don't want to have sex as much as he does :-\

[Spredn311luv]

I love my fiance more than anything in the world...which is why I feel so bad right now...I just don't feel like I want to have sex as much as he does...we still have sex about 2-3 times a day...but I don't enjoy it as much as he does...I enjoy it because it's with him and I love him and i love making love to him but for me, i guess it just doesn't feel as good for me as it does for him...He is kind of "big" and it hurts alot, especially when first going in...and sometimes I feel like he takes too long and really that makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him just really feel kind of down about it...is there anyway to increase my sex drive? or to make ti more enjoyable for me? and is it abnormal for me to feel this way? thanks...

 

angie

[Meow18]

I would understand if you only had sex like once month. I mean, that could lead to problems.

 

But you said you have sex 2-3 times a day? Honestly, I can understand why you don't enjoy it that much. It can get uncomfortable! And that's not enjoyable.

 

Have you talked about this issue with him? Maybe he just doesnt' realize you don't want it that much?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Hmmmm.

 

It's a foreign concept to me as I'd happily do it 3 times a day or whatever, but I realise I have a very high sex drive.

 

This is your fiance, right? So he should have no problem with a truthful discussion...make it clear you love him as much as you ever did, but be honest and say it hurts you. I'd say a normal sex drive is about 3 times a week (opinions vary on that one), so not wanting to do it 3 times a day is perfectly fine! I'm sure he knows that too.

[amtjrtcet]

I agree with Antilove. My b/f and I are very sexually active, and we both have very high sex drives. But I couldn't imagine "doin it" 2-3 times a day! I'd be sore! Talk to him about it. He should understand.

[BellaDonna]

Hi there.

 

Have you told him any of this?

 

sometimes I feel like he takes too long and really that makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him

 

The reason that's happening is because he can probably sense you're not into it, so as result he's less excited and it takes longer for him to reach his peak.

 

Have you orgasmed while being intimate with him? Do you get anything out of it or is it seemingly all about him?

 

 

BellaDonna

[Honey Pumpkin]

2 -3 times a day is a *lot*, I would be sore (and grumpy!). Also it means that you can't be affectionate like you might like to be, because every overture is interpreted as a gesture of wanting sex.

 

I don't know, talking is important, as michelleth says. What about slowing it right down as well, so having long, slow sessions that aren't about intercourse, but about teasing and drawing it out, so that it's more connected and about the quality and interconnectedness

 

There are quite a few good web sites as well for people with different sex drives - just google, and you'll get various advice

 

Good luck!

[lunatic]

I agree with Antilove also. I think 2 to 3 times a day is a bit on the extreme. I would talk to him about it. I am sure once you talk about the issue and you let him know it hurts you he will understand.

 

P.S. you should try some more foreplay or even lube. That may take the pain away for you so it will be more enjoyable.

[Cardinal]

I think the pain is an issue. I would tell him this. He'll definitely understand on that account especially since he is on the large side of things. How about taking a day or two's break every week? How about doing some 'oral only' work? Riddle us this... How often would YOU prefer to have sex if you took all the pain away and anything else negative about the physiological side of things? You have as much say in this as he does.

 

I also would love to have sex 3x per day, but honestly it would be nice to have a breather at least one day a week (I don' t think two days off would be needed hehe). I could be reading it wrong, but I think you might benefit more from days off than from a simple frequency reduction. If you have a day or two off per week (or maybe three from actual vaginal intercourse), that might give your body the time it needs to recover from such an intense workout down there!