omg.... i broke months of NC today

[SeaBisquit]

hello, today i contacted my ex and he actually answered. i was so freaked out to hear his voice that i couldn't even talk. i never thought he would answer and when he did i totally freaked out and hung up. i tried calling back and he didn't answer. now i'm freaked out about it and i probably blew my one chance to tell him how i feel.

[chai714]

What you did was rude. You called him and hung up after he answered. Then, you called back and expected him to pick up. Why should he?

 

Telling someone how you feel has nothing to do with how they feel about you. Why do you find it beneficial to tell your ex how you feel after months of NC? I don't know how you feel about your ex, but it would now seem that you've given him reason enough not to care how you feel - especially after this call.

 

Am I missing some information here? This seems odd.

[SeaBisquit]

i didn't intend on hanging up on him. i was just so shocked to hear his voice that i freaked out. i was calling him to tell him i miss him.

[Chibby33]

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Back to square one. Try again - at least you know how uncomfortable it made you feel.

[chai714]

If you tell him you miss him, how will that make him feel? Especially after all this time. Telling him that would make you appear needy or even desperate. When someone appears desperate, then they appear less attractive.

 

If you're trying to get him back, why not talk to him more often and build things slowly instead of telling him that you miss him?

[DaDancingPsych]

Why call in the first place? What was your purpose?

 

Depending on the reasoning for no contact, you either owe him an apology or need to return to (and stick with) not contacting him.

 

As a general rule, try to always have a reason for communicating with someone. It may have been approrpriate to call to say hi (or maybe not), but calling to see if he'll pick up (freaked or no freak) doesn't make much sense.

[WorkNProgress]

have any of you ever wrote your ex a letter telling them exactly how you feel? is this a good thing or a bad thing? i have been doing NC but now i'm thinking about writing a letter about how bad he has made feel. is it good to let it all out? or will i be making a fool of myself?

 

Didn't you just post this yesterday? Now you want to call him and tell him you miss him? Why do you keep causing yourself undue pain and frustration?

[SeaBisquit]

i don't know.... my mind tells me not to think about him. but i still have unresolved feelings for him

[richard29]

We all know how you feel..... i know it's hard and you can try and do everything you can to bring the love back. All you are doing is pushing him away. Please read threads by superdave71 it will help you understand what going on in your head. It will help you do what YOU think is right.

I feel your pain and wish i'd seen some superdave stuff i may done things soooo different and it may of saved me alot of pain.

Please be stronge goodluck

[WorkNProgress]

Or the book "It's called a break up because its broken." I think that is the title?

[friscodj]

Look, you're poking a dead body here...it isn't going to respond nor matter!

 

I gather you're still holding onto a notion of reconciliation here from what you wrote. Do you think, after all this time, if the situation has degenerated to phone calls, hanging up, "one last chance" or "one last shot to 'win' him back"...there is hope for a reconciliation and a subsequent healthy, happy, fulfilling, balanced long-term relationship?

 

You give me three valid logical reasons why you feel this is the case and provide evidence to do so and then we can talk about that part more...

 

Now, I do think it is important to tell him how you feel for you so you can get closure and move on. The best way to do that given what happened here would be to write him a letter or if that is not feasible because of time, distance, etc., an email would work. Spend some time, write it out, then sit with it for a week or so making changes, making revisions, as you go and your feelings change.

 

What I've found is that this becomes a journal or sorts, chronicalling my feelings and how they are changing. Give it a week, see how it is going. I've seen at the end of that week, I compiled such a good journal for myself I had much less desire to send it and didn't do so...my closure came on its own...in time through my own reflection and decsions...

 

And if you want someone else to read what you've written, post it here...maybe your words will help others...