ImThatGirl Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 Alright - have a question to ask anyone who would be nice enough to answer. I've been dating my boyfriend for a few months. He originally told me his bday is in October. This week he told me his parents may be having a cookout for him today. I asked what for - he said his bday and then told me his bday was October 26. I asked why they would have a cookout for him if his bday wasn't until end of October. Then the cookout got cancelled. I thought maybe they were just having it early while it was still nice enough. Today he mentioned he may go out to dinner with his parents this evening - for his bday. I again asked when his bday is. He told me today and then told me it's in 3 days. He has myspace - his bday hasn't popped up yet. What would you do if your bf refused to tell you when his bday is????? He usually won't tell his friends when his bday is. Last year his bday passed with nobody knowing until after his bday (so he says.) I'd like to do something for him for his bday but should I assume he really doesn't want me to since he won't tell me? Clueless... Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 If you can't ask him a simple non invasive question about when his birthday is...isn't that indicative of a problem of trust/communication? Some people don't like birthdays. And are compulsive liars. For example, I used to enjoy lying about my birthday, mainly when I was paranoid and got a kick of lying at the same time. It's not good, but it's how some minds work. All the same . . . you oughta be able to ask him, lady! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 That's along the same lines that I'm thinking..... Thank you ~~~~ Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 good point ALS! why don't you just ask him if he would like to do something with you on his birthday? some people hate birthdays and would rather avoid them. just ask what he would like to do. and if he'd rather do nothing, then respect that also. Link to comment
coollady1957 Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 Sounds really strange for someone to not be upfront about when their birthday is. However, I guess it could be as some of the post suggests and he just doesn't like birthdays or celebrations. But then again, you said he was supposedly up for a cook out with his family and even possibly going out to dinner with his parents for his bday. He bounces back and forth about his birthday being Septemeber, then October and then back to September which just seems a little odd to me. How old is he anyway? How long have you two been dating? Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 He's going to be 31. We've been dating for 3 months. Serious dating and spending lots of time together. He has been acting "different" for the past week. Gotta run out to get a bday present for my son's friend now... I'll check in a little later. I'm thinking along the lines of just not acknowledging his bday since he's made it clear he's not going to tell me. I made it clear that it hurts my feelings and bothers me that he won't tell me (this morning.) Link to comment
JSMITH Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 rather than thinking about ... "communication problem" how about a simple nice question ... "honey, i would like to take you out for a nice dinner for your birthday. Which day would be a good day? " "we can make it just two of us ... kindda romantic ... or invite whole bunch of your friends!" Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 Thank you JSmith - Sounds like a good plan.... Chances are he'll say no - - - we're not going out if it is for his bday. But I'll try..... Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 why don't you just ask him, "hey - I get the feeling you are not a birthday person. is this right?" Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 He told me last year he went out with friends on his bday but didn't tell a single one of them that it was his bday. I also know that he's willing to go out with his parents for his bday. He said he didn't do anything for my bday so he doesn't want me to do anything for his. We weren't even dating until a few weeks after my bday. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 is he a good boyfriend otherwise? really, I have dated guys who are not into birthdays at all. they'd just kind of rather avoid the whole day. and I figure, if that's what they want, not even a simple dinner, then whatever.... don't stress about it no point in going out of your way to be thoughtful if it's not going to be appreciated. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 I think he is a good boyfriend otherwise.... Seemed a little different for the past week though. Lol - I guess I'll see how the next couple of days are. . . I'm not going to push the bday issue. If he doesn't want to be clear about it, I'm not gonna fuss about it... lol I'm going back and forth on what to do. I'm playing into his game and that's the last thing I wanted to do. Thank you Annie! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 I think he is a good boyfriend otherwise.... Seemed a little different for the past week though. Lol - I guess I'll see how the next couple of days are. . . I'm not going to push the bday issue. If he doesn't want to be clear about it, I'm not gonna fuss about it... lol I'm going back and forth on what to do. I'm playing into his game and that's the last thing I wanted to do. Thank you Annie! Here is what I would do. Bake something - cookies, muffins, whatever (not a birthday cake and probably not even a cake). give it to him and tell him it is a "happy autumn!" gift or a halloween gift - and say - I know you didn't want to celebrate your bday but you can't pass up an autumn or halloween gift, can you? I do find it odd that he won't tell you but I know some people who are odd about their birthdays. and - since it is his day if he wants to celebrate by not celebrating, that's his choice. . . . Link to comment
valiantv Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Maybe he's ashamed of his bidet because he hasn't cleaned it in a while or something... Link to comment
Momene Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 He might have had something bad happened on a previous birthday. Although I celebrate Father's Day, I remember our first family dog dying one Father's Day. For a while we didn't celebrate my parents' wedding anniversary because that was the day I got married to my ex-wife. Now I've been remarried for 17 years it isn't an issue. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 26, 2006 Author Share Posted September 26, 2006 Today is his birthday. He finally told me on Sunday.. I may see him tonight. If so, I'll get cookies or a cake or something. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 26, 2006 Author Share Posted September 26, 2006 Thank you Momene!!! Link to comment
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