going crazy over someone who I can't have :(

[shy_girl_85]

Hey,

I like someone, I mean really like them. It's a guy at work. He likes me back, I can tell by the way we are together, it's just so nearly perfect. We get on like a house on fire and we just can't stop smiling at each other when we see each other. We always have these little private conversations that are just nonsense really but we have to have them, we always do. I feel like a 21 yr old schoolgirl with a crush.

 

I really want to take things further, ask him out, but there's something holding me back. I'm white, he's asian. I don't know how people in our lives would react. My family aren't racist as such but they do 'look down' on inter-racial relationships. I don't know what his family are like for that. I live in a very right-wing area with a lot of very racist people around here. I'm not racist but those around me are and it's very worrying. I know some of the stuff they do to asians and white girls and it's scary.

 

It seems crazy but when I think of him none of this matters, it's like my head isn't on my shoulders, but when I come down to earth and kind of take me and him out of the equation I can see the flaws. I'm pretty damn mixed up about it all and I don't know what to do. He just feels so special.

 

Say I did ask him out, how would I do it? I'm quite shy in that respect. Guys have always been the ones to make the first move on me. I'm not overly self-confident. Can anyone help me?

 

S_G_85 x

[crazy300]

wow ur post could have been mine.Lol

 

All i can say is that if he feels perfect, i suggest u give it a shot..lifes too short to not, and then wonder.

 

Maybe u shud hint at him...like heyy how abt we get lunch today..im starving...or have u tried this '-----' its really good, ill take u there sometime..what u doing tomorrow?

 

Hope it works..good luck!

[CamaroJoe]

Yes someone can help you. lol

 

First off, STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU! Sorry for yelling at you lol. But seriously, if you're happy with this dude, then the hell with what others think. Even your family...sorry you love your family, you respect them etc..but you can't let them run your life..

 

 

And as far as asking him out. Just say something like, "Hey, I am going to " " for a drink after work (or whenever you chose), would you like to come?" This is almost flawless. You're not 'asking him out' so it's easy and how people are going to say no?

[amtjrtcet]

Welcome!

Go for it! Don't let the fact that you are white and he's asian stop you! My b/f is black and I'm hispanic/italian (but I look white-ie pic-til you hear my accent). I live in Al, we get a lot of stares and whispers....But the people who look down on us b/c we are an interracial couple can kiss my $$$. They are close minded and ignorant.

I have never ever been this happy, no man has ever treated me this good.

 

Suggest the 2 of you hang out, have dinner, see a movie. If you get the vibe that he's into you-go for it!

You only live once, don't let the man of your dreams pass you by b/c of other peoples ignorance

[Relationship Coach]

Welcome to ENA!

 

Let me ask you something, when you look at him, do you see a beautiful person or a person of Asian descendant?

 

What matters is how you feel about him or how you feel about each other. There will always be those with a shallow mind chalked full of ignorance, you can't change them don't waste energy trying. What you can do is change your outlook on others ability to create resistance in your own choice of relationships.

 

Maybe he is having the same concerns and fears, thereforeeee he has been reluctant to take this to the next level. Let him know you are and hold more value in a relationship with him than you do fear of it's repercussions.

 

RC

[shy_girl_85]

HI,

Thanks guys Your replies have meant so much, and they've helped me a lot. I haven't spoke about this to anyone before.

 

I think I'm definitely gonna ask him if he wants to hang out some time. I don;t know what or how but I'll get round to it. Cinema seems like a good idea. Or maybe meet up with him on a night out.

 

RC - when I look at him I just see this guy, this incredibly gorgeous guy with the loveliest eyes, smile, everything.

 

Guess I'm jusy scared of being rejected by everyone around me, but I feel like I can't just not do anything. Feel like if I don't do anything then I'll regret it.

 

Sxx

[CamaroJoe]

Don't ever go to a movie or out to eat on a first date! Some people are uncomfortable in an eating scenario and movies you can't talk.

[shy_girl_85]

Don't ever go to a movie or out to eat on a first date! Some people are uncomfortable in an eating scenario and movies you can't talk.

 

 

 

OMG! I never realised that, but you are soo right. God, I'm no good at this!

[CamaroJoe]

lol...here's an idea. Go play put put golf...first dates should be fun and give you guys a chance to talk and get to know eachother outside of your usual interactions.

 

I personally like to go walk on the beach during sunset, or go to a park, put put golf is fun, or even and this will sound dorky, go to a wal mart or a toy store and just play around. It's about enjoying your time with the person and having fun.

[shy_girl_85]

Yeah that's a good idea. We work in wal mart already and hang around the toy department together, messing around with the toys and laughing a lot. We don't have put put golf here but there's bowling and things like that.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Keep us update on your progress.