just friends...ugh

[Andrew11]

my ex girlfriend broke up with me and said she wanted to be friends and see where things go from there....and do i make things go in a better direction so that it will increase the chances of us getting back together?

[audreypoulain]

Andrew, as hard as it may seem it is best to leave it as it is. Start NC ASAP if you can in order to heal. Yeah I know she did say "lets be friends" but still remaining friends right now is giong to hurt you more than you think its going to help your chances of getting your girl back. I made the mistake of continuing to talk to my EX in that we fought and even ended the only thing left that was connected to him a friendship.

[tylercdurden2004]

You cant MAKE her coem back to you. A break is a break up. And continuing to be friends afterwards is often difficult if not impossible. Take some time to work on yourself if she comes back then she comes back there is nothing i repeat NOTHING you can do. I ahve been there done that and bought the T-shirt. Most people have.

[joyce1412]

it seems counterintuitive in some respects, but the best thing you can do for the possibility of reconciliation is to keep your distance. don't let yourself be pigeonholed as a "friend," because it's so hard to dig your way out of that one and you probably won't be satisfied with that kind of relationship. chances are she will just get comfortable with having you there as a friend, and it will be so comfortable for her in that place of friendship that she will have no good reason to leave it. i know how i see my guy friends, and the more "friendly" we are, the less i can imagine myself dating them.

 

NC or LC is your best option. forcing her to live a life without you is the surest way for her to find out if she wants to be with you romantically. and if she's comfortable with THIS life--a life in which you two are no longer together--then there's your answer: you were never meant to be.

[Andrew11]

ive already done no contact for 3 weeks and then she broke it to say she wanted to be friends and see where things go

[Sad_now]

Don't! Really! Be selfish - if you can't have the cake, why settle for the crumbs...

[paulapalooza]

Hey Andrew11

 

My bf broke up with me two weeks ago now. I'm still hopeful that we'll get back together, but the main thing is that right now, you have to be selfish. It isn't about you and her anymore because frankly, there is no more you and her. Women aren't attracted to sad guys. Guys aren't attracted to needy women. Right now you have to build your confidence and the only way to do that is NC! I'm doing the same.

 

Why don't you get out and do your favourite things or things you want to try in order to keep your mind of the pain? With time you'll begin to feel good about yourself again. And then, and only then, when you're healed and more confident is there a chance that you will get back together. Unfortunately, it also depends on her. Who knows? By that time, you may not even want to get back together with her.