend of 1 year 8 months, we had a mutual break up because:

 

- She wanted to be more involved with her friends

- She was not 100% into our relationship, but I was so in the end I was the one getting hurt.

So since I brought these problems up before, she didnt change much. So I brought up breaking up since nothing was changing. She agreed as well, she wasnt feeling the same about the relationship anymore.

 

I took control and initiated No Contact. Being friends was not an option (which she wanted) but I said no.

 

Which brings me to the question, whats better? Talking with your ex and being flirty with them or just not talking at all... In order to get them back.

 

Im missing her incredibly. I want to move on as well as get her back.

 

One more issue... She is starting to get close to a guy which she had a fling with. Can I do anything about this?

Its making me feel really bad and jealous.

 

Also we go to the same school and we are in 3 of the same classes and we sit next to each other. How do I act around her?

 

 

 

Thanks in advance.

mmd

[Beec]

You should act like she nothing she does bothers you, friendly, but you need not be friends. If for an example that should never happen, you see her kissing this other guy, you should shrug your shoulders and walk away. Then at some later time tell her how she acted pretty juvenile, inappropriate, or something. Act like it does not bother you, but don't let her walk over you.

 

Otherwise, move on. Really. You could try to learn and figure out what you could do to win her back, but that process and effort would probably not be worth it. I would recommend you learn, but direct your efforts elsewhere.

[mmd]

Sounds good to me... Im going out with some friends this weekend, Ive been thinking, if I kissed another girl do you think it would push my ex away? I usually compliment her when I see her in class... Do you think this would help at all?

 

 

Thanks

[sillygurl]

You probably can't get her back unless she decides on her own that she wants to come back, unfortunately. But you can act confident and happy around her, have a great time enjoying your life so that she can see what she's missing! The worst thing to do is beg and plead for her to come back. Read some of Super Dave's posts, lots of good advice there.

 

Good Luck!

[mmd]

"You probably can't get her back unless she decides on her own that she wants to come back, unfortunately." Yes I do realise this... Im just being the person that she fell in love with when I am forced to be with her (class).

 

"Read some of Super Dave's posts, lots of good advice there." Yes I have read them I have also read Majord23's as well. I have a hardcopy of most of his threads I read them every day and they give me the strength and inspiration to keep going.

 

I know how to be attractive around my ex, I am well humoured around her and I compliment her everynow and then in class. She reacts well to it, not sure if I want to keep complimenting her though... Should I?

[Beec]

I'd be very on and off with the compliments. She might get some at times, and at tohers, when she thought one might come, it would not and the next one would be different than what she expected.

 

I would not kiss another girl in front of her, but I would let her see the things leading up to the kiss. She could see you flirt a bit, and maybe touch and hold hands.

[sillygurl]

Hmm...maybe take a break from the compliments for a while, just give her a big friendly smile instead. Think of those compliments as part of the whole package that comes with being your g/f., if she wants to be treated so wonderfully by you, she has to be with you.

 

Maybe avoid talking to her first if you can, like let her initiate the conversation. But be warm about it! If you just give her the cold shoulder and ignore her, she might think you're just being immaure.

 

good luck!

[nadine_3110]

But you can act confident and happy around her, have a great time enjoying your life so that she can see what she's missing!

 

DO THAT!!! When my ex went to the bar with us. I didn't exactly ignore him, but I didn't pay much attention to him. I was confident and I knew that I looked way hotter confident than not. And he came back, seven months later, but he came back. Just be yourself, but you can live without her, you did it before, you can do it again. At least for the time of healing...

[mmd]

A little jealousy can't hurt can it? But then she could do the same to me which is quite damaging since I dont take it that well.

 

Thanks

[mmd]

nadine_3110 I understand that completely I do have my confidence but the only thing in the way is a guy that shes starting to get close to... Which she has history with.

 

It makes me think shes not getting what she wants from me so shes looking for it in another guy.

 

 

Thanks

[mmd]

Anyone else?

 

Any reply or anyones opinion to my questions... would help a great deal.

 

Thanks

[mmd]

She has told me that she misses "us" and she loves me still. She just is still unsure of how to proceed.

 

Hopefully this NC period will have some influence on how she feels about me. I know you are being honest and I do understand it. The only reason she wasnt 100% commited was because she had other priorites such as school and friends.

 

Im just giving her space and time.

[mmd]

Alright thanks

 

I hope for the best...

 

I dont have much of a clue of how shes feeling now its been a while. She is still confused I think...

 

So Im only going to talk to her in class when I am forced to... This is when she will see me as the person she fell in love with. Ill be good humoured and I'll give her a compliment every now and then. Other than this there will be no contact at all.

 

So all Im waiting on is time.

[mmd]

Here is a little update on today's events...

 

I went to school feeling ok, I seem to be intimidated by my ex's presense Im always looking around to see if shes there or not. She seems pretty happy, not sure if thats how she really is feeling... A mutual friend told me that she was having a bad day which made me feel better But I think its to do with her friends having problems and not about me

 

She also didnt hug or speak to the guy (who she has history with) after school today which made me feel even greater.

 

The only time I talked to my ex was in class today, I could feel the spark and chemistry, she seemed to be interested in me. It made me feel good that she gave me some attention. Not sure if she felt the same way...

 

Im interested in 2 girls atm, one of them is a friend that i've always had this thing for as well as a girl in another school. Ill see how it goes this weekend.

 

Still missing my... wanting her back...

 

Any advice is good advice

Thanks

mmd

[mmd]

Update:

 

It is now the weekend I went out friday night, my ex broke NC on thursday night and came to me with her problems and she was an emotional wreck telling me she had pressures and self issues, she was crying a lot.

 

I talked to her on the phone I made her feel better, she wasn't upset about "us" she said, it was other things. I was there for her and I comforted her but the next day I took her to the school counseller so I didnt have to deal with her problems anymore. She said I was the only one she could speak to, and I have now resumed NC again.

 

I told her Its much easier for me for us to keep our friendship in school (classes, where we have to talk to each other because we sit next to each other) and that she shouldnt contact me, but I am here for her if she has problems that she cant go to anyone else for.

 

Did I handle this ok? Should I have said anything else? If I said something wrong how can I change it?

 

Thanks in advance

My heart still hurts...

But holding on strong.

mmd

[Surrended souls]

mmd, i think you did the right thing and should have nothing 2 take back, obviously she misses you and thats why she came to you that night. who knows maybe she wil want to get back with you one day when she relizes what she is missing, if she hasnt started to already. in the meantime you should have a good time and keep holding strong! everything your doing seems to be on the right track! and dont forget that this is probaly hard on her too even though you might not think so!

[mmd]

Thanks Surrended Those kind of replies give me the strength to keep going with NC.

 

Hurting like a b****

mmd