in serious need of advice/unfaithful male best friend

[struggling22]

i'm in college and for a year and a half have been dealing with an situation. during my freshman year, i had a male best friend who lived in my dorm. we spent a lot of time with one another, as well as our roommates. his girlfriend would come every other week, and their relationship-though semi long distance, seemed to be ideal. all i ever considered him was a close friend, until my roommate had mentioned that she thought he had feelings for me. i disregarded that, due to his girlfriend and what looked like a great, healthy relationship. one night several of us slept together on one bed, and he ended up taking things a little further with me. we didn't end up having sex, as i was the one to put a stop to it. i can't say i wasn't curious, but i was definitely uncomfortable, and i told him that. i didn't want to be "the other girl", despite the fact i am attracted to him, we have a lot in common, etc.

 

a year and a half has passed, and there is still an amount of sexual tension between the two of us, though. sometimes i find myself thinking of him a lot more than i want to, and i become very frustrated. he has also started to flirt with my roommates as well. i love this kid very much, but i'm really angry with him for how lightly he takes this situation and his relationship with his girlfriend of 3+ years. my roommates and i see his girlfriend regularly, and sometimes i feel like asking him WHY he is doing this. how could he cheat on her?! i don't know the specifics of their relationship, but she seems like such a sweet girl. it makes me uncomfortable and guilty, even though I was the one to stop things from going further. i once considered him like a brother, and can't any more.

 

the other night he hooked up with my roommate, also his good friend...she didn't seem to be that bothered by this, despite the fact we just saw his girlfriend this weekend.

 

i'm just trying to sort out my feelings, and don't know how to handle this situation. it's been almost two years now and i'm probably harboring some feelings for him, but i'm also harboring animosity and resentment toward him for his actions, as well.

[annie24]

welcome to enotalone.

 

gosh - this is hard! have you talked to your friend about what happened back when you two fooled around? And he does seem pretty comfortable with cheating on his gf, which is a little unnerving.

 

I wouldn't tell his gf about his cheating, but I wouldn't necessarily condone it either. is he really that good a friend to you?

[RufusDawes]

Ignore him completely while he has his girlfriend. You don't want to do the wrong thing and be the other girl and you also shouldn't cause yourself distress because of someone else who by the sounds doesn't care about you enough to leave his girlfriend. Its probably the best way to sort your feelings out, have some time away from this dude.