Seeing the ex around

[redandblack]

Hey,

 

Things have been very akward with my ex lately. We now attend the same university. I am almost literally always on capus, so I see her around quite a bit. Things have been very akward between us since I almost totally ignored her at something we both needed to attend (job related). I know she expects us to hang out, and I feel VERY guilty about simply giving her the cold shoulder and being kind of short with her.

 

I know I shouldn't feel this way. I mean, after all, she did dump me -- so what should she expect, right? But I think, when it comes down to it, I'm just not a mean person and don't want any hostility or akwardness between us. Yeah, I sort of miss her and her friendship, but I know she's emotional poison to me and she makes me want to cry sometimes. I just want to be on "good, but going our separate ways" terms with her, if possible.

 

I've been considering either calling her or emailing her to talk to her briefly if I don't see her in person. I sort of want to make things clear between us, because it's kind of weird. Is this a bad idea? I'm really not just doing this to get into contact with her. Any advice would help me a ton.

 

Thanks a lot!

[Captain34]

my advice would be to not call her. im not advocating the silent treatment, and i dont think hostility is the way to go either. i would just try your best to be casual and natural - wait until you run into her again and at some point make the move and say hello. give a bit of a smile and leave it at that.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I think you should just continue as you have. Its hard to do, but from the sound of things, you still need time to heal.

 

I had problems with a guy I see nearly every day, its been about 7ish months since I even said hi to him. Its been good for me because I really think its protected me from all the emotional stress. Don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself, its not wrong to want to recover and move on.

[redandblack]

I guess I'm sort of afraid of killing off any last possibilities of reconciliation down the road. But I suppose I shouldn't be worrying about that...

[redandblack]

Hahahahaha. She IS mad at me. Oh well. I don't really even care, suprisingly. I don't know if this should bum me out, if she will ever 'get over it', or anything. I guess if she cared enough to get mad about it, then I'm doing better than her in recovery. Maybe she realized that she threw away (and now is being rejected by) the best thing to happen to her thus far. Sucks for her. Hahaha!

 

What's going to be more painful is watching this thread sink lower and lower without posts. ;-)

[Rabican]

just do whats best for you. If you need to not speak to her, or not go out of your way to be nice to her so that you can heal, then do that.

[rightfromthestart]

spooky - i just posted

[zrehman]

Hey

 

If she broke up with you, that means the balls in her court and that she had the upper hand in the last say of the relationship. She will do what she wants because she feels in control. And you being a nice guy isn't gonna work out too well for you.

 

I think you should contact her and lay ground rules down. Because if that does not happen, than its basically "anything goes" and you will get hurt in the process. You already must be hurting alot and you must want to move on, so you should tell her the deal and you should get the closure YOU need.

[rightfromthestart]

my 2 cents

[redandblack]

Ran into her today, again! She was with some dude. She tried to make conversation, but I successfully deflected her questions. It was kind of weird essentially seeing my 'replacement'. Akward...