SFKID Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 Hi everyone...this forum has help me put alot of understanding to everything...but i'm still at the point of anger and still hurting. I had been dating this girl for about 3 mos...things moved really quickly, sex then assumptions we were in a realtionship.She was 24 with 2 kids, which she had very young. I try to be the geniue nice guy and be there for her and kids..unfortunately it was taken for granted. She had gotten pregnant within a month and abortion shotly thereafter. As soon as this happen things really started to change..she became distant from me, verbally abusive, and less affectionate. So last weekend i go to this local bar and of course she is there with friends and another guy. She saw me there but did not acknowledge me and basically put it my face with the other guy. It hurt bad to see her treat me like that after everything we been through. So the next day I txt here saying that i had to say my goodbye. I received no response except the next day she deleted me from her myspace. I have NC since then and really trying hard not to. I want to talk to her so much but alot of me tells me to let her go..what do I do? Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 I assume that she has distanced herself from you in order to protect herself. With you, comes painful memories possibly? Link to comment
SFKID Posted October 3, 2006 Author Share Posted October 3, 2006 I can understand the pain, i tried really hard to be there for her after the abortion, but nothing seemd to work..i just cant understand how she can go out and be with some other guy so soon.. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 I am a single mother of two children... I'm not sure I can imagine close to what this has been like for both of you. I can imagine what I would possibly be like in the situation. I think it would be very hard for me to continue in the relationship. I think it would hurt everyday anyway but even more each time I looked at that person. Was this a decision made by both of you? I think maybe she is attempting to prove she is over you or pushing you out of her life. Did you two have much closure when splitting? Or was that how she split? By not responding and deleting you? Link to comment
SFKID Posted October 3, 2006 Author Share Posted October 3, 2006 Well just before the abortion, her distance was bothering me and we had a talk and came to a conclusion that she couldn't be in a serious realtionship, so we kinda broke up and after the abortion I tried to be there for her and we were hanging out for a week or so, then all this happen last week with that other guy. i just can't understand her thinking..why would it hurt to see me if i tried to be there for her with open arms and she knows that i was feeling hurt about the abortion thing.? Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 I'm guessing that when she found out she was pregnant, she panicked. She decided she couldn't handle a serious relationship, couldn't handle another child. Did she seem strong about making the decision to abort? How did she feel about it? Do you think maybe she's feeling overwhelming guilt, shame, maybe trying to isolate herself away from feeling any of that? Is there any way you can set up a time to meet with her? At least get some answers maybe? Link to comment
SFKID Posted October 3, 2006 Author Share Posted October 3, 2006 She was very strong about the abortion...which i understood because of her situation. yes I think she has a lot of inner issues and anger probably from past things...I almost think she is waiting for her baby's father to come back to her and until then she passes time with unserious relationships with guys...is it hard for a women with childeren to open up and commit to a guy? Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 It was/is hard for me to open up to a relationship. Along with the genuine advantages of being in a relationship came serious worry and almost panic that I was going to be hurt again. How long was she apart from her ex? Link to comment
SFKID Posted October 3, 2006 Author Share Posted October 3, 2006 Thank you for your thoughts it really help me understand things...she was with her ex for like 7 years....and I guess they would be off and on here and there. I'm really understanding that her issues with her past had nothing to do with me and that I need to find the strength within myself to let go. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 I really am sorry that you are going through this. Seems as though you sincerely care about her. Maybe she's not used to that. She definitely doesn't seem emotionally available. Maybe letting go now will be easier than holding on? Link to comment
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