Stay single... (link)

[friscodj]

I'm skeptical about so called "studies show/experts say..." but the article in this link has some good food for thought and might serve as a nice pick-me-up for those struggling with being alone or trying to find someone...

 

 

Here, 10 fascinating benefits to being unmarried:

 

Reason #1: You have a better body

We’ve all been there—you get into a relationship, and suddenly you’re trying out new recipes all the time and cuddling instead of exercising. Well, things tend to get worse with marriage. A recent Cornell University study found that women generally gain five to eight pounds in the first few years of marriage and unhappily married women gain an average of 54 pounds in the first 10 years.

 

 

link removed

[TheRedQueen]

My spinster aunt does not fit any of these criteria.

 

Staying single is easy, staying in a committed relationship however is not.

 

Either way you win, either way you lose.

[hosswhispra]

Very interesting research.

 

But despite all of it, I still want to find true love. I wonder what is causing that intrinsic desire within me? I wonder if it could be turned off with some invention from a pharmaceutical company. Something like a 'desiring love blocker'....antagonist that blocks the love receptor?? Wonder if that's possible...

[rose2summer]

I am sold frisco. Singles life is the best!

 

I must be honest though, I have been the happiest in my life when I am single because I get to:

1) Pursue my education/career with no distractions

2) Go out with friends whenever I please

3) Not required to call someone or check-in

4) I spend more money on nice things for myself than paying for dinners

5) Life is GOOD!

 

Rose

[TheRedQueen]

That intrinsic desire is propelled by your evolutionary drive to reproduce.

[hosswhispra]

That intrinsic desire is propelled by your evolutionary drive to reproduce.

 

You're right, RedQueen. My intrinsic desire turned on the same year I turned 30 and my father died.

 

I am sure all these feelings/desires will pass one day--probably with menopause

[TheRedQueen]

A truly happy person would be happy regardless of whether they were in a relationship or not.

[rose2summer]

Very interesting research.

 

But despite all of it, I still want to find true love. I wonder what is causing that intrinsic desire within me? I wonder if it could be turned off with some invention from a pharmaceutical company. Something like a 'desiring love blocker'....antagonist that blocks the love receptor?? Wonder if that's possible...

 

Turn off your limbic system and you will be golden! lol

[brando]

Unless of course they are married to an unhappy person....

[itsallgrand]

I like it! Thanks, it just what I needed right now.

 

Y'know, I am glad I haven't married yet. I've had some fantastic relationships, flings, not-so-fantastic relationships, times alone: and I regret none of that. It's a good ride, this life.

 

Got some work to do on myself, but don't we all.

 

I truly believe that if/when I do choose to get married: it will be one full-hearted, kick-butt marriage without all the fairy tale stuff. Marriage is not the answer to any of life's problems. Some of my married friends have learnt that the hard way.

 

"The grass is always greener

until you've climbed 50 fences

and then you can appreciate green grass for what it is."

[TheRedQueen]

You're right, RedQueen. My intrinsic desire turned on the same year I turned 30 and my father died.

 

I am sure all these feelings/desires will pass one day--probably with menopause

That's funny, my intrinsic desire to find "love" turned off the same year my father died.

[TheRedQueen]

Unless of course they are married to an unhappy person....

Interesting point, especially when considering the fact that opposites attract, but my therapist always tells me that like attracts like. I'm hoping that she's right.

[hosswhispra]

Actually what I really desire is to be a child again. Those were some comforting days and anything (including true love) seemed possible.

 

Growing up and seeing the harsh reality of how things 'really are' makes me sad, honestly.

 

Maybe it's just PMS...I don't know.

[friscodj]

Maybe it's just PMS...I don't know.

 

No it's not...I feel that way too sometimes...

[rose2summer]

Actually what I really desire is to be a child again. Those were some comforting days and anything (including true love) seemed possible.

 

Growing up and seeing the harsh reality of how things 'really are' makes me sad, honestly.

 

Maybe it's just PMS...I don't know.

 

Well, I feel that way too Hoss. The world isn't as sweet as it was growing up, but you know what, now we have our steel armor and strength when we meet the "right one" who will appreciate our life experiences.

[rose2summer]

No it's not...I feel that way too sometimes...

 

You get PMS too frisco??? No Way! lol

[hosswhispra]

No it's not...I feel that way too sometimes...

 

hahahaha!

 

I read that everything in life starts out as a small desire and then climbs in amplitude to a maximum point. Then once something climbs to the top (peak interest), it starts to fall down and interest wanes....and goes away forever...

[brando]

well their were painful moments too growing up, the first realizations of what life will be about, and that was painul as a child. But we are drifting from the original topic here.

[hosswhispra]

Well, I feel that way too Hoss. The world isn't as sweet as it was growing up, but you know what, now we have our steel armor and strength when we meet the "right one" who will appreciate our life experiences.

 

I want the same feeling back that I had when I believed in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, and true love.

[friscodj]

You get PMS too frisco??? No Way! lol

 

Yeah, it's a sad sight...

[brando]

Yeah, it's a sad sight...

 

 

now i have herad it all....

[friscodj]

Unless of course they are married to an unhappy person....

 

Oh yeah, I would choose 101 times out of 100 to be single vs. being in a bad relationship...good point...

[TheRedQueen]

Well, I feel that way too Hoss. The world isn't as sweet as it was growing up, but you know what, now we have our steel armor and strength when we meet the "right one" who will appreciate our life experiences.

 

My steel armor, strength and life experience has effectively worked against me in the "love" department. Men don't know what to do, think, say or make of me. I've gotten several permutations of this from the guys I have dated.

[TheRedQueen]

I want the same feeling back that I had when I believed in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, and true love.

 

Never had the opportunity to believe in any of these things, except for the last one. Yeah and it's been a tough one to let go of.

[rose2summer]

My steel armor, strength and life experience has effectively worked against me in the "love" department. Men don't know what to do, think, say or make of me. I've gotten several permutations of this from the guys I have dated.

 

What exactly do they tell you about your life experiences that has worked against you? That's definitely interesting to say the least, I mean maybe not moreso than frisco's PMSing, but I am intrigued!