Your INterpretation...???

[FCTex]

First of all, don't listen to any "mediator". Regardless of frienship, mutual, or not.. Just kinda shrug it off and say you don't want to talk about it.

 

It's not highschool, you don't need a guy/girl running back and forth telling little bits and pieces of gossip and the half stories.

 

And the "unfinished business"... Don't listen to that. Everyone has unfinished business with an ex. Something you never had the time/guts to say or do. It's her feeding your friend trash, in hopes of him passing it along. Thats usually how it plays out man.

 

That just my two cents, for what it's worth to you, who knows.

 

As for her pause, it could be anything. It's your mind trying to take control of the situation, and making your situation seem optimistic at times when it's not. It's totally natural and it's almost hard to control at times, trust me!

 

But honestly, I'd just drop off the face of the planet as far as she's concerned right now. If anything, avoid the times you think she might show up. It sounds like your purposely place yourself in situations that she's got a decent-to-high likelyhood she'll show up?

 

Your getting toooooo much contact with her man. Your going to start making plans in your mind, and adding them with your friends two cents worth on the situation, your going to get let down.

 

Be careful man.

[Captain34]

"First of all, don't listen to any "mediator". Regardless of frienship, mutual, or not.. Just kinda shrug it off and say you don't want to talk about it."

 

I wish I hadn't spoken about this with him. Not because of what I heard but because there is no point to the conversation. Mediator is a poor choice on my part here, I haven't spoken with him about this in a very long time, couple months. I am just surprised that she would choose to talk with him about it now twice in just a few days. There has just been a big change in the dynamic between my ex and I over the last week. It has taken me a few days and some posts to recalibrate myself to how things have changed.

 

One of the things Nc made clear to me was that I was being optimistic when it was dangerous for me to be so. I am really focusing on not doing that now, I think I've handled myself well over the last couple weeks. I could always be wrong, but there is definitely still somethingthere between us.

 

But that is probably just residual feelings. I am glad that things have progressed to the point where they are at now, but it is probably best that they dont change anytime soon.

 

 

"But honestly, I'd just drop off the face of the planet as far as she's concerned right now. If anything, avoid the times you think she might show up. It sounds like your purposely place yourself in situations that she's got a decent-to-high likelyhood she'll show up?"

 

I stayed away for over 6 weeks. I did not change up my weekend habits these past few weeks. But it was pretty clear I would be around the places I was at over the past couple of weekends. I am not going to anything because I know she is there and I'm not avoiding it either. If anything she is trying to make it public knowledge where she will be at recently. Although there is some tension when we see each other, it seems to be natural...and it turned to the good sort at the right times. It seems we are both comfortable being in the same places together, but I really don't want to be seeing her so much.

 

 

"Your getting toooooo much contact with her man. Your going to start making plans in your mind, and adding them with your friends two cents worth on the situation, your going to get let down."

 

I can really see what you are saying here. THings have definitely shifted and I have been trying to get my bearings so to speak. You are right though, I'm no meteorologist, I shouldn't forecast. I really had the urge to make amove last night, but I had the self control to play it cool. I'd had a few beers and she had an exam the next day anyway. So regardless of how much this sh*t bugs me out at times it doesn't show much anymore. I'm handling my biz, thanks for the consult.

[FCTex]

Sounds like you have it under wraps again..

 

I just think your well wishing your days away thinking she's go some major plan to fix things. Someone with an agenda would do it, not sit around and wait. Trust me.

[Captain34]

yea Tex, I know what you are saying...but then again I have the greatest urge to make it happen but am being very, VERY cautious.

 

After a long time of solid willpower, I looked at her online profile today. i don't even want to begin to try and interpret what I've been seeing on there.

 

In any case, I was right about one thing - the night I spoke with her last weekend (when she knew she where I would be at), she was wearing the same dress she bought to wear when we went to a special formal occasion last spring.

 

THis is so damn craaaaaaazy that I really do enjoy the whole "game" when I step back a bit and just let myself laugh a little bit.

[FCTex]

The "entertainment" comes are a pretty hefty price, keep that in mind bro.

 

Sure, the drama and the like can be slightly entertaining, but I'm gonna be honest that much more, it becomes a headache.

 

And women will do stuff like that to play games, like if she purposly wore that dress. My ex used to play certain music in the car when we'd drive to go to dinner to talk, or at night when we went to bed. Certain bands/songs that would instantly jog your memory of something that we had done or enjoyed. For instance she'd play a song in the car, like we used to when we'd drive to the beach on the weekends and have an amazing time.

 

Why'd she do that? Who knows. Girls play the game.

[Captain34]

Yea, you guessed it. I ran into the ex again last night.

 

So an old friend of mine is in town, is staying the weekend at my place. He happens to have a thing for my ex's roommate. He ran into this roommate at the gym yesterday and they chatted for a bit - he mentioned he was staying with me. She said she was going out with her girlfriends that night and that they should get together. I later hear this story, but then also hear that my buddy hasn't gotten a call back the last few times he has called her.

 

Myself and a handful of friends watched the ball game and then rolled out for a few drinks. While we were out my ex's roommate calls my buddy up and asks if we are coming to meet them...after about a half hour we roll through.

 

So again I chose to do nothing and chill out with my friends. But I wanted to make something happen. I guess I feel like I shouldn't have gone to the place at all if I wasn't going to make a move. The bar closed about 45 minutes later at which point my ex came over and gave me and a couple friends a hug and said hello. Basically at this point its obvious there is still something going on, but neither are making a direct move. I guess I am frustrated.

 

I feel like I gotta take a step forward. If I do so and don't get what I want then at least I won't be in this limbo.

[FCTex]

Yup man, I told you it going to get to this point. Eitheir swing the bat, or go sit down on the bench.

 

But then again, if she wanted something to happen, she'd do the same thing. Try and bring it out, and be straight forward about it. Don't you think? You understand that she did break up with you. Would you think that if she wanted it fixed, she's fix the situation first because she broke it? Regardless of what reasons she did it on. If you start seeing her more, if you start bringing up the past and the relationship and ask to get back together, don't you think that regardless of her decision your doing more than you should?

 

You'll lose some of your respect and footing perphaps if make all the moves first.

 

And while you understand whats gotta be done so you don't just sit there in limbo wondering IF something is still there, you seem to brush it off as, 'okay so it didnt work'.

 

Just be careful man. I'm rooting for you to get back together, it just doesn't seem like she's at the same point you are.

 

BTW, what school do you go to?

[Captain34]

Didn't see her last night, but i did runinto one of her friends at a bar. I odn't have a problem with any of my exs friends, but this I actually really like. I bought her a drink and she sat down with some friends ofmine and chilled out for a while. It was a nice conversation. Eventually she whips her phone out and talks for a minute, later telling me my ex had just called and they were at a bar just around the corner. This friend didn't suggest we should go, just mentioned it. I didn't want to go, I've been seeing my ex everywhere lately. It was pretty clear she talked to my ex again a while after she said that to me.

 

Now today more drama is happening. I'm just getting sick of this little dance tats been going on. If anything is going to work out she's gotta show me that she wants it. Period.